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Edited by FatherlyNick: 7/2/2014 8:28:35 PM
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FatherlyNick will help you get laid.

[i]For those who dont want to read - post what is preventing you from getting laid, I will help.[/i] If you are in desperate need in getting some physical intimacy, but can't seem to get any - this is the thread for you! Note that this thread isn't about constructing and maintaining a relationship. Keep in mind that going to bed with someone does not mean that you will be in a relationship aftewrads. Although some relationships DO begin like that. I know of at least two such cases. [b]Only one rule for now: You and your partner must be of legal age.[/b] So make sure that mommy and daddy will not castrate/steralise you because of Mr. FatherlyNick here, mkay? I don't care why you want to get laid (be it just because you want to lose your virginity, or there is someone attractive and you would like to spend an evening with someone sexy), I will try to help you in every way I can in order to get you in the boat. [b]Section 1[/b] Lets begin with some questions you should be able to answer. 1) What orientation am I? Answering this will help you identify what sort of partner you would like to get close with. I wont help you find yourself, so this is really up to you. 2) Do I know someone who would like to/wouldn't mind sleeping with me? This is often overlooked. If you have a friend/friends who wouldn't mind helping you out with your intimacy depravation, start by talking to them about your intention of possibly getting a little closer than 'just friends'. Make sure that this person will not freak out when you suddenly start flirting with them. Your confidence should also be up while doing this. AVOID SOUNDING OR LOOKING DESPARATE! Its a major turn-off. I understand that 'flirting' can be hard for you (you're reading this thread for a reason...); Don't worry, I will try to help you out with that. 3) Is there someone who you find attractive? Don't think about 'league' or 'too attractive'. Remember, it's all about confidence and being nice even to people who are 'out of your league'. Be noble and be yourself. Do a background check and make sure that this person is not in a relationship with someone and is not currently on a 'break' from a relationship. The last thing you want to do is break-up a couple or get into trouble with someone's partner. If they are in a relationship - look for someone else and don’t wait for them to become free. (You're here to get laid and not to get into a relationship). 4) Am I strong enough to just walk away after sleeping with someone? Basically, if you somehow end up falling in love. Will you be able to accept the fact that the other person did not and will not have any feelings for you other than lust? This can be tough, if you feel that the person you are about to sleep with has some feelings for you, avoid any physical intimacy with them. Unless of course you both are willing to become actual partners, at least for some time. You don’t want to be in pain and you don’t want to break hearts. Trust me. 5) What is preventing you from getting laid? It can be tough in admitting your downsides, identifying these can be very beneficial. I kid you not, make a list and work towards improving these. Do not expect results straight away, give it all the time it needs. Ok, that’s all of the important questions I can think of for now. So you think you are ready to satisfy that animal instinct of yours? [b]Section 2[/b] Lets talk about your physical appearance. The question is simple - if you were the person you are trying to sleep with, would you sleep with yourself? Be honest here. Don’t undersell and don’t over sell. Sure you may think you’re a 10/10, but since you’re reading this, you might actually be a little lower than that. Here are a list of things you might want to verify - I am hygienic + Daily showers (One should be enough, more than that can make your skin produce excess oils. Take more than one shower only if you absolutely need to). + You put on deodorant after you shower. + Brush your teeth after breakfast and before going to sleep + I wash my legs and feet and not just armpits, privates and hair. (Seriously, wash your damn legs!) + I check if my t-shirt does not smell before I put it on + I wash my hands with soap after I use the bathroom - I am not lazy when it comes to taking care of myself + I maintain my facial hair in good condition and ensure that it does not look like pubic hair + I comb my hair after I take a shower + I do regular exercises (You don’t have to lift 800kg, push-ups/pull-ups are good, jogging, stretching exercises) + I use skin care products to keep my acne under control. + I try to keep a good posture at all times + I wear a suitable perfume + I don’t smoke, I rarely smoke - My clothes are in order + My socks don’t have holes in them (If a sock has a hole in it, throw that pair out and buy a kilogram of new pairs) + My t-shirts are not too big for me. + I do not wear the same exact clothes for more than 3 days in a row + The colors of my clothes complement each other (seriously, don’t be a walking traffic light) + My clothes are not wrinkled (unless that article of clothing was designed to be) - I know how to behave around people + I do not interrupt people + My voice is not too loud/too quiet + I can look people in the eye while talking to them + I can stay quiet and don’t have to constantly talk + I can listen to a person talking and retain the information + I do not curse too much (I recommend not to curse at all) That’s the end of section 2. [b]Section 3[/b] Now if you think you pass the majority of these tests, go on ahead and PM me your story and I will anonymously give an answer to it in the thread. Good luck!

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