I just got my first love letter in a while - and as usual it was delivered to me via a 'friend'. To quote the letter:
[quote]My name is Jennifer, I hope you know. [well, I do now - whoever you are] I just wanted to tell you I'm madly in love with you. I miss you so much [miss? I don't even know her], I can't live without you. So I gave this note to my friends to give to you...
[then, in large, bold letters]
I [heart] U!!
Love,
Jennifer
P.S. - If you wanna get to know me better, call me at ***-****, but if you don't like me don't call.
[/quote]
Ah. Teenage love. Such a precious thing. Now here's where the flood comes in - I would like to hold a little brainstorming session to figure out how to most humorously respond to this girl. Anything goes, so long as it's legal.
My first idea: Write a "fill-in-the-blank" official return letter from my "Public Representative" in type. Make it seem long and legal, such as that "he recognizes your interest. If you intend to proceed further please resubmit a resume complete with photo ID, measurements, your interests, goals, and any previous references you may have." Have everything in type except her name, and her place "in line" - which is hand-written in.
Any other ideas welcome.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] ImJustMe You are the crulest person I have ever had the misfortune to meet. I hope you die in animl pheasies. You absolutly sicken me to the core. I dont even belive this. How can anyone like you. You seem like such an ass. A funny ass but an ass none of the less. Which should make women look at you as a level above nothing obseravable.[/quote] Thats a good line to tell her! sorry, i can never resist things like that *hangs head in shame* i have a problem