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6/11/2009 12:54:28 AM
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MLG Cheehwawa's ** Halo REACH script ** (+REACH 2 preview!)
[b]Halo: REACH[/b]
[i]by MLG Cheehwawa[/i]
[b]*** // [u]PLEASE POST YOUR THOUGHTS TO KEEP THIS THREAD ALIVE. A LOT OF WORK WENT INTO IMAGINING, RESEARCHING, WRITING, AND EDITING THIS... ALL DONE BY ME. THANKS![/u] \\ ***[/b]
[b]** [i]Moderator-approved[/i] **[/b]
[b][u]DISCLAIMERS[/b][/u]
[i]This is entirely my creation (I have borrowed lines directly from some novels to tie this in with the existing canon); I have no affiliation with Bungie studios and do not claim to know what Halo REACH will be about. This is my idea for what REACH would be like [b]if[/b] I were the writer on the project. A lot of this has been crafted by me, and not taken directly from the Halo canon (namely characters, locations, battles, and ships), but to the best of my knowledge, it does not conflict with the canon at all. If it does, let me know so I can tweak it.[/i]
[b]The numbering question:[/b] [i]Sierra-259 and Sierra-320 have call-signs above 150, the original number of Spartan-II candidates. My explanation for this is that there was a large pool of children surveyed (at least 320). Then of those, 150 of the best were selected, and of those, only 75 were conscripted due to budget limitations.[/i]
The script is all complete and posted. This is definitely not the end of the story, though. I have designed this to be a trilogy of games. I'm working on the first sequal now, which will run parallel with the beginning of Halo 2 and some of Ghosts of Onyx, but it will be a new story like with my first script.
Halo REACH 2 will show us numerous things which Bungie hasn't told us about, that you will find out as I post. I don't know how fast I will be able to get the sequal done, though I already have the backbone for the first and second sequals, as well as the [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=35589354]first cinematic[/url] (Harbinger), as well as about half of the first mission, for REACH 2. I'm starting at a full time job tomorrow and another semester at college late this month. I will get this done as fast as possible.
[b]IF YOU DO NOT WANT MY STORY SPOILED, I SUGGEST YOU AVOID THE BESTIARUM AND DRAMATIS PERSONAE UNTIL SOMETHING IN THE STORY CONFUSES YOU.[/b] Otherwise you may know how the story ends before you even begin.
[b]I write this for three reasons:[/b]
[b]1.[/b] Because I love the Halo Universe. [b]2.[/b] I am the writer for a small game developing studio. This is good practice for my current and future work. [b]3.[/b] To share my story; a lot of effort went into this, so please give it a read and leave some feedback if you have the time.
[i]I hope you enjoy this piece as much as I enjoyed researching and writing it.[/i]
[b][u]Halo REACH[/b][/u][quote]
[b]0: [u]Introduction[/b][/u] ([i]this![/i])
[b]I: [u]Dramatis personae[/b][/u] ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33693067]Part 1[/url])
[b]II: [u]Bestiarum[/b][/u] ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33693087]Part 1[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33693155]Part 2[/url])
[b]III: [u]The Pillar of Autumn[/b][/u] ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33693221]Part 1[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33693234]Part 2[/url])
[b]IV: [u]Reach[/b][/u] ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33694166]Part 1[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33694189]Part 2[/url])
[b]V: [u]The Grid[/u][/b] ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33722631]Part 1[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33722679]Part 2[/url])
[b]VI: [u]The Divine Retribution[/u][/b] ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33823721]Part 1[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33823737]Part 2[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33823770]Part 3[/url])
[b]VII: [u]Camp Independence[/u][/b] ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33883434]Part 1[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33883449]Part 2[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33883459]Part 3[/url])
[b]VIII: [u]Ruins[/u][/b] ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33939360]Part 1[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33939382]Part 2[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33939415]Part 3[/url])
[b]IX: [u]Graves[/u][/b] ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33954239]Part 1[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33954252]Part 2[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33954269]Part 3[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33954281]Part 4[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33954297]Part 5[/url])
[b]X: [u]Asterion[/u][/b] ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33966708]Part 1[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33966723]Part 2[/url])
[b]XI: [u]Pathways[/u][/b] ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33967345]Part 1[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33968437]Part 2[/url])
[b]XII: [u]Revalation[/u][/b] ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33986238]Part 1[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33986267]Part 2[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33986285]Part 3[/url])
[b]XIII: [u]Ghosts of Reach[/u][/b] ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33991656]Part 1[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33992667]Part 2[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33992722]Part 3[/url])
[b]XIV: [u]Credits[/b][/u] ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33693275]Part 1[/url])
[b]XV: [u]Legendary Ending[/u][/b] ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=33999918]Part 1[/url])
[/quote]
[b][u]Halo REACH 2[/u] (preview)[/b][quote]
[b]Harbinger:[/b] ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=35589354]Part 1[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=35589441]Part 2[/url])
[b]Notes[/b] ([url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=36475503]Part 1[/url] ll [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=36475530]Part 2[/url])
[Edited on 08.30.2009 6:52 PM PDT]
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Camp Independence (This independence is absolutely fabulous) part 1: [quote]RAUM: Demons! You disgrace this world and the Forerunner with your filthy footsteps![/quote] Forerunner might make more sense as Forerunners and again in the line after. [quote]RAWLEY: ...Forerunner..?[/quote] [quote]Close, mounted: the camera is mounted on S259's shoulder. His vision is glued to where the Elite fled; he holds for a moment, and then, [b]convinced the Elite gone[/b], turns toward the source of the distractive fire. From behind an outcrop of rocks, three seven-foot-tall figures emerge. Anton-044, Grace-093, and Li-008. Team Gamma.[/quote] Should be "Convinced the Elite [b]is[/b] gone" [Edited on 07.22.2009 7:48 AM PDT]
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Divine retribution part three needs an edit: [quote]Close: S259 melees the Elite, [b]the Elite drops and elbow over the top of the Spartan's helmet.[/b] Their shields flare, not allowing either of them to make a purchase. The Elite manages to muscle S259 to the ground, it jams its massive forearm against S259's throat, and traps the Spartan's left hand in its three-fingered hand; pinning S259 to the ground.[/quote] The bit i've highlited in bold doesn't make sense. Did you mean "drops [b]an[/b] elbow" or "drops and elbow[b]s[/b]"? Same thing here: [quote]Close, tracking: S259 scrambles to his feet before the Elite, he brings his knee up and catches the Elite square in the face, knocking a handful of its shark-like teeth out in a purple spray. The Spartan follows this up and pushes the Elite over onto its back, its head now leaning over the edge of the iris. The Spartan mounts and lets loose a flurry of punches, battering the Elite, but the alien will not stay down. It manages to wriggle out of the hold, [b]and it drops and elbow[/b] on S259's back, flipping him belly-up, his head now dangling over the edge of the iris.[/quote] [quote]Close, angle up: the camera is mounted behind S098's shoulder, looking up into the iris. She lowers [b]he[/b] rifle.[/quote] This needs to be changed to "lowers he[b]r[/b] rifle" [Edited on 07.22.2009 7:35 AM PDT]
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Divine retribution part 1 needs editing: [quote]Close, angle up: on the ground, an [b]Elite kicks Grunt[/b] in frustration as the Pelican can be seen rocketing away into the sky.[/quote] Should be "Elite kicks [b]a[/b] Grunt
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I think this is great
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The Grid part 1 needs editing in this block of text: [quote]S104: Everyone catch that last transmission? { he pauses for a second, and bobs his head once. } Good, here's the plan: we split into four teams. Team Delta will consist of Will, Isaac, Vinh, Keiichi, Brock, and Jason. Fall back to Menachite Mountain, secure a fall-back location for us at CASTLE base. { he pauses for a second, and bobs his head once. } Team Gamma will consist of Anton, Li, and Grace. You'll extract the Admiral and his men. Bring them back to the generators. We'll need the extra crew. Team Beta will consist of Keira, Sirus, Edgar, Scarlett, Jade, Leonora, Hayden, Gabriel, Keaton, { he looks at S259. } Dante, { he looks at S267 Dorian. } and you, Dorian. [b]You're two are in command here.[/b] Give 'em hell. { Fred now looks to the other Spartans closest to him. } Team Alpha will consist of myself, Kelly, and Joshua. We're going to that valley { he upturns his head to the north-east. } to kill anything there that isn't human. Spartans, ready up![/quote] "You're two are in command here" should be "You two are in command here".
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Got.. to keep it..... ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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You need to be Bungie Staff. To take this much time writing all this, you should deserve something. GREAT work.
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[quote]KEYES: Strange? Yes, Lieutenant. You might act a little strange if you seen and been through as much as they had.[/quote] This bit of part one of pillar of autumn needs to be changed to "if you [b]had[/b] seen". What i've read so far sounds really good. [Edited on 07.22.2009 6:43 AM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] JesseZinVT Just finished reading it, so far it sounds great! As an appreciator of the "expanded" halo universe (Books, overall story canon, etc.) I can definitely appreciate the work you've put into including many of the lesser known and cut elements, like the other flood pure forms and guardian sentinel. The story could use just a little bit of editing where the wording got a little confusing, but otherwise this is nice. +1 internet. EDIT: I especially enjoyed the ending and Legendary ending. Well done.[/quote]Glad you enjoyed it. I know what you mean on the wording... I'm working on the sequal now, hopefully someone will help me edit this time so that nothing will be confusing the next time around...
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Great, but is this a game script or movie script, can tell the difference =) But the only thing i dont like is the way you made the pilot Michel that flew the Spartans to surface such a jerk, he was cool till the end in the novel.
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Cliffhangers make me....a little....yeah. In a good way. But this was very good, [i]very[/i] good! Although I dislike the name Dante for some reason, maybe from some fantasy game that I'm not a fan of. Just reminds me. lol.
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Just finished reading it, so far it sounds great! As an appreciator of the "expanded" halo universe (Books, overall story canon, etc.) I can definitely appreciate the work you've put into including many of the lesser known and cut elements, like the other flood pure forms and guardian sentinel. The story could use just a little bit of editing where the wording got a little confusing, but otherwise this is nice. +1 internet. EDIT: I especially enjoyed the ending and Legendary ending. Well done. [Edited on 07.16.2009 10:16 AM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Skiracer93 fail of epic proportions because you have no life...[/quote] I think that you should come back to this post when you figuire out an intelligent insult.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Hi lm AsyIum you need to get a damn life instead of wasting your time making crappy halo stories. its jackasses like you living in your mothers basements writing halo crap that im being taxed for so we can sustain you on welfare[/quote] You my friend are a degenerate -blam!- that has nothing else to do but sit in your mothers basement throwing your crap at people cos you're to much of an ass to get a girlfriend or get a life even. The irony in what you said is that you're the jackass and nobody supports you.
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wow what a great story you did AMAZEING on everything
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] MATCLAN Just finished reading this (meant to get round to it a couple of weeks ago :-P ) and must say that I'm impressed. The story fits nicely in with what we already know from the books and games and has a very nice cliffhanger at the end. I would definitely read any sequals. Very well done.[/quote]Thank you =) So the cliffhanger wasn't too abrupt? Wouldn't want to make anyone throw their mouse at thei computer screen... haha. Maybe I will collaborate with people on any sequals (I have the base ideas and storyline in mind, but it would be nice to be able to split the work next time). Are you interested in writing?
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You're my new Halo-verse hero :) [Edited on 07.11.2009 9:08 PM PDT]
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Impressive.......most impressive.
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That was an epic story, I hope that the actual game is that good. My favorite line has to be [quote]"You know... us ODSTs { he gestures toward his men. } were trained to drop into hell... { he grins. } You Spartans were trained to climb back out."[/quote] AWSOME! [Edited on 07.09.2009 9:31 AM PDT]
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I only post a link to it in threads which cannot grasp the concept of an alternate perspective on the battle of Reach, and think that we have to play through the eyes of Fred. I just want to show an example of what an alternate prespective could be... I only post a link in a very small portion of my posts, where applicable.
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Hey, like I said before, great story. But seriously, you've been advertising it in almost every post of yours in this forum. Stop advertising it so much, it kind of ruins it. [Edited on 07.09.2009 6:36 AM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AttestedHippo Your script is really epic!![/quote]Thanks! What part was your favorite? I would love to play through THE SUBLIME TRANSCENDENCE... and the Pelican run would be an amazing replacement for the classic warthog run.
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dude thats an awsome idea (probably better than how bungie will make the campaign:(
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Your script is really epic!!
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Crusader Maybe you can also use team GAMMA because they were on REACH aswell, red team lost contact with them.. maybe something with them[/quote]In my script they link up with the Gammas, who are actually the ones who retrieve the NOVA bomb which Silva and his men hid after S259 saved him aboard THE DIVINE RETRIBUTION.
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Good to see that you are still avidly involved with the Halo-verse, Cheehwawa.
