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Edited by Atomic Tea:
9/4/2014 12:46:38 AM
66
Female Drivers
Right, so. Against my better judgement, I decided to leave the safety of my basement to pick up some lunch. So there I was, sitting at the light and waiting for it to turn green so I could make my left turn. I wasn't harming anyone. I was just minding my own business and thinking how delicious my taco was going to taste.
The light turns green. I thought I was safe. I thought I was going to live to see my children grow up. I was WRONG. As I was turning, this stupid brunette lady comes out of nowhere, plows through her red light and slams on her brakes as she sees me in front of her. She swerves headlong into the other lane and stops briefly. I stop as well. Traffic was light this afternoon. We were the only two in the immediate vicinity. I look over to her, and see that she is, of course, on her cellphone. The red plastic device seems to be glued to her face. It was as if the side of her face had some sort of suction cup like a squid that held it in place. I roll down my window and start yelling sexist obscenities at her. I was livid. She almost wrecked me. Didn't this bitch know that she ran a red light? Why wasn't she paying attention?
She drives away, still on her cellphone. Her light was still red. I regret the fact that there were no cops around, ready and able to shoot this broad for disobeying the traffic laws.
The taco was delicious. Sorry, I just had to vent my frustrations. Women suck at driving.
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2 RepliesThings I hate: 1. People who rush to get in front of me, then SLOW DOWN, particularly on rural country roads. (Oh, ok, you must have somewhere important to be, ok, you earne- OH GODDAMMIT, WTF! WHY ARE YOU SLOWING DOWN! ... I COULD BE WAY THE -blam!- UP THERE BY NOW!) 2. People who drive slowly in the left lane. (Kill yourself if you do this.) 3. Minivans. (Ew.) 4. Speed limits (55 feels so incredibly slow to me, at least on a highway) 5. Ricer with obnoxious coffee can exhaust that sounds like a swarm of angry hornets at 15 miles an hour. (Bonus points for rear spoiler wing on FWD car.) 6. Old people with nice cars that are going about 35. (Why?) 7. Police departments with quotas to reach. (Half the sheriff's office shouldn't be speed trapping the ever-loving -blam!- out of the interstate.) 8. People who lack situational awareness to see a vehicle coming and not jump out in front of them. (Seriously, put your damn phone and latte down and WATCH. THE. ROAD.) 9. People who can't talk and drive at the same time, or multitask in general. 10. People in general. 11. Lists. [spoiler]12. Irony. HOW IRONIC :P[/spoiler] [spoiler]Also, I keep my truck's exterior in disrepair to scare people when I come up behind them, once I thought about getting some blood red spray paint and putting tally marks on it.[/spoiler]
