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7/15/2014 12:17:41 AM
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Shrek Fanfiction Thread

I made this thread in hopes of finding fellow Shrek fans with stories of their own. Here's mine: "I wake up in the morning to my parents screaming at me, telling me "Wake up fa­ggot, and clean your shitty room!" Angry that they did not read the warning sign on my door I roar at them, saying "Get out! This is my swamp!" You see the thing is I'm a Shrek fan. I have the collectors edition DVD with the case that talks and I watch it every weekend. Sometimes I wish I lived in a land Far Far Away like the ones I adore. After eating breakfast(I skip showering and brushing) my father notices the stench of raw onions and orders me to shower. He thinks I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. I call him an asshole and he punches me down to the ground. He gets on top of me screaming "I'll kill you worthless piece of shit!" as I say my last goodbyes to this cruel world, I hear a faint but familiar voice in the wind. This quiet, and soothing voice says "It not ogre till I say it's ogre." I look up only to see Shrek on top of my father ground pounding him with his giant green fist. My face rose full of joy when I saw this. When the deed was done Shrek cleansed his stained fist with mud and I hugged him. "Easy there tiger!" he says, he looks me in the eye and I can see the color of mud in his pupils. He slams my body on a table leaving my lower body hanging downward. He shoves his giant ogre cock in my anus. I was sore but cried tears of joy, for it was no ordinary man tearing my rectum apart. It was Shrek. My mother comes downstairs saying "Who's cooking with onions in here." She looks with her eyes now filled with horror. Shrek being the brave sexy ogre he is looks her dead in the eyes and says "It's all ogre now." As my mother faints he then flys out of the window and goes far, far away. Soon after I notice another familiar smell. Someone else is in this house....but who? I yell "Who dare enters my swamp?!" The mysterious person not revealing their identity only says this "I'm making waffles!" To be Continued....

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  • > I was only 9 years old > I loved Obama so much, I had all the merchandise and movies > I pray to Obama every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given > "Obama is love" I say. "Obama is life" > My dad hears me and he calls me a Liberal > I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Obama > I called him a Republi-blam!- > He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep > I'm crying now, and my face hurts > I lay in bed and its really cold > A warmth is moving towards me > I feel something touch me > It's Obama > I am so happy > He whispers in to ear, "this is my country" > He grabs me with his powerful barack hands and puts me on my hands and knees > I'm ready > I spread my voting papers for Obama > He penetrates my Ballotbox > It hurts so much but I do it for Obama > I can feel my vote tearing as my eyes start to water > I push against his force > I want to please Obama > He roars a mighty roar as he fills my ballotbox with his votes > My dad walks in > Obama looks him straight in the eye and says. "Its all ogre now" > Obama leaves through my window > Obama is Shrek > Shrek is love, Shrek is life

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