I would initiate my perfect crime. First, I would go to a remote island 200 miles off the southern florida coast, I would swim there. Then, I would find a large palm tree on said island, take a confidential amount of steps to the left and right, and dig up a box. Inside that box would be a knife, poisonous pills, some bacon, a radio, and an m60. I would eat the bacon and wash it down with some saltwater because I am a manly man. Then, I would make a raft, throw the radio in the ocean because I forgot batteries, and use my 27 and a half years of naval experience to find my way to russia, where I would meet an old friend named Vladimir Kozlov. He had a plane for me, but at a high price, 200,000 dollars. I then would pull out my knife, pull the blade off the handle, and pour some diamonds out of the handle, trade them for the plane, and fly to London. I would then live there for 20 years. I'm 80 now. I fly back to America, I have a son, who knew. I go to kentucky, then to fort knox. I pull out my m60, shoot all the guards, go to the vault, dismantle my m60, inside it is a sword, I pull of the blade, in the handle there is a knife, I pull if its blade, inside the handle is the key. I open the vault, and take as much gold as I can. Then I proceed to buy 200 gallons of egg nog.