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Edited by Haknir: 11/24/2019 6:38:26 AM
5

A story based on a dream I had

[spoiler]I had this idea before I saw Girraffalope’s story. Also feel free to tell me how my writing is, I haven’t written a story in years.[/spoiler] The three visitors carefully made their way across the narrow bridge. The wood creaked under their feet, reminding them to keep their balance. Meanwhile, the villager leading the group strolled on unbothered. Heavy rain, which battered against the hats of the visitors, sent chills into their bodies and tensed up their muscles. Soon, the villager leading them invited the visitors into the wooden hut at the end of the bridge. Once inside, she motioned for them to sit with her. “It is so nice to see new faces around here. My name is Ngadi, I am one of the farmers here in our village.” The visitor Haknir returned a smile. “We’ve loved it so far,” he said, “but I must ask, what is down there?” He pointed out of a window in the hut. In the distance below, the visitor noticed a clearing with a rooftop just poking out of the trees. Ngadi peered out toward the house and grew more serious. “Ah, that is the reason we sought to bring you here at all. We hoped you would enjoy our culture and food, but down there... that is something much more interesting.” “And what might that be?” “Foreigners. Not like you though. They came unannounced... and unwanted,” she said, her brow furrowing the longer she stared. Haknir drew closer to the window with her while the other visitors looked past them from behind. “Well if that’s the case, why don’t we go see them?” “Yes, why don’t we?” She replied. The curiosity of what awaited the guests far outweighed their fear. As they drew closer to the secluded house, the sounds of life from the village became quieter. The group walked along a winding dirt path through the jungle to reach the house. Just when they could see the clearing, Ngadi stopped short. “I cannot go any closer,” she said, “Their bad omens infect my people. I will not risk that for myself. We know you can help us. This is the only reason we request your assistance for something so dangerous.” Ngadi parted ways with Haknir and his group, leaving them to continue on their journey. A tall, wooden wall surrounded the house in the clearing. Only a single gap in the barrier permitted them entrance. Within the boundaries of the wall, the group found themselves surrounded by raspberry plants. The thick cover from the plants surrounded the entire house, and only a small path cut its way toward the entrance. The group treaded softly down the path in complete silence, observing the little red clusters around them. Upon entering the house, with Haknir in the lead, the group noticed nothing. The completely empty hall invited them to investigate further. As Haknir poked his head around a corner, he found the unwanted guests. On a mat lay a rather small and bony old man with his gray hair slicked back on his head. His bare body appeared absolutely lifeless. The man’s somewhat lighter skin revealed that he, in fact, did not belong with the rest of the villagers. Next to the lifeless man lay a large dog, its fur brown, and its large eyes like a deep black abyss. Haknir stepped into the open room, making his presence known, and the dog raised its head. It stared intently at him, betraying no sense of malice, but instead a sense of confusion. The others behind Haknir followed at a distance. As he walked closer, the large dog moved one paw over its companion, as if to protect him. At last, Haknir closed the distance, standing right in front of the great beast. It did not make any further moves or attempt to stop Haknir from moving so close. After a long pause, Haknir reached out with his hand, bringing it close to the hound’s face. He could feel its breath on his hand as he went to touch it. The dog had almost no reaction to his hand on its hide other than a brief pause in its breath. Haknir lightly stroked the dog, and then lowered his hand toward the old man. The dog lowered its eyes to the man, and let out a soft growl as Haknir’s touched the man’s bony chest. All three group members held their breath for a moment. The dog’s growling stopped shortly. All three exhaled and Haknir stared down at the lifeless old man. “Who are you anyw-“ before he could finish, the dog released a deep, anguished growl. Haknir stepped back as the dog’s groaning turned into a deafening howl. Before he could retreat further, an intense wind swept over him. A tempest centered over the old man roared around the dog and Haknir, and then fell silent again. The rain no longer fell, and looking up at where they were, the others behind Haknir noticed neither he nor the old man nor the dog remained. All three vanished completely, and the house around them sustained signicant damage. Sunlight shined through the cracked roof. After a short moment, Ngadi rushes into the house. “The Village is back to normal! Have they really gone then?” She asked. However, she noticed one member missing from the original three who entered. “Where is he? Where’s Haknir?”

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  • Hell yeah bröther. Good read Only suggestion I would make is to avoid word repetition. It reads a lot smoother when you don’t say the same word 6 sentences in a row. Other than that, nice work!

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