my ship never shows up on any loading screens since the patch
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If you are on the Xbox One platform you will need to clear your cache. The reason this occurred is because you are not signing out of the game correctly. First completely unplug the system for one minute then plug back in. This will clear the cache. Log back into Destiny. If your ship still does not appear sign out of the game (the one above change character). Once you are at the Destiny screen push the Xbox home button. Then push the button to the right that has the three lines on it. A menu will appear. Go to the bottom of the menu where it says quit. Select quit. That will take you fully out of the Destiny game and disconnect you properly from Bungie's servers. When you log back in your ship will show up. Regards.