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8/19/2012 3:47:05 PM
239
Who's in the right? Me or my mother?
So, not too long ago, I decided to have a pizza for lunch. I retrieved the pizza from the freezer. I put it next to the chopping board (I like peppers on my pizza). I started to dice some green peppers when my mother walks in and turns the oven on. She then said, "Hurry up 'cus the oven's on". I chuckled and said, "Well turn the oven off then". So she then responded, "Just hurry the hell up or stop being so -blam!- lazy and turn it off yourself".
I turned to her with an expression mixed between anger and confusion. I asked her what the hell was with the attitude. She shouted at me and told me not to speak to her like that. I told her to drop the damned attitude and I wouldn't. She picked up my frozen pizza, put it back in the freezer and said, "If you want pizza you can buy your own". I carried on chopping my peppers and a few minutes later she came back with the pizza and stood next to me. I turned to her and asked what she wanted. "What? I don't get a thank you for bringing you the pizza back?" was her response. I scoffed and said, "Sorry, I didn't realise I'm supposed to be grateful when you act your age".
I put my pizza in the oven with the added peppers and sat down in the living room. Another few minutes passed and she walked in and said, "No matter what we argue about, you shouldn't talk to me like that. I'm your mother". I told her, "You may be the reason I'm here, but I'm not going to inherently respect you. I am grateful for what I have but it doesn't mean I respect you at all. You argue with me, dad and gan-gan; it isn't us. You make your own stress and anger. Lose the attitude, calm the hell down and then I'll show you the respect you want".
So Flood, whose side are you on?
[Edited on 08.19.2012 8:00 AM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] erikinax1 Your mom's. She's right, you shouldn't speak to her like that. All she said was hurry up, I don't see how that's an attitude.[/quote] No. She had an attitude after I told her to turn the oven off.
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Your mom's. She's right, you shouldn't speak to her like that. All she said was hurry up, I don't see how that's an attitude. [Edited on 08.19.2012 9:47 AM PDT]
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Your mother. While she did start the whole predicament, you just kept fanning the flames rather than swallow your pride and leave it alone. I understand your lack of "respect" for your mother (I've had similar issues with my own) but I think you've come to the point that you just want her to be a subordinate for your every whim. Subordination/compliance=/=respect. Respect is a two way street. The fact that your mother brought the pizza back shows that your mother is willing to walk it. Now it's your turn.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] sims3k Seems like you have quite an attitude problem OP. I can understand outbursts when you get mad, but an outburst shouldnt last longer then an instant. If you drag it on and fuel the flames then you have a problem.[/quote] I would argue that I didn't drag it on. The final paragraph was spoken calmy and reservedly. All I wanted to do then, and every other time, was make her see where I was coming from. But she just doesn't want to hear it and that aggravates me beyond words.[/quote] You told her to act her age. You treated her like second rate nobody when you told her the only way you would respect her is if she followed your orders. All of this happened after the initial arguement was over. If you cant say anything positive, dont say anything at all. You should have just grit your teeth and accepted the pizza off her. She obviously felt bad and gave it back to you for a reason. I know giving out advice over the internet is easy, so im not telling you your outwright wrong. I have problems similar to yours but with my father. And in the heat of the moment it really is hard to judge whats the right reactions and responses. Pride does get in the way too. Anyways ive rambled enough. Peace out OP
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I think your mum started it but you shouldn't have talked back.
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This isn't a blog forum. However your Mom seems like an Ass.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] sims3k Seems like you have quite an attitude problem OP. I can understand outbursts when you get mad, but an outburst shouldnt last longer then an instant. If you drag it on and fuel the flames then you have a problem.[/quote] I would argue that I didn't drag it on. The final paragraph was spoken calmy and reservedly. All I wanted to do then, and every other time, was make her see where I was coming from. But she just doesn't want to hear it and that aggravates me beyond words.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Jimmy Rustler [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Big Black Bear Let me just leave you all with one additional thought: There is absolutely a time in everybody's life where they are entitled to judge their parents as a peer and criticize every irritating personality trait and every choice they've made. That time is not while they are living under the roof, eating the food, and enjoying any other benefits that are provided for them.[/quote] Probably the only worthwhile post BBB has made. Wise words. You aren't on their level, you haven't been on both sides of the fence. These people have, you've only been a teen so far. [/quote] I totally understand that. I and I do think to myself that I should make more of an effort to tread lightly with my mother and God knows I hold out as long as I can. But she too was a teenager, she understands totally what its like. It's irritating when I am making an effort and she isn't. Whether I'm a teenager or not, there's only so much crap I can take before I snap and lose my respect.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Big Black Bear Let me just leave you all with one additional thought: There is absolutely a time in everybody's life where they are entitled to judge their parents as a peer and criticize every irritating personality trait and every choice they've made. That time is not while they are living under the roof, eating the food, and enjoying any other benefits that are provided for them.[/quote] Probably the only worthwhile post BBB has made. Wise words. You aren't on their level, you haven't been on both sides of the fence. These people have, you've only been a teen so far.
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Seems like you have quite an attitude problem OP. I can understand outbursts when you get mad, but an outburst shouldnt last longer then an instant. If you drag it on and fuel the flames then you have a problem. [Edited on 08.19.2012 9:28 AM PDT]
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Your mom. Most definitely. You must respect your parents authority and speak in a mature, albeit controlled, manner. [Edited on 08.19.2012 12:59 PM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Big Black Bear Let me just leave you all with one additional thought: There is absolutely a time in everybody's life where they are entitled to judge their parents as a peer and criticize every irritating personality trait and every choice they've made. That time is not while they are living under the roof, eating the food, and enjoying any other benefits that are provided for them.[/quote] If my mother is willing to slate and condescend me so readily, I'll judge her how I please. As I have said several times now, I have the utmost gratitude. I find it very hard not to judge someone like her.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Big Black Bear [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Big Black Bear [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight I don't respect my mother because she's pretentious, immature, condescending and egotistical.[/quote]Again, I find your use of these words quite ironic. "Those who live in glass houses sould not throw stones."[/quote] The fact you know practically nothing of me yet are making such solid assumptions would point to you being at least condescending... [/quote]I would have thought it was obvious that my comments were based solely on my observations from this thread. And please, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't "making solid sassumptions" exactly what you were asking all of us to do in this thread? It sounds to me that you simply do not like the conclusion I've come to because it differs from the one you were hoping for.[/quote] Yes. That's what I was asking. I just wanted a judgement on the situation. I don't want people judging my personality based on one, negatively charged emotional situation.[/quote]Why not? You still stand by your actions and claim to be right.
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Let me just leave you all with one additional thought: There is absolutely a time in everybody's life where they are entitled to judge their parents as a peer and criticize every irritating personality trait and every choice they've made. That time is not while they are living under the roof, eating the food, and enjoying any other benefits that are provided for them. [Edited on 08.19.2012 9:23 AM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight Oh trust me I hold my tongue. Even when she can see I'm becoming irritated she will keep on pushing. It's not like she's doing it purposely to work me up, she's just incapable of realising what she's doing wrong. No matter how much I tell her, no matter how many arguments we get into, she refuses to acknowledge her mistakes.[/quote]God, can i relate to that.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Jimmy Rustler Get off your disrespectful high horse asswad. Your MOTHER is the one who needs to earn respect? -blam!- off. [/quote] She never had to earn it in the first place. She lost it. I can't respect someone like that, family or not.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Big Black Bear [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Big Black Bear [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight I don't respect my mother because she's pretentious, immature, condescending and egotistical.[/quote]Again, I find your use of these words quite ironic. "THose who live in glass houses sould not throw stones."[/quote] The fact you know practically nothing of me yet are making such solid assumptions would point to you being at least condescending... [/quote]I would have thought it was obvious that my comments were based solely on my observations from this thread. And please, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't "making solid sassumptions" exactly what you were asking all of us to do in this thread? It sounds to me that you simply do not like the conclusion I've come to because it differs from the one you were hoping for.[/quote] Yes. That's what I was asking. I just wanted a judgement on the situation. I don't want people judging my personality based on one, negatively charged emotional situation.
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Get off your disrespectful high horse asswad. Your MOTHER is the one who needs to earn respect? -blam!- off.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight So, not too long ago, I decided to have a pizza for lunch. I retrieved the pizza from the freezer. I put it next to the chopping board (I like peppers on my pizza). I started to dice some green peppers when my mother walks in and turns the oven on. She then said, "Hurry up 'cus the oven's on". I chuckled and said, "Well turn the oven off then". So she then responded, "Just hurry the hell up or stop being so -blam!- lazy and turn it off yourself". I turned to her with an expression mixed between anger and confusion. I asked her what the hell was with the attitude. She shouted at me and told me not to speak to her like that. I told her to drop the damned attitude and I wouldn't. She picked up my frozen pizza, put it back in the freezer and said, "If you want pizza you can buy your own". I carried on chopping my peppers and a few minutes later she came back with the pizza and stood next to me. I turned to her and asked what she wanted. "What? I don't get a thank you for bringing you the pizza back?" was her response. I scoffed and said, "Sorry, I didn't realise I'm supposed to be grateful when you act your age". I put my pizza in the oven with the added peppers and sat down in the living room. Another few minutes passed and she walked in and said, "No matter what we argue about, you shouldn't talk to me like that. I'm your mother". I told her, "You may be the reason I'm here, but I'm not going to inherently respect you. I am grateful for what I have but it doesn't mean I respect you at all. You argue with me, dad and gan-gan; it isn't us. You make your own stress and anger. Lose the attitude, calm the hell down and then I'll show you the respect you want". So Flood, whose side are you on?[/quote] op's mother is a sexy beast, thats about all i know /jk [Edited on 08.19.2012 9:18 AM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] CultMiester4000 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] kil1ertomatog [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] kil1ertomatog lol angsty teenager. If your mom is feeding you and isn't beating you, show her some god damn respect. I understand your frustration because my mom also does an amazing job of stressing herself over NOTHING and she can be INCREDIBLY selfish and inconsiderate when she gets emotional, but I still love her and will give her respect and space when she needs it. If your mom shouts at you for no good reason, it's okay to get mad (I slip up a lot) but try to suck it up. At the least, don't make snarky comebacks when you know your mom can be unreasonable and she's pissed.[/quote] I'm grateful. Respect is a whole other thing in my book. The things I said were in the heat of the moment, and the only thing I believe I said that were snarky was the whole 'acting your age' comment.[/quote]That was the point. You knew your mom was pissed off, and you know your mom is the 'immature' one. The mature thing to do is to be the better man, suck it up, and walk away quietly. Same with when your mom said "You shouldn't talk to me like that, I'm your mother". There are appropriate times for real talk, and that was not one of them.[/quote]that is a fair point. i have learned to hold my tongue because it just isn't worth getting into arguments about. hopefully you'll learn that too, OP.[/quote] Oh trust me I hold my tongue. Even when she can see I'm becoming irritated she will keep on pushing. It's not like she's doing it purposely to work me up, she's just incapable of realising what she's doing wrong. No matter how much I tell her, no matter how many arguments we get into, she refuses to acknowledge her mistakes.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] kil1ertomatog That was the point. You knew your mom was pissed off, and you know your mom is the 'immature' one. The mature thing to do is to be the better man, suck it up, and walk away quietly. Same with when your mom said "You shouldn't talk to me like that, I'm your mother". There are appropriate times for real talk, and that was not one of them.[/quote] It's hard to suck it up when I take it throughout the majority of most weeks. I shouldn't have to bash my head against a brick wall.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] kil1ertomatog [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] kil1ertomatog lol angsty teenager. If your mom is feeding you and isn't beating you, show her some god damn respect. I understand your frustration because my mom also does an amazing job of stressing herself over NOTHING and she can be INCREDIBLY selfish and inconsiderate when she gets emotional, but I still love her and will give her respect and space when she needs it. If your mom shouts at you for no good reason, it's okay to get mad (I slip up a lot) but try to suck it up. At the least, don't make snarky comebacks when you know your mom can be unreasonable and she's pissed.[/quote] I'm grateful. Respect is a whole other thing in my book. The things I said were in the heat of the moment, and the only thing I believe I said that were snarky was the whole 'acting your age' comment.[/quote]That was the point. You knew your mom was pissed off, and you know your mom is the 'immature' one. The mature thing to do is to be the better man, suck it up, and walk away quietly. Same with when your mom said "You shouldn't talk to me like that, I'm your mother". There are appropriate times for real talk, and that was not one of them.[/quote]that is a fair point. i have learned to hold my tongue because it just isn't worth getting into arguments about. hopefully you'll learn that too, OP.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Big Black Bear [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight I don't respect my mother because she's pretentious, immature, condescending and egotistical.[/quote]Again, I find your use of these words quite ironic. "THose who live in glass houses sould not throw stones."[/quote] The fact you know practically nothing of me yet are making such solid assumptions would point to you being at least condescending... [/quote]I would have thought it was obvious that my comments were based solely on my observations from this thread. And please, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't "making solid sassumptions" exactly what you were asking all of us to do in this thread? It sounds to me that you simply do not like the conclusion I've come to because it differs from the one you were hoping for.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] True Underdog Call it what you want but it doesn't change the fact that I'm right. Going to guess that you're in your mid-late teens and you think that you know everything. Almost everyone here who's at least in their mid twenties is going to agree with mine and Big Black Bear's stance because guess what? [i]We have been there.[/i] We disrespected our parents. We thought we were right. We challenged them at every opportunity. We said the same pseudo-intellectual bull-blam!- that you're spewing in this thread. We had people tell us what I'm telling you. We reacted the same way you did.* Call it condescending but I'm right. [quote]"The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise" -Alden Nowlan[/quote] *BBB, I'm not trying to speak [i]for[/i] you. By "we" I meant people who are older than their teens in general.[/quote] Maybe you are right. But my step-father, grandfather and grandmother will all agree that she lets herself get worked up. I love my mother, and I have no idea how hard parenting is. But you know what, she was a teenager once. Hell, from stories I've been told she was one of the most rebellious I've heard of. But as a parent she should be able to hold a conversation with me. She should be able to understand where I'm coming from and what I'm feeling. And ultimately, she should learn from her mistakes. I don't challenge her at every turn, as I've stated I try and hold mature conversations wit her, but it easy to get pissed off when someone (especially your mother) refuses to listen to you.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] kil1ertomatog lol angsty teenager. If your mom is feeding you and isn't beating you, show her some god damn respect. I understand your frustration because my mom also does an amazing job of stressing herself over NOTHING and she can be INCREDIBLY selfish and inconsiderate when she gets emotional, but I still love her and will give her respect and space when she needs it. If your mom shouts at you for no good reason, it's okay to get mad (I slip up a lot) but try to suck it up. At the least, don't make snarky comebacks when you know your mom can be unreasonable and she's pissed.[/quote] I'm grateful. Respect is a whole other thing in my book. The things I said were in the heat of the moment, and the only thing I believe I said that were snarky was the whole 'acting your age' comment.[/quote]That was the point. You knew your mom was pissed off, and you know your mom is the 'immature' one. The mature thing to do is to be the better man, suck it up, and walk away quietly. Same with when your mom said "You shouldn't talk to me like that, I'm your mother". There are appropriate times for real talk, and that was not one of them.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Big Black Bear [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] CultMiester4000 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Big Black Bear "No matter what we argue about, you shouldn't talk to me like that. I'm your mother". - This statement is true. [/quote]i understand where that comes from, but i honestly don't agree. someone gets respect until they prove that they don't deserve it in my books, and [u]whether they're my mother or not is irrelevant[/u]. [/quote]I've underlined the key part of that sentence. If you honestly don't see why your mother should be subject to a different set of criteria than a random stranger you meet on the street, then you have bigger issues with respect than you realize.[/quote]i don't have issues with respect, i have issues with her. she beats the rest of the family up, and no-one ever stands up to it. [Edited on 08.19.2012 9:08 AM PDT]
