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12/18/2013 5:26:35 PM
25
Pentagon Scraps ‘Lightsaber’ Weapons Program After Gross Misconduct, Numerous Injuries
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[quote]“Even with having the most professional military in the world,” said Pentagon spokesman George Little, “we did not anticipate the unintended consequences. Apparently, when you give soldiers a weapon they’ve dreamed about their entire lives, their intelligence drops to the level of a retarded monkey.”[/quote]Wait...
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The Duffel Blog never fails to make me laugh.
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5 Replies[quote]Apparently, when you give soldiers a weapon they’ve dreamed about their entire lives, their intelligence drops to the level of a retarded monkey.[/quote] LMAO. seriously though, pretty cool that we actually have light sabers. We should just be giving them to err, higher ups instead of everyone. Maybe SEAL teams, or other special operations teams.
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2 RepliesBump just cause this is hilarious.
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1 ReplyMy first thought when I read the title.
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4/10, it made me chuckle
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Edited by Turtlenomad: 12/19/2013 11:53:33 PMThis is just the best thing ever.
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1 ReplyEdited by Enclave Soldier: 12/18/2013 10:06:30 PM
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This is -blam!-ing hilarious thank you:)
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2 RepliesEdited by Capiton Render: 12/18/2013 7:18:50 PM[quote]“Even with having the most professional military in the world,” said Pentagon spokesman George Little, “we did not anticipate the unintended consequences. Apparently, when you give soldiers a weapon they’ve dreamed about their entire lives, their intelligence drops to the level of a retarded monkey.” [/quote] My fucking sides just entered the twelfth dimension, i love that website. lol [quote]Despite being carried on numerous missions, the lightsaber was never once used for its intended purpose. Allegations of detainee abuse have surfaced after special forces raided a suspected IED bomb makers house and threatened to ‘Dooku his ass.’ [/quote]
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1 Reply[quote]Another had his confiscated for sketching sexually explicit images on the side of concrete bunkers and two Marines were arrested for poking lightsaber peep holes into female showers.[/quote] My sides have reached orbit.
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1 Reply[quote]#satire[/quote] ... Still, hilarious none the less.
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Dumbasses
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Read the article, and when i got to the bottom i see some AT-AT Humvee hybrid thing to the left. That is also a hilarious read.
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2 Replies[quote]The final nail in the coffin came when Private Derrick Jones asked a seemingly innocent question. “Dude,” said Jones. “Do you think I could block a bullet?”[/quote]Someone didn't know their Star Wars lore and ended up paying dearly for it, and now we all lose our lightsabers. -blam!-ing dumb grunts...
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God Bless the U.S.A. we've discovered lightsaber XD
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1 Replyduffelblog is way funnier than the unfunnion.
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I just needed the pics. Thanks
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Holy shit, that website is using stolen digital art, and I know the artist. Burn pirates, burn!
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[quote]Allegations of detainee abuse have surfaced after special forces raided a suspected IED bomb makers house and threatened to ‘Dooku his ass.’[/quote] Oh god I laughed so much.
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Thanks for this one :)
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I want a lightsaber so I can specifically say "Is that a lightsaber in my pocket or am I happy to see you?". That article was gold.
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10/10
