The Canadian ([i]Drunkis Upnorthus[/i]) is a friendly but often solitary species that lives in the harsh northern region of North America. While not native to the region, it is believed they migrated from warmer climates around 200 years ago in an effort to keep their beer cold. The country is known for it's two glorious seasons: winter and bugs, and the climate is perfect for growing hearty grains like barley and rye; which the Canadians promptly turn into beer and whiskey. Canadians have simple dietary needs, subsisting mainly on Kraft Dinner, back bacon, and, of course, smokes. On special occasions they enjoy moose burgers and poutine. Canada has two official languages: English and French - although truthfully, even French people can't figure out what the hell those Quebecers are saying. In their leisure time, Canadians enjoy fishing (and drinking beer), snowshoeing (and drinking beer), and snowmobiling-known locally as Ski-Dooing- (and drinking beer). Canada's main imports are tobacco, macaroni, and Chinese people. Their chief exports are oil, fish, and comedians. Canadians are perhaps best known for ending every sentence with the term "eh?" - as in "Whoa! That's a beauty touque eh?" While the origins of this term are not fully understood, many believe it stems from the spelling of the country's name: C-eh?-N-eh?-D-eh? Footnote: touque is the Canadian word for knitted wool hat.

All Canadians have a pet moose. Snapple fact #148

Why is your bacon not bacon?

1. Canada had the internet over 80 years ago, but no computers, servers, or CAT5 cable so they packed it up. 2. The Vikings were the first to discover Canada, but they forgot to bring it back. 3. Canadians don't have to "show your work." 4. Canadians consciously experience time in quanta. 5. Bafflingly, most Canadians are Freshwater. 6. Evidence of Canada can be found in the pharaohs' tombs. 7. Canada is still technically part of Pangaea. 8. Coins?? 9. You could stretch out Canada from the Earth to the Moon, and that would be pretty cool. 10. Free Healthcare. edit: 11. Canadians believe it's not butter. 12. An apple a day keeps the doctor away...in Canada. 13. NBC's popular crime procedural television series "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit" is set in the city of New York, which is not in Canada.

Sorry. Sorry. My fault friend. You should watch the short film called "Canadian Kung fu" on YouTube. Though it is not a short film, and very little, or rather improper, Kung fu is displayed. But life will make sense....

Canada is our fashionable hat, while Mexico is out dirty underwear.

There's a lot of satire in this thread but my favourite truth. Is that when Americans travel, they all wish they were Canadians.

Your cops are called Mounties and ride horses. WHY DO WE LET YOU BE A COUNTRY!

I know Canadians are never rude on xbox live

Wish I knew more canadians..... if the Mexican influx was r e placed by canadians America would be a better place

Please take Celine Dion and Justin Beiber back.

Robin used to live there and made the hit song "Let's go to the Mall"

Your flag has a leaf on it.