We all miss the Gjallahorn. It's a fact. Perhaps the most universally loved weapons of year one, players hunted ceaselessly for it for months. Nothing(with the possible exception of the pre-nerf Black Hammer) was a more efficient boss killer. However, when Year Two came out, this stellar weapon was nerfed beyond recognition. As it is unlikely that it will be brought back in the near future, I suggest a replacement for it: Uncle Sam.
Uncle Sam looks like a standard rocket launcher of uncommon or rare quality. Except for the weathered red, white and blue paint job. It would have a one rocket magazine, would do arc damage, have tracking, proximity, and a special perk called "General Washington." When fired, it leaves a red white and blue vapor trail, and in addition to the standard roar of the rocket, the screams of eagles and the American national anthem can be heard as it speeds toward its target. However, it will not impact. Not yet. Once it comes close to its victim, it takes a sharp turn upwards, ascends to a high altitude, and a small charge detonates the warhead, splitting it into fifty submunitions, each one a representative of a state in the Union. These will arrange themselves into an American flag, which will then descend and cover the targeted enemy. Then it explodes, destroying the entire map and everyone on it, including any guardians in the area, and making the map unplayable in the future for the player, and awarding a win for whatever activity the player is participating in.
Please petition Bungie to make this a reality!
God Bless America.
Sincerely,
A Warlock and a Gentleman.
Edit: it's a joke, fellows. Don't be so sensitive.
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Im gussing ur muricun? I leik vis idia
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Yes I suggest a quest to obtain it and the only time you can do it is on such days as presidents day, veterans day, and the fourth of july
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'MURICA!!!F*CK YEAH!!!
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lmao, nice bro
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Edited by o HULK SMASH o: 11/26/2015 4:13:06 PMFabricated in "Golden Age" Germany cuz everybody knows that we have the best weapon manufactories... God bless America. ;) A german in America. And Titan... A defender -> that is important ok??! xD
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That was the most beautiful thing I've ever read
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I am a proud American but I want this in the game less than I want cancer in my body. People play this game in many nations, it should not add in things that support a single country. Also it would not fit in with the lore.
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I vote yes. Then we can have a Mexico one that when it explodes it drops candy and confetti all over the place. And then a Canada one where it drops syrup and makes it hard to run if you're hit by it
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Great but it should include the following to be truly American (Satire warning) -Taxes, takes 25% of your glimmer of you are out it dismantles the amount of things needed to cover the cost. - Aggressive tracking, extra damage to anyone whose guardian is not white (sorry exos and awoken) -Interference, can listen In onto anyone's party without consent. Feel free to add more
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Edited by Swiftlock: 11/26/2015 11:57:52 PM[url=http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Red_Glare]Fallout did it first. [/url] Multiple times, actually. Patriotic weapons are a recurring theme.
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I think it's hilarious how butthurt people got over this, it's a joke, relax, it was your choice to read it in the first place
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I just got this as a drop!!! It keeps taking 25% of my glimmer everytime I earn it saying something about taxes... I'm deleting this shit..
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Description should read: Peace through superior firepower
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*stands up to clap* *realize my gut hurts to much*n
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Wow I can picture playing at 4am as I often do with the people across the pond. Lol
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'Murica, heck yeah! *throws money at the screen*
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It would be cool as part of a holiday quest line or something, just without the op stuff. It would be like the masks, where you have no attack, it just fires fireworks.
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It also needs to be sold for silver to be truly American
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Bump lol
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This is more cringworthy than bruce jenner
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Yes I love it!
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Everything was perfect until you mention the American flag... What a waist... The eagle scream is an awesome idea thought u.u
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'Murica
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I remember a post on the 4th of july from a guardian who asked to put destiny offline due to respect for america. this reminds me of that posts. You idiots know that not only americans play destiny right?
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Lmao it would be funny if that was real but literally game breaking XD