I know many of you have probably read my posts and enjoyed hearing stories about my 1337ness. I know you enjoy my stories about feats you could never acheive such as my Gruffball Killtacular, but at the same time an amazing player like me can relate to the common player in the hatred for the scum known as Generals. They are all boosters and cheaters.
Now on to my announcement. First I must warn you, I will always be here on the forums for you people. For the people that are always awestruck when they see an amazing player such as myself, but soon you will also be able to see me elsewhere. For I, Naked n00b, have decided to become a pro Halo player. Yes, I will be joining the MLG. During my time at MLG I hope to take it away from the noobs that have overcome the great sport known as Halo.
I will give you a little background on my pro career though. My team name is GR8 Strippin. I do not have any other teammates, but I do not feel that to be a problem. I am confident that I can defeat the MLG noobs. My first major task however, will be to level the playing field. When I go to the MLG I know I will be facing some of the biggest noobs around, but to outplay them I must convince MLG to change the rules.
First off, I must get them to change the starting weapon. Everyone knows that only BR noobs use the BR. Who wants to battle some one from long range when you can charge and melee with an AR? The next change I will make is to replace the snipers with shotguns. I know the Mauler already functions as a close range weapon, but as preciously stated close range weapons such as the AR, shotgun, sword and hammer all take an immense amount more skill than the pitiful sniper.
Next I will fix the scoring. No longer will you kill all the people you can, only to have a guy in the corner with a skull score 200 points. No longer will you spend all game looking for the skull only to realize the other team found flags and scored with them some how. There will only be one kind of score.
Next up I will add Gruffball to MLG. I know many of you probably have never heard of Gruffball, but it has been a Double Exp weekend a few times. It uses the ultimate skill combo of the hammer and sword and I once got a Killtacular in it. It involves a Orange player blowing up to score points, but I'm not completely sure how it works.
The next added playlist will be Infection. I am the best on this gametype. I even have a secret hiding spot on the Pit that allows me to be super pro. I think this will be a lot better than the current MLG playlists because it doesn't let noobs sit back with long range weapons and pick people off.
Now you may be wondering, Why have you decided to become pro now Naked? We always knew you were super 1337. Well the answer is simple. I have seen many people in Matchmaking with MLG in their gamertag. I have even beat one or two of them. Most of the ones I saw were either General cheaters or BR/Sniper noobs. Now I'm sure there are a few legit ones out there. I have run into some amazing MLG AR players, but I'm just saying, these MLG players were garbage. They inspired me to take over the MLG circuit and become the best player the game has ever seen.
I know I will be missed on the forums. If there are any MLG Infection or Gruffball players out there that would like to watch a true MLG All-Star, don't hesitate to drop into my custom games.. I will be doing a lot of practicing in custom games and since I am the only one on my team I will probably be the only ones in my games. When I make it big, I will never forget the people that first supported me here on the Bnet forums.
[Edited on 07.06.2008 8:42 AM PDT]
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I hope your joking... lol XD
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10/10, would read again. Lets see how many idiots take the bait.
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Good luck proving you're the best of the best. Remember: Don't aim for the head, they're expecting that!
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That killtacular was pure money
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You don't need skill to be pro, you just need alternating capitalization in your GaMeRtAg. ¬_¬ Oh, and don't forget to call people badkids and blame all your problems on the BR.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] The Waffle King You don't need skill to be pro, you just need alternating capitalization in your GaMeRtAg. ¬_¬ Oh, and don't forget to call people badkids and blame all your problems on the BR.[/quote] Quoted for -blam!- truth
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LOL, nice thread. I want to see the people who think that this is real.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] R1BS [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] The Waffle King You don't need skill to be pro, you just need alternating capitalization in your GaMeRtAg. ¬_¬ Oh, and don't forget to call people badkids and blame all your problems on the BR.[/quote] Quoted for -blam!- truth[/quote] *giggle* Noooooo. ;)
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uh my bro got a kiltacular in grifball wats the big deal?
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*Reports *Gets popcorn *Waits for morons who will think he is serious
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HG ShotPack 10/10, would read again. Lets see how many idiots take the bait. [/quote] Just wait, there will be many.
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Hahaha. I give this thread a B+. Good work.
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Gr8 Strippin, man that made me laugh
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] LaPapaDangereux uh my bro got a kiltacular in grifball wats the big deal?[/quote] THere is number one.
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Oh yeah naked noob? ONE VERSUS ONE! Right now! Bring it! lol. You're being a bit harsh to the real pros but I could not agree more about the wannabes. Gr8 Strippin, MLG Grifball Champions. That's priceless.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] LaPapaDangereux uh my bro got a kiltacular in grifball wats the big deal?[/quote] our first victim.
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Pfff, your plan sucks. My plan is to enter the MLG circuit, but mod so my player model will be a grunt... I'll be the only safe one because the people I'm playing will be looking for spartans..not grunts
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I just peed a little thanks for making my day before I go to work.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] LaPapaDangereux uh my bro got a kiltacular in grifball wats the big deal?[/quote] ROFL And OP, You kind of put Gruffball instead of Griffball
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] sumuglychick_2 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] LaPapaDangereux uh my bro got a kiltacular in grifball wats the big deal?[/quote] ROFL And OP, You kind of put Gruffball instead of Griffball[/quote] Our second victim.
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Same, especially considering I'm a Str8 Rippin fan
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MLG Gruffball. Like Grifball only with more manhandling. lol.
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To the OP; You've just wasted your time writing all of that! I didn't find that funny at all nor amusing. But what will be amusing is how many people will flame you back.
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Pure gold. Well-done.
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This type of post was funny the first time you did it and even then brought the semblance of a smile to my face for mere milliseconds. Everything since has been nothing short of a trainwreck.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] SanitysEclips3 Same, especially considering I'm a Str8 Rippin fan[/quote] lolololololololol moded.