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7/31/2007 3:04:00 PM
28
Halo 3 Poem
During the school year I had to write a [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonnet#The_English_sonnet]English Sonnet[/url] for my langue arts class. Being the fanboy I am, I wrote it on Halo. Some of my fiends said it was good and should post it hear on Bnet. Now, out of boredom, I am.
Halo 3 Sonnet
The Chief heads to Earth to finish the fight.
As a Spartan trained from age six to kill,
Even the Covenant can’t stop his might.
He must halt the Ark or all will be still.
The Covenant race to the human home,
Following the Great Journey they had planned.
*Here to find and activate the Ark dome,
And the rings that they do not understand.*
Under the African sand the Ark waits,
Powers more valuable then all gems.
The secret that it holds will seal doomed fates,
Yet it can protect those that it condemns.
Without Cortana the Chief still defends,
Like she said “This is the way the world ends.”
The one thing that bothers me is the part about “Ark dome” because it is not a dome. I only put that in for one more syllable and a rhyme, and I have tried to make new lines to replace it with but they never work how I want them to.
Comment and give suggestions if you like it, or if everyone thinks this is stupid just let this thread die.
*Alternate lines by AHMB:
crossing barren lands and braving sea foam
to activate rings they don't understand
[Edited on 07.31.2007 9:03 AM PDT]
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Well, thank you for all the positive comments. Lets see if this can get started again.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Slaker117 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AHMB How about replacing the 'ark dome' and the following line with: 'Crossing desolate lands and jutting sea foam, To activate the rings they do not understand.'[/quote] Thats pretty good, but for my poem to be an English Sonnet (and just for consistency) there needs to be exactly 10 syllables per line.[/quote] then you could change it to white sea foam (i think thats ten syllables) 10/10 [Edited on 07.31.2007 9:34 AM PDT]
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I like.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AHMB 'crossing barren lands and braving sea foam to activate rings they don't understand' 10 syllables per line now. [/quote] Thanks, I like that, I put it in my OP, but I am still deciding if I should put it in my poem or not.
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'crossing barren lands and braving sea foam to activate rings they don't understand' 10 syllables per line now.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AHMB How about replacing the 'ark dome' and the following line with: 'Crossing desolate lands and jutting sea foam, To activate the rings they do not understand.'[/quote] Thats pretty good, but for my poem to be an English Sonnet (and just for consistency) there needs to be exactly 10 syllables per line.
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Good Job man! 10/10
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9.5/10 maybe 10 outta 10, either way its great.
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How about replacing the 'ark dome' and the following line with: 'Crossing desolate lands and jutting sea foam, To activate the rings they do not understand.'
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good poem i give it a 10.1 out of ten lol
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Slaker117 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] rockmaster pretty good, only the line that says "yet it can protect those that it condemns", there really is no proof of the ark having a shield world/dyson sphere of any kind so far. so that line should be changed to something like "and all of those near it will be condemned" idk, im not much of a poet, but still great work[/quote]Yeah that part is speculation, but I put it in there for irony, and I liked the way those words sounded together. [/quote] I think it makes perfect sense. It protects (from the flood invasion), those who it condemns (it protects them from the flood by killing everything). Nobody said it was the perfect solution. Its the only solution. I think its actually a great line.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] rockmaster pretty good, only the line that says "yet it can protect those that it condemns", there really is no proof of the ark having a shield world/dyson sphere of any kind so far. so that line should be changed to something like "and all of those near it will be condemned" idk, im not much of a poet, but still great work[/quote]Yeah that part is speculation, but I put it in there for irony, and I liked the way those words sounded together.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Slaker117 During the school year I had to write a [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonnet#The_English_sonnet]English Sonnet[/url] for my langue arts class. Being the fanboy I am, I wrote it on Halo. Some of my fiends said it was good and should post it hear on Bnet. Now, out of boredom, I am. Halo 3 Sonnet The Chief heads to Earth to finish the fight. As a Spartan trained from age six to kill, Even the Covenant can’t stop his might. He must halt the Ark or all will be still. The Covenant race to the human home, Following the Great Journey they had planned. Here to find and activate the Ark dome, And the rings that they do not understand. Under the African sand the Ark waits, Powers more valuable then all gems. The secret that it holds will seal doomed fates, Yet it can protect those that it condemns. Without Cortana the Chief still defends, Like she said “This is the way the world ends.” The one thing that bothers me is the part about “Ark dome” because it is not a dome. I only put that in for one more syllable and a rhyme, and I have tried to make new lines to replace it with but they never work how I want them to. Comment and give suggestions if you like it, or if everyone thinks this is stupid just let this thread die. [/quote]pretty good, only the line that says "yet it can protect those that it condemns", there really is no proof of the ark having a shield world/dyson sphere of any kind so far. so that line should be changed to something like "and all of those near it will be condemned" idk, im not much of a poet, but still great work
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i give it a 9.573464 out of a possible 9.573464
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that poem was good i give it a 9/10. this guys is good too [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Salvorix Nice, I give it a 9.9/10 The only better poem (10/10) is this hot poem I wrote for Masterchief/Halo 3. [b]Roses are Red Violets Are Blue I love Halo 3 And Masterchief does too[/b][/quote]
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*snaps* groovy man.
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Nice, I give it a 9.9/10 The only better poem (10/10) is this hot poem I wrote for Masterchief/Halo 3. [b]Roses are Red Violets Are Blue I love Halo 3 And Masterchief does too[/b]
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9000/10 THAT WAS AWSOME!
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|O/10
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Allhailtheflood Man that's cool. What did your teacher say?[/quote] She gave me a 24/25 and asked what was all this Halo stuff. (we had like 5 Halo fans who read a Halo book for class, out of a class of about 20)
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Ooh rah! :]
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10, i guess, but my mommy said not to succomb to peer pressure. it makes you smoke. XD
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Man that's cool. What did your teacher say?
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1o/10
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10/10 - Nicely written
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Excellent another 10/10, I just feel like I'm at school again..no offense.
