Randal the Vandal was killed in a boxing match.
Atheon actually means atheist, or godless so Atheon isn't actually a god.
Crota is too glitchy to be a god.
The Queen's brother got drunk on Post-Golden Age alcohol after the Queen let you into the Black Garden.
There is only one option left. A Giant Shank...
[spoiler]...With Randal's brother Sandal driving it[/spoiler]
English
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Dear god I want this so badly
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RNGesus help us........