JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

#funny

originally posted in:American Gangster$
Edited by thehunter6875: 3/16/2015 4:54:25 AM
3

"F*€king omnigul" by me

Hey guys. I wrote a short story when I was bored on my 5 hour drive back to school. It's called "F*€king omnigul." Words in "quotes" are destiny words, while some basic destiny words people already know arent. My friend said it was hilarious. Read it and let me know what you think. [b][u]F*€king omnigul[/u][/b] So me and the omnigul are having an affair. Don't tell Crota or he will become enraged. Anyways we are in my cave, she takes her chest piece off and boy does she have a nice chest. Got some nice spirit bloom when I opened it. I took my legendary hand cannon and put it in her empty weapon slot. She starts playing with my big ghallajorn but it wasn't going so well because she had "deathsingers grip." The kissing wasn't so legendary either because she had "Dragons breath." With "her right hand" She put my ghallorn into her empty weapon slot next to my hand cannon. I finally got to raid the omniguls loot cave. A little later, The omnigul was working on a bounty called "all on the head" so she had to deepthroat my gally too. I gave her some "super good advice" and told her to play with the tip if she wanted my "Wolfpack rounds" on her ugly face. After both of our "super energies" were fully charged, she told me to "plug one" of her empty holes so I did with my fist of Havoc. This bitch was literally "up for anything." After that, I invited my crew members to our session to join in on this "sweet business" my friends atheon & oryx came by and we ran a train on the witch. She called oryx the "black hammer"because his sword was so big. We all used a black wax and we got 69000 glimmer after we killed her with our huge sword penetration. Before she passed away, her "last word" was "that was the biggest necrocasm of my life." Ain't that the "truth!" She used her resurct and came back. She spawned in right on my ghallorn. I shot 8 rockets at the omnigul therafter and the Wolfpack rounds exploded all over her face. She screamed happily just as a witch should. This whole orgy wasn't really a "time on target." I took a break since my ghally was out of ammo. Atheon jumped in with his "unfriendly giant" and played "hide and seek" with the omnigul ass, atheons new nickname is the "bun slinger." Orxy wanted to explore the witches cave again but she didn't have enough radiant energy for that "big rig." So she gave him a "polite denial." Orxy still had to use his super before he left so he shot the omnigul in the face with his icebreaker 6 times and she said "I can't see I'm legally blind" after -blam!-in the omnigul all night, my "caballs" were done. Atheon and orxy both thought the omnigul was a hooker so they payed her 69 strange coins for the night. After that, they got a "1 way ticket" back to Uranus. We went to the gas station to fill up my sparrows tank. Since I put a lot of my "ether seeds" into the omniguls empty slot, we had to get plan B so she wouldn't have any acolytes in 9 months. The store was out of plan b so we had to use a "plan C" aka the "ether eater" which cost me 950 glimmer, way too much! I could've got a heavy ammo synth for my ghallorn ;). I had to buy the plan c tho, I didn't want to be "against all odds" tho and get the omnigul pregnant. Still can't believe she "tkoed the first round" I only have "three little words" to describe last night. Great -blam!-ing night! My ghost filmed the sex scenes "for the people" especially so Crota would know his best friend, father, and some "stranger sword" we're inside his wife! ™ - Hunter R.

Posting in language:

 

Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

You are not allowed to view this content.
;
preload icon
preload icon
preload icon