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Edited by dazarobbo: 5/20/2013 6:56:42 AM
52

Is it OK for a 15 year old to date an 18 year old?

Because in Florida [url=http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/19/kaitlyn-hunt-florida-teen-felony-same-sex_n_3302713.html]you can be arrested and be charged with "lewd and lascivious battery", and be kicked out of your school[/url] it. What terrible parents. Edit: The pair were dating since the beginning of the school year at which time the girl who was arrested was 17. All parents were aware they were dating. The parents of the other girl pressed charges once she turned 18.

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  • Adolescence is such an odd, exciting, dynamic and terrifying portion of a person's life. To take the growth of maturity (which happens by leaps and bounds that are unique to the individual) and chain it to the numbers 14-18 is well-intentioned, but incredibly flawed. We all know of that special 15 year old who is incredibly mature, responsible and is capable (and in some cases has) assumed duties and roles that many adults would struggle to handle well. We all also know people in their 20's whose personal judgement makes them a danger to themselves. The idea that on the night of your 18th birthday the "maturity fairy" visits your room and endows you with all that you need to be an adult, it's unrealistic. People don't become adults overnight. Personally, I would like to see some sort of civil contract between the parents and the child with various mile-markers and responsibilities that the child has assumed personal responsibility for and gotten the approval of their parents. That way, if a child has spoken with their parents about the fact that they want to be responsible for their own health, education, sexual, financial, or any other portion of their life, the family discusses and collaborates as to whether they agree that the child is capable of assuming personal responsibility for that segment of their life. A scenario would be the kid comes to the parents and says, "Mom, Dad? I've been thinking, and just like I had to get my learners permit and then my driver's license, I would like to take responsibility for making my own health decisions. I've thought about it and I want to be the one who decides if I can have surgery, get piercings, tattoos, ask a doctor for contraception, and so on. Can we talk about you and I signing my sheet so that I am capable of making those decisions for myself?" In that way, the whole family knows what the child is responsible for (and where they have asserted self-determination) and what areas the parents still have a role and responsibility to act in the best interests of the child. If the younger girl in this case had discussed dating and the ability to consent to a sexual relation and gotten her parents consent that she was mature enough to make those decisions for herself, then her age (and the weird thing is that some news orgs are saying she is 15 other are saying that she is 14) isn't relevant. She's asked for personal responsibility, and those who previously had that responsibility have agreed to transfer that decision making over to the adolescent. Just like the mother of the accused has said in interviews. "I just wish that the younger girls parents had contacted me. We could have talked honestly and openly about it, and if they (as the parents of the younger girl) were unhappy, unwilling or unable to support their daughter, I would have counseled my daughter to step back and respect the wishes of the other family."

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