Upon realising how rubbish this story is and how truly pathetic I am at writting, this story has been removed. Please do not post in this thread as it will be waste of your time. I apoligise for wasting valuable server resources.
============================================================
[Edited on 2/23/2005 3:27:29 PM]
-
Yeah tried to fix some more spelling mistakes and reposted it. Un gato I'll re-work Fraya tonight and try to go into some depth with Jacob. You guys severly shot me down didn't you. I didn't think it was so bad for a first attempt at writting in more then 18 months but obvoiusly I was wrong. Maybe I will just start from scratch again tonight and do four or five drafts before I post anything for you guys again. How about I redo it from sctrach un gato, with a much darker more realistic world. [Edited on 2/23/2005 3:13:31 PM]