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8/31/2011 1:44:16 AM
313
Can Crimson take down Angry Birds?
We all know that Angry Birds is probably the greatest game to ever grace mobile gaming. It ranks just behind the fart app and that app that costs $10,000 on the list of greatest apps ever created. There is something so primal about launching birds into pigs.
It probably reaches back to our days as cavemen. I mean, back then it was cool to have a bird, but what good is a tiny little blue bird going to do when you have all the cave women flocking to you because you invented fire. They want to have you cave babies, but it's not going to happen with a little avian creature. So what did our ancestors do? They launched those tiny birds at pigs. It was then they that were able to harness the delicious pork products. And that's how bacon was invented.
So for crimson to be effective at all, it needs to be able to break the hold that angry birds has on the market. It needs to beat the game which tells the story of our ancestors inventing bacon so they could make sweet cave love to the cave women all night and populate the world.
So Crimson needs two things. Food and women. Those are the two most basic needs of life. We need food and we need to reproduce. Crimson must include a food greater than bacon. It will be a hard task, but I think we can do it. My personal suggestion would be [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YsE8j6OioQ]deep fried butter[/url], but we can decide that later.
Secondly we need women. Lots and lots of women. Bungie, if you're listening, I would place a call to [url=http://www.mtv.com/movies/photos/p/pirates_caribbean2_060627/flip-.jpg]Keira Knightley's[/url] agent. She is definitely a 10 and she knows how to play the pirate roll. Johnny Depp in a bikini might also be a little bit of a turn on. But definition some pirates with some skin showing would be clutch.
Angry Birds set the precedent. They built a best selling game by telling the tale of our ancestors getting women with bacon. Now Crimson needs to not just follow the blueprint, but follow the blueprint x10. We need MORE delicious foods and MORE women. That's the key. Hopefully Bungie knows what they're doing.
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OT: LolNo
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Separikakku [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] PinkPanther4125 I'm assuming Aerospace was a massive failure because there hasn't been a single update in...coming up on a full year. That's.... embarrassing. [/quote] Hate to ask ... but how many updates did bungie release for reach?[/quote] Careful ... they are banworthy words you be using. True, bungie didnt release any updates (unless you want to include cash raising DLC). Guess they thought it perfect ... or at least perfect enough to meet contractual requirements. Ironically those that now bag 343 for not '[i]fixing[/i]' reach were happy enough that bungie didnt release updates.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] PinkPanther4125 I'm assuming Aerospace was a massive failure because there hasn't been a single update in...coming up on a full year. That's.... embarrassing. [/quote] Hate to ask ... but how many updates did bungie release for reach? The original developer has moved on, from all accounts the trial using bungie did not work out that well for them. Doubt anyone will see bungie get another title to publish.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] davidkills Indeed, I agree to you. The eyes sucks [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Chilltage [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] it1345 Keira Knightley lacks the boobs to be a 10[/quote] Her eyebrows or eyes annoy me. Lower half of her face is good, but I wouldn't give her 10. 8[/quote][/quote] Either of you Adonis like individuals care to provide a comparison self-image ... lol. I also love how the forum mods can come down on anyone who reply-posts (noting '[i]Harassment[/i]') yet cannot extend this same rights to a public individual, and for whom the post is completely off-topic. Well done forum mods. Have provided this as an example site for pro-retrictions panels setup in Australia, EU, UK and the US. Seems to be that the troll meter alert has hit an all-time high ... over-the-top, but always willing to act as a concerned citizen when the opportunity arises - lol.
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Indeed, I agree to you. The eyes sucks [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Chilltage [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] it1345 Keira Knightley lacks the boobs to be a 10[/quote] Her eyebrows or eyes annoy me. Lower half of her face is good, but I wouldn't give her 10. 8[/quote]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] davidkills Honestly, nothing beats Angry birds[/quote] And on so many more platforms. It was funny how bungie elected not to release all the HBS platforms at once ... even though the game engine supported them all from day one. The team at HBS actually delevoped the game on windows PC's. Few of their devs actually laughed about this on the platform forums.
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The only reason I don't try Crimson is that I am too busy in playing Angry Birds. Honestly, nothing beats Angry birds, and now that [url=http://angrybirdsjournal.com/bad-piggies/]Bad piggies[/url] is coming out, even less. [Edited on 09.26.2012 5:08 AM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Chilltage [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] it1345 Keira Knightley lacks the boobs to be a 10[/quote] Her eyebrows or eyes annoy me. Lower half of her face is good, but I wouldn't give her 10. 8[/quote] Keira Knightley as a CSP character ?!?!? Wishful thinking. Just as CSP is NEVER going to take down Angry Birds ... Keira Knightley is never going to associate herself with this game. (hey, even bungie dropped aerospace ... and it was their baby) But here is a challenge for both these super hunks. Post a photo showing either of you even getting the attention of Keira Knightley (without it involving a restraining order)... lol.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] it1345 Keira Knightley lacks the boobs to be a 10[/quote] Her eyebrows or eyes annoy me. Lower half of her face is good, but I wouldn't give her 10. 8
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] PinkPanther4125 I'm assuming Aerospace was a massive failure because there hasn't been a single update in...coming up on a full year. That's.... embarrassing. [/quote] Forget the update ... although agree that is lame. But what about; - No other titles from ANYONE, - What about the promise to help other indie developers, ... what, did no others exist?!? - what about the financial resources? ... HBS had to go to free market to get their $1.8mil. ... no help from bungie, who else needed their '[i]resources[/i]' - why did they drop their own trademark? Its funny actually. After years of bagging Microsoft and throwing a fit until they got their '[i]freedom[/i]', bungie didnt even last a year at playing [i]publisher[/i] ... and in the mobile marketplace. And to top that off, they ran back to Activision after discrediting them back in 2000 when it all started. bungie - lol
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I'm assuming Aerospace was a massive failure because there hasn't been a single update in...coming up on a full year. That's.... embarrassing.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Multijirachi Lol, Crimson has a little over 400000 doanloads (According to Apple). What does Angry Birds have? Millions, thats what.[/quote] Doubt bungie cared. They still took their 30% ... not sure how man of those downloads are of the non-free/trial version ... but regardless cost bungie NOTHING ... so kinda like %100 profit. bungie didnt even pay-up to renew the cromsin trademark ... keeping those profits all to their own.
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Lol, Crimson has a little over 400000 doanloads (According to Apple). What does Angry Birds have? Millions, thats what.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Oh GodLike One And yet we till have some people believing that CSP can take the lead ???[/quote]not even sure if Rovio Entertainment are aware of Crimson Steam Pirates mere existence, suppose once they find/found out, they burst out laughing?
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] ODSTFADE nvm...[/quote] Oh ... but we do mind. Got sent to the naughty corner for 3 months and come back to the same old debate ... how does this happen?!? Crimson is basically dead ... yeat Angry Birds is into a fresh new release, even got cloned copies of the game appearing. And yet we till have some people believing that CSP can take the lead ???
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nvm... [Edited on 06.26.2012 11:52 AM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Lobster Fish 2 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Separikakku Anyone believe aerospace will get the chance to release another title ... second year, second title??[/quote]Crimson: Pirates SPACE. ....or is that Destiny?[/quote] Destiny is not an aerospace project ... aerospace is dead, even the trademark has been dropped. Why would you not ante up on the $300 fee for one of your core trademarks? As for Destiny ... will judge it if/when it arrives. Did love this comment though "[url=http://www.joystiq.com/2012/05/21/activision-bungie-contract-reveals-four-game-plan-code-named-de/]So the whole reason Bungie stopped making Xbox exclusives was so they could explore the creative freedom of making timed Xbox exclusives?[/url]" - lol. Good to see bungie are already planning the game plus four full price expansions (anyone remember their denial around ODST).
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Angry birds is terrible to me, any game beats it in my opinion.
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I am so tired of Angry Birds.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Separikakku Funny to look back on posts made close to the game launch. Such hopes, so many promises ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Projects/Aerospace/default.aspx]and not just on the aerospace page[/url] - lol). Even if you collected the total number of unit sales on ALL released platforms the game doesnt even come close to Angey Birds on any single platform. Anyone believe aerospace will get the chance to release another title ... second year, second title??[/quote]Crimson: Pirates SPACE. ....or is that Destiny?
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Funny to look back on posts made close to the game launch. Such hopes, so many promises ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Projects/Aerospace/default.aspx]and not just on the aerospace page[/url] - lol). Even if you collected the total number of unit sales on ALL released platforms the game doesnt even come close to Angey Birds on any single platform. Anyone believe aerospace will get the chance to release another title ... second year, second title??
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prolly not.
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not it can not
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] ballseye02 NO, BUT THE GAME WILL BE UTTER CRAP, LIKE ALL BUNGIE GAMES. JUST SOMETHING TO WAST YOUR LIFE ON! I WAS A BIG HALO FAN... THEN BUNGIE DE RANKED ME FOR NO REASON. I CAN BET THAT SOME ADDICT WILL NOW COMMENT ON THIS AND SUPPORT BUNGIE. REMEMBER THAT BUNGIE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU UNLESS YOUR CARRYING BUCKETS OF YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY. COME ON BUNGIE, BLACK LIST ME! I KNOW YOU WILL, HELP THESE PEOPLE WAST THEIR LIVES![/quote]1. Learn to spell. 2. You're calling fans of Bungie "addicts" and yet the removal of a previous fake rank and a virtual game has you so inflamed that you feel the need to make a barely on topic post in a thread about it in all caps and then attempt to invoke the fullest wrath capable of being let loose onto a Bungie.net user: the ban just to set an example for your fellow revolutionaries. 3. Your opinion =/= fact. 4. You're probably gone and this is being wasted.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] it1345 Keira Knightley lacks the boobs to be a 10[/quote]Uh, what?
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never
