One time, when Mrs Charlie and I lived in a southern San Diego community near the Mexican border, called Chula Vista, something happened. We got into a big fight. The kind of fight you know that if you don't get out of it, things will be said that you will have to deal with for a long, long time. So I did. I out out and went for a drive. We lived in Eastern Chula Vista. Look at a map, but you would see that you can get away from street lights pretty quickly. I drove out to the woods. So, I was driving out there, and I pulled over... just to cool off. I killed the engine and headlights, and thought. It was winter, and it was dark at 7 o'clock in the evening. It was nearer 9pm, and it was fully dark. I sat for what felt like an hour when I heard a noise up in front of my car. I saw an outline moving up ahead. Then several. They were moving as a group, but I could make out individuals. Now, keep in mind, this is the Mexican Border. Illegals cross all the time. That's what I thought it was. Until I hit my headlights... It was like someone had cut out a man-shaped piece of reality. I could see through them, but it was like night still. That was something that haunts me to today... The outlines moving across the road... One stopped. Right at the yellow line. A hole of light opened where its mouth should be, and a noise came out. The other stopped and turned my way. I quickly turned on my engine and pulled a U-turn and drove away. It was like driving in water, and sever of them had caught up and were pacing my car. Eventually I got back to the street lights... and they stopped. They stood at the outline of the light screaming at me. Well, I sped back to my house. Mrs Charlie was still mad at me. When she saw the pale look on my face her argument died in her throat. I yelled for her to grab the cats and go. She grabbed the carriers when the realization dawned on me. The things had seen my car. I called a cab. Best safe. I turned on all the lights and waited for the cab. When it got there I noticed License plate said "fresh" and had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare. But I thought nah, forget it, yo homes to Bel-air!. I pulled up to a house about seven or eight And I yelled to the cabby "Yo, homes smell you later!" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-air

No, because I'm not a -blam!-ing wack-a-doo.