Do what you want. My least favorite thing about that series is that you have to go either full renegade or paragon to get the later renegade/paragon options. Do a playthrough where you're half and half or wherever you end up and live with the consequences.
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I've always wanted to do that, but I hate people dying. No matter which side I pick.
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you can actually go paragade and keep everyone alive... might require a 2nd playthrough with a full paragon char I suppose though, but I know I even was able to make peace between jack and miranda with the paragon choice every time despite going paragade.... (if you can't choose the appropriate paragon / renegade choice in the dialog you might consider temporarily changing your class specialisation to the one that gives the high bonus to paragon / renegade scores)
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Yeah the trick I learned with jack and Miranda is to wait and do one of their loyalty missions as one of the last missions you do. That way you have full renegade or paragon to talk them out of the situation.
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But look on the bright side, in the end of the trilogy, it doesn't really matter who died!
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The ending surprisingly doesn't bother me to much.