You'd win... the only way I would even get a medal in the Crucible is if they gave a medal for "First one killed" or "Get killed 5 times in a row without getting a kill." I'm so bad at PvP that even with an Intercepter I get no kills.
If I ever see you in the Crucible... I would run up to you and dance until you kill me, that is if I don't accidentally commit suicide on the way.
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I actually earned that medal 8 times!