*Uses the information to hunt down terrorist sniper and international playboy BioSmiley* *Is voted President of the Earth by a grateful public. Bans violence in all forms. World peace breaks out* *Alien observers realize mankind has finally come of age and is ready to join the galactic civilization* *Meets the alien ambassador in the shadow of mankind's greatest creation: Scarlett Johansson's breasts* *Yeah. Wait, what? No. The pyramids, right?* *Sure, whatever* *Shakes the ambassador's hand. Addresses the crowd* This is a proud day for humanity. For the first time, we are not alone. Now we can look to the stars, hold our heads high and *gets sniped*