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9/27/2005 12:45:44 AM
32
My speech
Tomorrow I have to give an informative speech for my comm 101 class. I'm almost done with it and I have it recorded. Please listen to it and let me know if it is understandable and if you have any ideas on how to make it better..
[url=http://yellowdragoneye.net/Stuff/speech.wma]My speech[/url]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] EL Wow you seemed nervous and you were by yourself... Warning: Harsh Critism Coming Up You said [i]Um[/i] a few times. Try not to use these words; Um, like, so, because. You also paused a few times. I suggest a little joke prepared if no one wants to volunteer. Chances are no one will. Laughing is okay, it shows your not too serious and can relate to the audience. Trust me it relaxs them. My brother is a salesman and has had countless speeches when he was in college. He has taught me a few things. In fact I used to practice my speeches in my room with my knuckles in his hands and everytime I would use words like; um, so, like..etc. he would smack them with a ruler or a spoon. Your voice also changed tones. Weird. I know being in front of a crowd can be difficult. But I believe in you! You may also want to think about where your hands are gonna be and where your eyes will be focused.[/quote] I agree a lot with what EL said, I took a count of the filler words you used (um, like, and ok), and I don’t mean to sound overly critical but wanted you to know the number of times you used them. UM: 8 times. OK: 3 times. Like: 1 time. Not bad if I say so myself. As far as your voice, I didn’t hear anything wrong with it and feel that you did a good job of it. My only real suggestion are ,if you are allowed to, move around while you are giving your speech and don’t be tied to the podium. If you can walk around don’t leave any change in your pockets, due to the fact that it may cause noise and distract from what you are saying as well as not wearing anything that could cause a distraction as well i.e. a very loud shirt or something that you wouldn’t wear if you were to give the speech to an audience other than your fellow classmates. On a final note, if you have a video camera record yourself giving the speech so that you can actually see what your audience would. I hope this helps.
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Thanks to everyone! your comments have helped me so much!!! I love the flood!!!
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You are way too nervous. Just get up and say your stuff. We wont laugh
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I agree. very constructive criticizm
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I'm not trying to be stuck up, or a know-it-all, I'm just trying to help. [*]You sound older, so I'd have to suggest steering away from comments like "dialogue [i]master[/i]". I'm sure this as been said many times, but try to stop using "ok", no matter how nerbbous you are. If it's supposed to be more laid back like that, it's cool, but I understand that it is more of a "mature" class. [*] If you get extra time, try working on your pauses, though it's not something big to worry about at all - just a little fine tuning. [*]Your speach is very clear. Keep that around. [*] Your speach seems a little light, especially the first minute. It just sounds like you're trying to fill a time limit as best you can. It was basically nothing until about a minute in. Try talking about those other factors that you listed. [*] Avoid personal comments, if this a more mature class. Things about how you enjoyed "Lost" so much seemed irrelevant and kinda childish (no offense).
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lol but really it's true the more u practice the better you are at talking about LOST.
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and over and over and over!
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only a couple stalls between paragraphs. nice word chioce though! good job just keep practicing it, over and over again.
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[b]FOOL![/b] *slaps dragon eyes*-oh wait... drat [Edited on 9/26/2005]
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I have it all on a note card now and I'm getting better at not stopping so much.
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[b]FOOL![/b] *slaps mole just for the hell of it*
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Savior_Insanity i noticed you have your speech written on paper (i could hear you flip the page). try writing it on note cards, so you can just drop them after your done with it, laughing at the right time is good, but don't laugh to much, sometimes your voice would fade out, and it would get hard to hear. talk slower, and don't pause as much in between phrases. the wrods um, like, and so are a big NO. if you use those and put in bigger words, people will not appretiate your speech. make your speech flow, not so choppy. have a glass of water handy so if your mouth gets dry stop at the next sentence, or paragraph, to refresh your mouth so it doesn't feel all cottony. other than that you should be fine.[/quote] [b]FOOL![/b] we do not talk that way to drangon eyes! *slaps Savior_Insanity*
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i noticed you have your speech written on paper (i could hear you flip the page). try writing it on note cards, so you can just drop them after your done with it, laughing at the right time is good, but don't laugh to much, sometimes your voice would fade out, and it would get hard to hear. talk slower, and don't pause as much in between phrases. the wrods um, like, and so are a big NO. if you use those and put in bigger words, people will not appretiate your speech. make your speech flow, not so choppy. have a glass of water handy so if your mouth gets dry stop at the next sentence, or paragraph, to refresh your mouth so it doesn't feel all cottony. other than that you should be fine.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Stivesie89 holy -blam!- your a girl! nice speech by the way[/quote] [b]FOOL![/b] *slaps Stivesie89* nice. you sound like a pro also a teacher! don don don! no it was good! and oh ya i will make you pround! jk. [Edited on 9/26/2005]
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Try to not laugh and also try to clear it up a bit because it was kind of choppy. The tone of your voice was fine though. Just make sure you speak clearly and look at your class as much as you can. [Edited on 9/26/2005]
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omg...you have to tell me what its like in college!! tell me EVERYTHING...everything....every little detail...I would seriously like to know. PLease PM me
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Not bad. Just keep practicing and you'll get it down perfectly.
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That was pretty well written. My only critisisms would be how you read it. You tend to pause a bit to much. It is definetly good to not rush it and give it time to sink in to those listening, but you don't want to get carried away. Also, like EL said, you tend to say um... like... so... etc, a bit to much. You do, however, sound very relaxed, which is definetly good. If I were in the audience, I would definetly feel more comfortable listening to you, rather than someone who is quiet, tense, and reading in the same boring tone directly from the sheet of the paper. Overall though I think it seems quite good.
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Wow thanks EL...I'll try to work on that stuff. [Edited on 9/26/2005]
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Wow you seemed nervous and you were by yourself... Warning: Harsh Critism Coming Up You said [i]Um[/i] a few times. Try not to use these words; Um, like, so, because. You also paused a few times. I suggest a little joke prepared if no one wants to volunteer. Chances are no one will. Laughing is okay, it shows your not too serious and can relate to the audience. Trust me it relaxs them. My brother is a salesman and has had countless speeches when he was in college. He has taught me a few things. In fact I used to practice my speeches in my room with my knuckles in his hands and everytime I would use words like; um, so, like..etc. he would smack them with a ruler or a spoon. Your voice also changed tones. Weird. I know being in front of a crowd can be difficult. But I believe in you! You may also want to think about where your hands are gonna be and where your eyes will be focused.
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oh -blam!-! im gonna have to do more of this speech stuff!?!?! damnit!!! [Edited on 9/26/2005]
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Comm 101 is a core class for college almost everyone has to take it.
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I liked it. Your a much better talker than i am. I dont like going in front of a big group. whats comm 101 class? is that a class for college or something?
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Hey DragonEyes, are you in college? im just wondering cuz if you are my advice mite not be all that helpful! im only a sophmore in High School and im only in Intro to Speech class...
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Pretty good.
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Good speech.You don't wind up talking about bacon like I do.
