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8/19/2012 3:47:05 PM
239
Who's in the right? Me or my mother?
So, not too long ago, I decided to have a pizza for lunch. I retrieved the pizza from the freezer. I put it next to the chopping board (I like peppers on my pizza). I started to dice some green peppers when my mother walks in and turns the oven on. She then said, "Hurry up 'cus the oven's on". I chuckled and said, "Well turn the oven off then". So she then responded, "Just hurry the hell up or stop being so -blam!- lazy and turn it off yourself".
I turned to her with an expression mixed between anger and confusion. I asked her what the hell was with the attitude. She shouted at me and told me not to speak to her like that. I told her to drop the damned attitude and I wouldn't. She picked up my frozen pizza, put it back in the freezer and said, "If you want pizza you can buy your own". I carried on chopping my peppers and a few minutes later she came back with the pizza and stood next to me. I turned to her and asked what she wanted. "What? I don't get a thank you for bringing you the pizza back?" was her response. I scoffed and said, "Sorry, I didn't realise I'm supposed to be grateful when you act your age".
I put my pizza in the oven with the added peppers and sat down in the living room. Another few minutes passed and she walked in and said, "No matter what we argue about, you shouldn't talk to me like that. I'm your mother". I told her, "You may be the reason I'm here, but I'm not going to inherently respect you. I am grateful for what I have but it doesn't mean I respect you at all. You argue with me, dad and gan-gan; it isn't us. You make your own stress and anger. Lose the attitude, calm the hell down and then I'll show you the respect you want".
So Flood, whose side are you on?
[Edited on 08.19.2012 8:00 AM PDT]
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Let me just leave you all with one additional thought: There is absolutely a time in everybody's life where they are entitled to judge their parents as a peer and criticize every irritating personality trait and every choice they've made. That time is not while they are living under the roof, eating the food, and enjoying any other benefits that are provided for them. [Edited on 08.19.2012 9:23 AM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Big Black Bear [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Big Black Bear [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight I don't respect my mother because she's pretentious, immature, condescending and egotistical.[/quote]Again, I find your use of these words quite ironic. "Those who live in glass houses sould not throw stones."[/quote] The fact you know practically nothing of me yet are making such solid assumptions would point to you being at least condescending... [/quote]I would have thought it was obvious that my comments were based solely on my observations from this thread. And please, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't "making solid sassumptions" exactly what you were asking all of us to do in this thread? It sounds to me that you simply do not like the conclusion I've come to because it differs from the one you were hoping for.[/quote] Yes. That's what I was asking. I just wanted a judgement on the situation. I don't want people judging my personality based on one, negatively charged emotional situation.[/quote]Why not? You still stand by your actions and claim to be right.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Big Black Bear Let me just leave you all with one additional thought: There is absolutely a time in everybody's life where they are entitled to judge their parents as a peer and criticize every irritating personality trait and every choice they've made. That time is not while they are living under the roof, eating the food, and enjoying any other benefits that are provided for them.[/quote] If my mother is willing to slate and condescend me so readily, I'll judge her how I please. As I have said several times now, I have the utmost gratitude. I find it very hard not to judge someone like her.
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Your mom. Most definitely. You must respect your parents authority and speak in a mature, albeit controlled, manner. [Edited on 08.19.2012 12:59 PM PDT]
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Seems like you have quite an attitude problem OP. I can understand outbursts when you get mad, but an outburst shouldnt last longer then an instant. If you drag it on and fuel the flames then you have a problem. [Edited on 08.19.2012 9:28 AM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Big Black Bear Let me just leave you all with one additional thought: There is absolutely a time in everybody's life where they are entitled to judge their parents as a peer and criticize every irritating personality trait and every choice they've made. That time is not while they are living under the roof, eating the food, and enjoying any other benefits that are provided for them.[/quote] Probably the only worthwhile post BBB has made. Wise words. You aren't on their level, you haven't been on both sides of the fence. These people have, you've only been a teen so far.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Jimmy Rustler [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Big Black Bear Let me just leave you all with one additional thought: There is absolutely a time in everybody's life where they are entitled to judge their parents as a peer and criticize every irritating personality trait and every choice they've made. That time is not while they are living under the roof, eating the food, and enjoying any other benefits that are provided for them.[/quote] Probably the only worthwhile post BBB has made. Wise words. You aren't on their level, you haven't been on both sides of the fence. These people have, you've only been a teen so far. [/quote] I totally understand that. I and I do think to myself that I should make more of an effort to tread lightly with my mother and God knows I hold out as long as I can. But she too was a teenager, she understands totally what its like. It's irritating when I am making an effort and she isn't. Whether I'm a teenager or not, there's only so much crap I can take before I snap and lose my respect.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] sims3k Seems like you have quite an attitude problem OP. I can understand outbursts when you get mad, but an outburst shouldnt last longer then an instant. If you drag it on and fuel the flames then you have a problem.[/quote] I would argue that I didn't drag it on. The final paragraph was spoken calmy and reservedly. All I wanted to do then, and every other time, was make her see where I was coming from. But she just doesn't want to hear it and that aggravates me beyond words.
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This isn't a blog forum. However your Mom seems like an Ass.
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I think your mum started it but you shouldn't have talked back.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] sims3k Seems like you have quite an attitude problem OP. I can understand outbursts when you get mad, but an outburst shouldnt last longer then an instant. If you drag it on and fuel the flames then you have a problem.[/quote] I would argue that I didn't drag it on. The final paragraph was spoken calmy and reservedly. All I wanted to do then, and every other time, was make her see where I was coming from. But she just doesn't want to hear it and that aggravates me beyond words.[/quote] You told her to act her age. You treated her like second rate nobody when you told her the only way you would respect her is if she followed your orders. All of this happened after the initial arguement was over. If you cant say anything positive, dont say anything at all. You should have just grit your teeth and accepted the pizza off her. She obviously felt bad and gave it back to you for a reason. I know giving out advice over the internet is easy, so im not telling you your outwright wrong. I have problems similar to yours but with my father. And in the heat of the moment it really is hard to judge whats the right reactions and responses. Pride does get in the way too. Anyways ive rambled enough. Peace out OP
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Your mother. While she did start the whole predicament, you just kept fanning the flames rather than swallow your pride and leave it alone. I understand your lack of "respect" for your mother (I've had similar issues with my own) but I think you've come to the point that you just want her to be a subordinate for your every whim. Subordination/compliance=/=respect. Respect is a two way street. The fact that your mother brought the pizza back shows that your mother is willing to walk it. Now it's your turn.
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Your mom's. She's right, you shouldn't speak to her like that. All she said was hurry up, I don't see how that's an attitude. [Edited on 08.19.2012 9:47 AM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] erikinax1 Your mom's. She's right, you shouldn't speak to her like that. All she said was hurry up, I don't see how that's an attitude.[/quote] No. She had an attitude after I told her to turn the oven off.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] MickelPickel Your mother. While she did start the whole predicament, you just kept fanning the flames rather than swallow your pride and leave it alone. I understand your lack of "respect" for your mother (I've had similar issues with my own) but I think you've come to the point that you just want her to be a subordinate for your every whim. Subordination/compliance=/=respect. Respect is a two way street. The fact that your mother brought the pizza back shows that your mother is willing to walk it. Now it's your turn.[/quote] It's what she said that annoyed me. She expected an apology and gratitude for rectifying a juvenile act.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] erikinax1 Your mom's. She's right, you shouldn't speak to her like that. All she said was hurry up, I don't see how that's an attitude.[/quote] No. She had an attitude after I told her to turn the oven off.[/quote]K.
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I'm on your side OP, she wasn't being logical at all. [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] The U2 RoKKeR Wrong. Your mother is your mother. Respect your parents. They have given you EVERYTHING, and will continue to do so until you can live on your own without their help. Show some damned respect, even if they are having a bad day.[/quote] But this is also true.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Bootster I'm on your side OP, she wasn't being logical at all. [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] The U2 RoKKeR Wrong. Your mother is your mother. Respect your parents. They have given you EVERYTHING, and will continue to do so until you can live on your own without their help. Show some damned respect, even if they are having a bad day.[/quote] But this is also true.[/quote] Again, gratitude and respect are totally different in my mind.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] The U2 RoKKeR [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight "You may be the reason I'm here, but I'm not going to inherently respect you.[/quote] Wrong. Your mother is your mother. Respect your parents. They have given you EVERYTHING, and will continue to do so until you can live on your own without their help. Show some damned respect, even if they are having a bad day.[/quote]
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Wish my mom gave me a fuel efficient hummer. [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] The U2 RoKKeR [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight "You may be the reason I'm here, but I'm not going to inherently respect you.[/quote] Wrong. Your mother is your mother. Respect your parents. They have given you EVERYTHING, and will continue to do so until you can live on your own without their help. Show some damned respect, even if they are having a bad day.[/quote]
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From experience, most women will get mad at everyone around them when they're mad at one thing, even if those people did nothing to them. She could apologize for initially being mad at you, but you should apologize for talking to your one and only mother like that.
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Sounds like you're both in the wrong to me. She may have acted childishly but your response was just as bad.
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You were rude and sarcastic from the beginning. "Well turn the oven off"--seriously? She's not your friend. Next time say "Alright I'll work fast". Unless your parents are hurting you, you should respect them at all times--even when they are yelling at you or acting childish. There's no reason for you to be rude to them, especially over something as stupid as this. You should apologize. [Edited on 08.19.2012 10:44 AM PDT]
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sounds like she was in the wrong
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] erikinax1 Your mom's. She's right, you shouldn't speak to her like that. All she said was hurry up, I don't see how that's an attitude.[/quote] No. She had an attitude after I told her to turn the oven off. [/quote] Because it was rude and disrespectful with the way you said it. If you wanted to take your time, you should have said "I want to add a little more to the pizza can I turn off until I'm done?" Really OP. It's not like she was forcing you to do something you were uncomfortable with or was endangering your safety. She asked you to do something, and you were sarcastic about it. She did nothing wrong. Kids these days think they own their parents. If that was my mom and I was your age (assuming you're still young) I'd have gotten a smack and never talked to her like that again. [Edited on 08.19.2012 10:48 AM PDT]
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Anyone who thinks the mom was wrong is going to be a bad parent. OPs behavior was simply unacceptable from the beginning. A child should never talk that way to a parent. [Edited on 08.19.2012 10:50 AM PDT]
