[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Stole my name Seems very well-written. The story seems acceptable on its own. However, the fact that this is a Fan Fiction actually seems to do more harm than anything else. It interferes with the writing, as you must either follow the canon, limiting your writing, or you must do something that essentially is a punch in the face of the universe your fiction is based upon. Use of existing characters also interferes with it. Your writing style holds up quite well, even following the Halo Universe (Although some things, such as the motive for war seem relatively weak and the Elites seem to follow the beliefs of the Covenant a bit to strongly). If you fixed a few problems and possibly focused more on original characters, you could write an impressive story. -Hoping you don't mind a bit of constructive criticism.[/quote] Well it is better than 99.9 Percent of stuff you see on Fanfiction.net (and other sites). Still great story overall, the start was decent, middle was better but the later parts were excellent. [Edited on 09.25.2010 3:58 PM PDT]