{{
`${userDetail.user.displayName}${userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode ? `#${standardizeBungieGlobalCode(userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode)}` : ""}`}}
{{getUserClans()}}
12/13/2006 1:18:09 AM
109
alpha soilder a halo 3 fanfic
as many of you know i have grammer issues and i'm really stubern but today is a new day meet alpha soilder the newest fan fic.
chapter 1 The Awakening
Tom sat on his cot looked at a teenage girl in the cot across from him she had been hit by a human sniper rifle he remembered that day earlier he was a private actually he was demoted to buck-private. He was sitting on his seat in the pelican when the girl next him cried out in pain three more shots. Came from a human sniper rifle when a brute jumped into the pelican he held the sniper and graped her by her throat and said you humans are worthless and through her. To the ground tom jumped from his seat and shot with his battle rifle his battle rifle had. Three differnt gun settings single fire burst shot and mulity fire he shot with the burst and the brute howled then he ran forward and pulled. Tom up the brute said how dare you hurt me human the rest of the platoon were startled. Tom graped a plasma grenade on the brutes belt and said at least I'm not a big dumb ape then they brute saw only blue from the plsama stuck to his face. Tom kicked the brute over he landed on a banshee now he was here at the medic camp they were headed for New Mombassa but had to pass through. The city Rush Hour named for it's constant traffic but now this large city was a huge battlefield.
what do you think so far i will correct it later sorry it's so short.
[Edited on 12/15/2006]
-
now that I'm back let's get this show on the road again chapter 5 end of the begging part 1of 5 There were two things Tom remembered before the Avenger hit Mars one Mars had air and two someone was firing on them. Now they stood over the remains of the only spacecraft they had they had sent two patrols. No one came back Tom kept hitting his fist against the remains of the ship's hull he cursed for twenty mintues then punch a hole in the hull of course. There was Rnolaee Sartoree he was patting the new gunner armor he was givin his promotion was great but he heard something. It was footsteps but clunky ones then everything went black for him the others saw strange black armored aliens
-
Alpha Soilder 2 chapter 4 what's with the planet Tom was still quite a daze the Elites busy talking to their leader Regret being slapped over and over and Aronia running around scared. Still he felt a bit quesy he blacked out when he woke up he could see a red armored Elite's face against his helmet he could hear the Elite sniffing him. He got up and the Elite doubled back to a defense stance Tom began to speak but the Elite interrupted "I thoght you were dead I am Valtoree Darzee but your human friends call me Scotty what is your name". "Tom"said Tom "nice to meet you" said Scotty "come the others will be waiting at the observation deck". Tom was lead through various corridors up grav lifts and through purple rooms until they reached the observation deck Tom was looking at a big red planet probley Mars. Avery asked Tom how his beauty sleep was Tom quickly shot back "I just passed out and what's wrong with Mars". 343 said "the planet is degrading fast we must hurry to avoid the atmospherical changes. "Why" began Tom 343 said "because the planet has begun to change". now I was busy for most of the weeks i've been away from b.net because i've been working on my screenplay but i promise i'll try to change and edit my spelling better
-
sonic TUE thread misses you COME BACK
-
Why did you stop writing this fanfic? It was the one thing keeping me going throughout the New Year :P :D [/no sarcasm] :P But, honestly, I wanna know what happens to Tom, Cortuna, Gravemind, 2401 and Regret (who no-one really cares about...but he's in a test-tube), Rolonia and this "Scotty" guy.... Go for it dude :D
-
Ok, time out! Your "chapters" are way too short. Sorry, but ten lines does not count as a chapter. They are more like paragraphs than chapters. Your punctuation and spelling is very bad, to be honest. It's very hard to know when someone has started talking and when someone has finished talking. More detail is needed, and I mean A LOT more detail is needed. Try to draw the reader into the scene, and for heaven's sake, slow down and take your time! Every chapter sounds like you just made it up and typed it down while logged on to B.Net. Get a piece of paper, write your ideas down, and progress from there. I also suggest you read more. I would recommend more professional authors, like JRR Tolkien (though, even he might be too advanced for you) or even JK Rowling and the Harry Potter books. Even if you don't like Harry Potter, just reading them could help. But really, it's up to you, read what you want, just not the likes of Playboy, you know? ;) I may sound a bit harsh, but expect to be criticized like that. Take the good with the bad. But keep at it, and no doubt you will improve!
-
HAHAHAHAHAHA, I never laughed so hard in the past few months till I read your comment. This guy's grammar and some of his sentences are a real good laugh too. I feel kind of bad that I'm laughing at the guy...but he doesn't seem to care what people have to say anyway, so.... I really hope this guy is pulling our legs...or is 5 or so years old. If neither were the case I'd probably be a little depressed. It's sad to read things like this when the guy is obviously putting effort (maybe heart and soul too) into this. [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] x Foman123 x I hope that the final chapter of this amazing novella, [i]Alpha Soil-der[/i] is followed by other great literary works from the mind of Ganon, like [i]Beta Soil-der[/i] and [i]The grunt was tiny he had on some armor it was heavy the spartan made his boots hammer the tree[/i]. Please continue to fill up Bungie's disk space! You are amazing![/quote] [Edited on 1/9/2007]
-
yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!
-
yo chapter 3 is ready alpha soilder 2 chapter 3 Beam me up scotty The cruiser held it's position above the group Anbo Aronia Portus The Aribiter and Rolonia were trying to gain access yelling commands at the Sargeants. Meanwhile 343 was conversing with the prophet of Regret he kept going on about the great journey Tom didn't understand what they were saying. Tom was tired of waiting though he walked up to the gravlift and said "Beam me up Scotty". Soon purple light enshrouded him the next thing he knew he was standing infront of 50 armed Elites Anbo was giving commands out Portus was lying on the ground well his brother Aronia. Tried to get him up he was beating him with his Assualt Rifle now Rolonia was busy getting promoted then the hum of slipspace was going on they would be there soon. Well waiting until chapter 15 is done to get to see Alpha Soilder 3 won't be so bad
-
lmao so true...
-
Ganon, I have been waiting and waiting for the next installment of "Alpha Soil-der." This is the happiest day of my life, and I hope that this sequel can compare to the original in all of its single-sentence, grammar-free glory.
-
ok ganon, i think yuor story has some potential, but i dont even know what your talking about. so i have decided to give myself a project to work on. im gonna take each one of your chapters and edit so i can know wtf ur talking about. i dont guarantee that ill succeed, because some of your story is just unfixable. im sorry but thats just the way it is [Edited on 12/30/2006]
-
lol ganon dude your a god never ever take the pills your doctor has given you
-
I think it's just killed any love I had..
-
Alpha soilder 2 Ch 2 the journey to Reach After beatings and pleading from the few demutated forerunners they decided to head out to Reach not saying why leaveing Portus Aronia Anbo and Rolonia to serach the human and Covenant alliance. Battle net for a ship during that time Tom was planning his rescue mission for lexxi. Master Chief Avery Cortuna and the Aribiter were deciding a way to make Tom alittle happier. But they had no idea of how to 2401 from installation 05 and Regret no one really cared about him. Was happy to be away from the Gravemind but Regret was stuck in a giant test tube when Rolonia. Found a spaceship that was coming straight to them it was the Avenger. what do you think of alpha soilder 2 [Edited on 12/30/2006]
-
Oh God.. not more...
-
Alpha soilder 2 chapter 1 capture Tom noticed something on the large console it began to set alarms off the Gravemind began to rise adn started to laugh and in his angry voice the Gravemind said "we will continue to live on to Reach" he said. But just to keep you interested he said he grabed Lexxi and said "she is coming with me and soon a huge monstor flood craft took him to Reach busy the moniter looked in distress as he said " the flood are alive still this is most unsettling let's take the emaergancy craft to Reach. Sadley it is in Russia and we need the clearance codes from the Pyramids quickley we must head there when twenty armored humans came into the room. The lead human took one look at the moniter and knew where he was he was home he raised his hand and said " Forerunners we are home at last". It's chapter 1 get ready for an awesome sequal
-
Er......
-
alpha soilder 2 will carry over to a new kinda of story but it will still be in halo 3 it will be a trilogy [Edited on 12/15/2006]
-
[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] El_Duderino A masterpiece of modern literature. Clearly an homage to Faulkner's 'The Sound and the Fury' In Ganon2, we have the savior of Western Literature. Write on my friend, Write on[/quote] Nay, my friend, I must disagree. The subtle subtexts of this contoured piece evoke much more of the stylings of the character William of Baskerville in [i]The Name of the Rose[/i]. The display of literary erudition in this piece is also typical of the [i]Name of the Rose[/i]'s author,Umberto Eco. We have brilliance incarnate here - or actually more like brilliance in-internet.
-
Yay! It's not ending!! [/sarcasm]
-
A masterpiece of modern literature. Clearly an homage to Faulkner's 'The Sound and the Fury' In Ganon2, we have the savior of Western Literature. Write on my friend, Write on
-
AMAZING. i am crying. or am i lauging hysterically? Either way, it is a direct result of your writing skill.
-
chapter 25 Just the beginning Cortana said Master Chief she wasn't listening the creature laughed I am the Gravemind how could you be so foolish to lead me to this place. It is over 5 minutes to go said 343 Tartarus made a last attack and hit Lexxi her bones. Were crushed by the hammer and she was sent flying to. The other side of the viewing chamber she hit the edge hard and many cracks of bones followed her landing. Tom reactivated his sword and attacked Tartarus Tom sliced him in half he then focused his attack on the Gravemind he cut the Gravemind in the head and freed Cortana she turned back to normal once out of his grasp. His blood did something werid to the blue light it changed it to a green light Tom ran to Lexxi's side. She had taken massive injury to every bone in her body but she managed a few last words I....don't want ...........to.......die she said "you won't" Tom assured her "and that's a promise he" said. She passed out with a few last words "don't.............let..............m m m me........become...............one..........of.........t t t t th th the the the them" she said. Then the Ark activated when the light stoped they were all still there the gravemind was toppled on the platform Guilty Spark said "fascinating" what do you mean holy Orcale said the Arbiter it seems the Ark has changed it now is returning to normal said Guilty Sparks "what" said Cortana it has changed to killing. Flood but has returned to normal but a large portion of flood is left on Threshold said Guilty Spark also it is ''communicating'' with what said Tom pulling Lexxi's body from the ground something on Reach. Is it over is it just starting if you picked the last one your right wait till next time also each chapter will get a name now [Edited on 12/15/2006]
-
I hope that the final chapter of this amazing novella, [i]Alpha Soil-der[/i] is followed by other great literary works from the mind of Ganon, like [i]Beta Soil-der[/i] and [i]The grunt was tiny he had on some armor it was heavy the spartan made his boots hammer the tree[/i]. Please continue to fill up Bungie's disk space! You are amazing!
-
[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Toolio this is my favorite fan fic [/quote] [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=9417529]That made mine sad man...[/url]
-
this is my favorite fan fic
