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11/20/2012 5:12:40 AM
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Thoughts on Self Abuse (Cutting, burning, etc.)
What are the Flood's thoughts on self abuse? This can include any self-destructive behaviour, such as cutting, burning, vomiting, starving, etc.
Just curious as to what others think.
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Humanity is the only species I know of that will purposely hurt themselves. People that do it usually do not have the tools to deal with a problem in their life, and they were left emotionally scarred. It happens to more people then you think, and it is very counter productive. People try to match the emotional pain with physical pain, and it just leaves you still in the shape that you are in, but now the pain is showing physically. If you are cutting yourself, or any other form of self abuse, you need to go talk to a friend, Counselor (They legally cannot share info with other people, or any other trusted adults.
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It's illogical to come to terms that one would hurt themselves, because someone hurt them. Seems a little dumb. The fact that it is seen in many places in our media makes it prevalent in our society. I don't hear about kids causing self-harm in anywhere other than America. I maybe wrong, but that is what it seems.
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Whatever makes them happy.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] RedXRulez Self-abuse. The only possible way you can understand why people harm themselves is if [i]you're one of those people.[/i] Otherwise, the practice of Self-abuse seems dangerous, selfish, and suicidal. Anyone care to debate my point?[/quote] Nope, you're absolutely right on all accounts.
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Such behavior is for pansy ass nerds.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Psychotic Undead See, misconceptions and improper assumptions are the biggest issues that occur during the whole communication process. They assume too much, or the wrong things, and don't hear the real problem even when they're basically being told what it is.[/quote] Yes, that is why it is important to be very clear in what you tell them as well as tell them exactly what you need help with and what the problem is. Leave as little room for assumption as possible, lest you risk misinterpretation. Well, this has been very helpful. I would like to thank the denizens of the Flood for being so helpful and civilized. Just talking about it really helps out a lot.
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if that's how you deal with your emotions then that's fine by me. though it would be better for you to talk to someone who can help.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Rotagila88 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Psychotic Undead [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Rotagila88 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Psychotic Undead I know what you mean...I never did it for emotional reasons, but i've had enough experience with how overwhelming feelings can be to know why it would be difficult to quit. Personally, I think the first step down a better road is just accepting whatever is causing the emotions, and then finding someone you trust to talk to about them. Even that little bit can go a long way sometimes.[/quote] Yes, talking to people you trust is most definitely beneficial. You just have to make sure that they understand what's happening and why they are happening. Accepting things takes time, though. It's one of those things that can't be rushed.[/quote]That can be the difficult part at times...well, both of those things. Even the people you trust might not always understand you or your situation, so you'd have to be careful about that. And acceptance is another deal entirely, but it's perfectly achievable for everyone. And on a site note, i'm actually pleasantly surprised by this thread. It isn't full of idiots spewing the word "emo" with every post, nor much flaming.[/quote] Yes, you must be careful when dealing with this subject. A lot of the times people will assume you're suicidal and try to work backwards from there instead of helping what is causing the problem. But if you have good friends by your side, it definitely makes the whole process easier. Besides, as evidenced by this thread, people have a way of surprising you.[/quote]See, misconceptions and improper assumptions are the biggest issues that occur during the whole communication process. They assume too much, or the wrong things, and don't hear the real problem even when they're basically being told what it is.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] paradox954 I don't really support self harm at all. Which is particularly hypocritical of me because I often do it, to the point where it is now an addiction. I don't exaggerate it; if I were to describe it to anybody one of the first words out of my mouth would be 'addiction'. I get withdrawals if I don't self harm even for a day. At about 11 PM, I start getting noticeably agitated, the scars start to literally burn and I feel the need to rub them constantly. It happens in public and often when I attend school. With no way to control it I would bite my arms a lot and my friends would often ask why I bite my own arms. I starved myself for sometimes 2-3 days. I frequently squeeze ice in my hands, punch myself, experiments... The list goes on. Be careful, OP. You really, really do not want to go down this path. I started out like you but it took over my entire life. I've now just recently started to get major help.[/quote] Neither do I, in part do to my belief in pacifism ([i]the hypocrisy, the hypocrisy![/i]). I understand what you're saying about addiction. Often times when I'm in school I have to rub the cuts or hit them to ease the withdrawal. Bottom line, it sucks. I know where this road leads, as I've seen the end product. Also a note: if you want to help someone that is abusing themselves, be very, [i]very[/i] careful not to hurt them any more emotionally, as that can just make them infinitely worse and it makes you feel like -blam!-. Pretty much what got me in this whole mess, trying to help someone.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Psychotic Undead [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Rotagila88 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Psychotic Undead I know what you mean...I never did it for emotional reasons, but i've had enough experience with how overwhelming feelings can be to know why it would be difficult to quit. Personally, I think the first step down a better road is just accepting whatever is causing the emotions, and then finding someone you trust to talk to about them. Even that little bit can go a long way sometimes.[/quote] Yes, talking to people you trust is most definitely beneficial. You just have to make sure that they understand what's happening and why they are happening. Accepting things takes time, though. It's one of those things that can't be rushed.[/quote]That can be the difficult part at times...well, both of those things. Even the people you trust might not always understand you or your situation, so you'd have to be careful about that. And acceptance is another deal entirely, but it's perfectly achievable for everyone. And on a site note, i'm actually pleasantly surprised by this thread. It isn't full of idiots spewing the word "emo" with every post, nor much flaming.[/quote] Yes, you must be careful when dealing with this subject. A lot of the times people will assume you're suicidal and try to work backwards from there instead of helping what is causing the problem. But if you have good friends by your side, it definitely makes the whole process easier. Besides, as evidenced by this thread, people have a way of surprising you.
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Just people who don't know how to actually handle problems.
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. [Edited on 11.19.2012 9:59 PM PST]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] The 7th Taco I feel bad for people who feel the need to do such things to themselves. Everyone has bad days, some more than others, and at times it certainly can seem like an endless cycle of negativity, so I can definitely understand why they see hurting themselves would make he/she "relieved" to see the pain be physical. It's just a way we get sometimes, everyone will experience some form of depression in their lives, and it's their choice on how they want to deal with it, however, I strongly advise not doing these things. It's not worth it. You did nothing wrong, and you don't deserve the hard time you're going through, but don't get the image in your head that life should be so easy. It's not, and life plays by no rules. If you're unlucky enough to be backed into a corner in your life where you feel self harm is the only way to help you in some way, then you need to realize that you still have control. You don't have to sit there cutting yourself feeling as though it's right. It's not. Kick life's ass. Just remember that putting on a damn smile and doing something productive is fighting your depression. If you want to surrender to such things, go ahead. But just remember that you can easily just hop on the Flood and laugh at some funny posts to take away some of your stress. It's better than taking a knife to your wrists and losing an emotional battle with yourself. What do you do when life gives you lemons...? [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELkgiJD9KuM]You burn some houses down.[/url][/quote] Yeah, but sometimes it is your fault and the consequences are horrible. I'm not trying to justify myself...just saying that some people deserve to be punished. But! There is always tomorrow, always a future ahead. So yeah, have a laugh! Burn some houses down! (Okay, don't do that...just enjoy life in a [i]legal[/i] manor, preferably sans maniacal laughter)
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I don't really support self harm at all. Which is particularly hypocritical of me because I often do it, to the point where it is now an addiction. I don't exaggerate it; if I were to describe it to anybody one of the first words out of my mouth would be 'addiction'. I get withdrawals if I don't self harm even for a day. At about 11 PM, I start getting noticeably agitated, the scars start to literally burn and I feel the need to rub them constantly. It happens in public and often when I attend school. With no way to control it I would bite my arms a lot and my friends would often ask why I bite my own arms. I starved myself for sometimes 2-3 days. I frequently squeeze ice in my hands, punch myself, experiments... The list goes on. Be careful, OP. You really, really do not want to go down this path. I started out like you but it took over my entire life. I've now just recently started to get major help.
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Self-abuse. The only possible way you can understand why people harm themselves is if [i]you're one of those people.[/i] Otherwise, the practice of Self-abuse seems dangerous, selfish, and suicidal. Anyone care to debate my point?
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Rotagila88 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Psychotic Undead I know what you mean...I never did it for emotional reasons, but i've had enough experience with how overwhelming feelings can be to know why it would be difficult to quit. Personally, I think the first step down a better road is just accepting whatever is causing the emotions, and then finding someone you trust to talk to about them. Even that little bit can go a long way sometimes.[/quote] Yes, talking to people you trust is most definitely beneficial. You just have to make sure that they understand what's happening and why they are happening. Accepting things takes time, though. It's one of those things that can't be rushed.[/quote]That can be the difficult part at times...well, both of those things. Even the people you trust might not always understand you or your situation, so you'd have to be careful about that. And acceptance is another deal entirely, but it's perfectly achievable for everyone. And on a site note, i'm actually pleasantly surprised by this thread. It isn't full of idiots spewing the word "emo" with every post, nor much flaming.
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I feel bad for people who feel the need to do such things to themselves. Everyone has bad days, some more than others, and at times it certainly can seem like an endless cycle of negativity, so I can definitely understand why they see hurting themselves would make he/she "relieved" to see the pain be physical. It's just a way we get sometimes, everyone will experience some form of depression in their lives, and it's their choice on how they want to deal with it, however, I strongly advise not doing these things. It's not worth it. You did nothing wrong, and you don't deserve the hard time you're going through, but don't get the image in your head that life should be so easy. It's not, and life plays by no rules. If you're unlucky enough to be backed into a corner in your life where you feel self harm is the only way to help you in some way, then you need to realize that you still have control. You don't have to sit there cutting yourself feeling as though it's right. It's not. Kick life's ass. Just remember that putting on a damn smile and doing something productive is fighting your depression. If you want to surrender to such things, go ahead. But just remember that you can easily just hop on the Flood and laugh at some funny posts to take away some of your stress. It's better than taking a knife to your wrists and losing an emotional battle with yourself. What do you do when life gives you lemons...? [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELkgiJD9KuM]You burn some houses down.[/url]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Good News Not fine at all. People who do it are sick and need to turn their life around.[/quote]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] COLONELSANDERSW I'm cornfused at why anyone would want to put themselves in pain. I for one do not enjoy pain so I stay out of it as much as I can. WHY would you hurt yourself seriously. How does that make it feel better? Get over it![/quote] Let me enlighten you. As with most people, I do not enjoy pain. But for me, the burden of guilt is overwhelming. So I punish myself and try to forget the bad things I've done. Just my perspective on the whole thing.
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It's wrong, there are other, more constructive ways to deal with whatever it is that causes someone to abuse themselves.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Psychotic Undead I know what you mean...I never did it for emotional reasons, but i've had enough experience with how overwhelming feelings can be to know why it would be difficult to quit. Personally, I think the first step down a better road is just accepting whatever is causing the emotions, and then finding someone you trust to talk to about them. Even that little bit can go a long way sometimes.[/quote] Yes, talking to people you trust is most definitely beneficial. You just have to make sure that they understand what's happening and why they are happening. Accepting things takes time, though. It's one of those things that can't be rushed.
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3 reasons people do it: 1. to divert emotional/mental pain by causing physical pain 2. pleasure (masochists) 3. boredom Any one is negligible unless it becomes a habit (which it often does), which is both unhealthy for you and for those around you. Many places consider you to be a harmful threat to others if you are able to harm yourself. All 3 cases can be considered psychological disorders as well. This just encompasses those particulars though. There are other activities (mainly sports) where people willingly participate in various degrees of self abuse. [Edited on 11.19.2012 9:43 PM PST]
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People who do it should seek help, rather than inflicting self-harm. [Edited on 11.19.2012 9:41 PM PST]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] spagheeett [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Rotagila88 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Psychotic Undead [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Rotagila88 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Psychotic Undead Fine in moderation. Unfit for the mentally and emotionally unstable.[/quote] Interesting thought. Care to elaborate?[/quote]Well, it's simple. I used to cut for the enjoyment of the pain, which is fine. I never did it deep or consistently enough to cause any serious injuries that could endanger my life, I was always sanitary with the wounds and the knives i'd use, and I always gave myself enough time to heal properly. End result, I was never in real danger, and I had another small recreational activity for when I felt like doing it.[/quote] Ah, okay. Yeah, I understand where you're coming from. I pretty much do the same thing, except more as punishment than anything. Helps ease the burden of guilt, I find.[/quote] Punishing yourself by harming yourself is never going to solve anything, and its never going to get better unless you completely forgive yourself for whatever you did and realize life is life and move on. Im saying this because actually announcing you cut yourself over a death you blame yourself for on the flood seams like a cry for help. [/quote] You're right, it doesn't solve anything. However, it is better than killing yourself for the simple fact that there is always an opportunity to get better. Those things take time, though, especially forgiving yourself.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Rotagila88 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Psychotic Undead [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Rotagila88 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] petitminou It's difficult to understand the appeal of it because I've never done it.[/quote] Perfectly understandable. Maybe my own little anecdote can serve to give you some understanding behind the mentality. I cut myself, a lot, because of guilt involving the loss of someone I loved. It was entirely my fault and completely preventable. Instead of turning my anger outwards towards other people, I hurt myself. Hope that gives you some insight.[/quote]See, now, i'm not criticizing you or anything, but your situation is the type I wouldn't support such practices with. People who do it for emotional reasons are more likely to accidentally take it too far if they're having a bad day or something.[/quote] Oh I completely agree with you. Just that emotions can be rather overwhelming at times. I fully believe that people doing this should get help as soon as possible, before they accidentally hurt themselves or someone around them.[/quote]I know what you mean...I never did it for emotional reasons, but i've had enough experience with how overwhelming feelings can be to know why it would be difficult to quit. Personally, I think the first step down a better road is just accepting whatever is causing the emotions, and then finding someone you trust to talk to about them. Even that little bit can go a long way sometimes.
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I'm cornfused at why anyone would want to put themselves in pain. I for one do not enjoy pain so I stay out of it as much as I can. WHY would you hurt yourself seriously. How does that make it feel better? Get over it!
