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Edited by wtf mfw o______O:
10/22/2014 4:23:54 PM
416
If Bungie ran McDonald's. (episode 1)
Bungie: Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order?
o______o: Yeah, I'll have the big mac value meal with some water.
Bungie: If that's all, that will be $5.69. Please pull around to the first window.
*pulls around, hands Bungie my money.
Bungie: Here you go, have a good day.
o_____o: Wait, what is this? You gave me an empty bag.
Bungie: Whoops, sorry. This is my first time doing this sort of thing.
o_____o: Understandable.
bungie: Ok, here is your meal. Sorry about that.
o_____o: Dude....you gave me two patties, but no buns, pickles, mac sauce, or any of the other toppings. The fries and water are missing as well. What the hell?!?
bungie: Oh...sorry, you have to pay extra for the toppings.
o_____o: That's -blam!-ing bullshit. I paid $5.69 for the big mac value meal, it says so right back there on the menu.
bungie: Did you read the very small writing?
o_____o: What small writing?!?
bungie: under the menu, it says "price may not always cover all content in the picture.".
o_____o: That is DECEPTIVE and misleading! Now I demand that you give me what I paid for.
*car beeps behind o_____o*
Desticle: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!!
o_____o: I CAN'T! NOT UNTIL I GET WHAT I PAID FOR!!! THEY ONLY GAVE ME TWO PATTIES!!!!
Desticle: WHO CARES? YOU'RE THE KIND OF WHINER WHO PROBABLY USED TO EAT AT WENDY'S!!!
Bungie: Ok...look, I'm sorry. Your feedback has been noted. I'll fix this situation right away.
*takes o____o's order back.
o______o: Finally.
*bungie comes back with a dripping bag and hands it to o_____o
o_____o: What the -blam!-?!?!
Bungie: We gave you the water for free.
o_____o: YOU POURED IT IN MY BAG YOU IDIOT!!!!
Desticle: WOW, YOU ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING DON'T YOU?
o_____o: HEY, IT'S NOT MY FAULT THEY KEEP -blam!-ING IT UP!!!
Desticle: THEY DIDN'T -blam!- ANYTHING UP, THIS IS THE BEST RESTAURANT EVER!!!!
Bungie: I'm sorry sir, we really want your meal to be satisfactory, but let's stay on target. If you would like to leave some feedback, pull up to our feedback box and leave your feedback on a piece of paper. The feedback box is right over there.
o_____o: That looks like a trash can.
Bungie: It's our feedback box.
o_____o: It IS a trash can!!!
Bungie: Your concern has been noted, leave it in the feedback box.
o____o: HOW ABOUT I LEAVE IT HERE? ALL I WANTED WAS THE BIG MAC VALUE MEAL WHICH I PAID FOR! IT'S VERY EASY TO DO, JUST PUT TWO PATTIES BETWEEN DOUBLE DECKER BUNS, PUT THE TOPPINGS ON THE PATTIES, WRAP IT UP, INCLUDE SOME FRIES, AND PUT THEM BOTH IN THE BAG. THEN HAND ME THE BOTTLED WATER. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, UNSCREWING THE BOTTLE AND POURING IT IN THE BAG?!?
Bungie: We wanted it to be a more interactive experience.
o_____o: WHAAAAAAAT?!?!?
Bungie: I'm sorry sir, we are trying to please you. Here, I'll fix the situation for you. *dumps a whole bag of tablesalt all over o_____o.
o____o: *spits and hacks the salt out of his nose and mouth.* WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK?!?!?! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?
Bungie: My intent was to dry up the spilled water and bring out the flavor in the hamburger.
o____o: HOW CAN YOU BE SO INCOMPETENT?!?
Bungie, sir, please stay on target. Feedback belongs in the feedback box.
o____o: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU GUYS?!? I used to love coming here. I remember when your slogan used to be "We love to see you smile!". What ever happened to those days, where you actually cared about your customers? Now it seems like you are on drugs. Why do you treat us like thi...
*Bungie shuts the window on o_____o
o_____o: -blam!- this.
*o_____o drives away angrily, forced to accept his mess.
[i]Next time on "If Bungie ran McDonald's"....Bungie nerfs coffee.[/i]
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1 ReplyEdited by luckyguess: 10/23/2014 2:01:22 AM[quote]Bungie: Ok...look, I'm sorry.[/quote] That's where the script became unbelievable for me. Bungie would never say this. By the way, you should add dialog where you complained about a flavorless burger and Bungie insists that if you keep eating, the real flavor kicks in after you finish eating... While the burger is digesting in your stomach and it's too late to get a refund.
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Bump in hopes Bungie actually reads this.(Probably not as it will be filed in feedback. Lol) Great work Longface, as always.
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3 Replies"i would like a milkshake please" " sorry sir, the milkshakes had to be nerfed. Would you like some milk in a sippycup?"
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-blam!-ing hilarious and so, so true.
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You should write a book just depicting what Bungie would be like if they were other companies.
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LMFAO!
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Me: Where's my toy? Bungie: Your what? Me: the toy that's supposed to come with my Happy Meal! Bungie: oh that. You didn't get it this time. Me: This time...? Bungie: But don't worry. If you buy a bigger Happy Meal, you'll have a better chance at getting it! Me: Why should I have to pay more money to get a dinky toy? Deej: Well sir, if it's so "dinky", why do you even want it? Grow up. Me: Whoa now, don't need the hostility. Deej: If only you behaved more like me, a respectable member of the community. Me: Derp, you're supposed to be a professional, yet yer resorting to petty insults, all cuz I want my damn toy. Bungie: Well, tell us your problems. We'll then pretend to care. Me: Screw this, I'm leaving. Bungie: Like we care. Yer just one person.
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It's funny because it's completely true
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this sounds like every trip i take to mcdonalds. Mcdonalds is horrible service and food. the fact that they get orders wrong 9 times out of 10 is kind of amazing.
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Brilliant XD
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This is great.
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can I get a big mac meal large with a sprite goes to window gets handed a double cheese burger and a small fry and diet coke looks up and its master rahool
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priceless
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How about... Me: There's no meat in it, WTH?! Bungie: Forgot to tell you that fillings are RNG. You may get pork, chicken, fish, beef, or nothing! Me: Why you paint the Big Mac like having all the good stuff? Bungie: Oh, that's advertising. Better luck next time customer. Besticles: Yeah, try harder next time, loser! By the way, thanks for the good jokes! Keep them coming!
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[URL=https://imageshack.com/i/exmwnc7sj][IMG]http://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/150x100q90/537/mwnc7s.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
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Edited by WickedWahine808: 10/23/2014 1:42:33 AM^ And he'll add a savant baby tiger toy too ...
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If the Bungie community dined at McDonald's... Forum Troll: I'll take a Big Mac, I just saw the commercial and it looks DELICIOUS! McDonald's: Here you are, sir! Forum Troll: What the HELL is THIS? It looked JUICIER in the COMMERCIAL! You will regret this FOREVAR!!! Troll proceeds to harass other customers, starts a social media campaign (#feedback), threatens to sue McDonald's, and anyone who defends McDonald's. Meanwhile, McDonald's sells a crap ton of Big Mac's to satisfied customers, who super size their meal.
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3 RepliesCorrection: o_____o: Where is the rest of my Big Mac?! Bungie: Sir don't you understand? It is part of the ten year plan, you get the patties now, the toppings in a year and a half, the buns a few years after that, your water comes out 5 years from now and the fries... Well those are extra, or if you bought our Deluxe Big Mac meal for 2 dollars more you would have gotten the fries. o______o: And do I have a table inside to eat this meal? Bungie: No sorry all of our good tables went to our upcoming new store, the McDonald's MCC, we know this one is really hyped and came out first but we only wanted it for some side money, the real money maker is going to be that McDonald's, I mean seriously, a ten-year plan? For a hamburger? We weren't off to the best start haha o______o: *Brain explosion*
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This is soooo true, thanks you for expressing my concerns with a "terrible drive thru experience" analogy. It is spot on.
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Did I inspire this ?
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oh boy i like this
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10 RepliesI understand the overall analogy, but Instead of making fun of the overall situation with a humorous complaint, why not just avoid the situation all together? Obviously you do not eat a certain food if you don't like it. If you don't like bungie's game, don't play it. :/
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I believe the thing that 99.99% of responders is missing is that there is a "next time on Bungie runs McDonalds". Meaning he went back despite his bad experience.... Which captures Destiny perfectly. Despite all my numerous complaints I still logged like 7 hours today.
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1 ReplyHehe. While funny and I know it's satire, we know what's supposed to be in a Big Mac. Destiny is like one of those new sandwiches at McD's that isn't programmed in the register yet and there's no picture instruction guide in the back on how to make it yet. We didn't know what we were getting or how much at once. I admit, with Activision in bed with Blizzard, you'd think they'd pass along some of the what-makes-an-online-open-world-RPG-type-thing-work info along. Not to say that WoW is perfect, but it's got most of what people think was missing from Destiny. Though, at least we didn't need to kill 400 friggin trolls to get 20 troll ears.
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McDestiny
