Sometimes at work while I'm checking out people's items I whisper to myself. "Oh god, what have I done."
You should see the people's faces as they frantically look at the monitor to see where I -blam!-ed up. Then I scan the items quicker so they can't read fast enough. Then they get all freaked out and spend an hour reading their receipt before they realize that nothing happened.
So what do you guys go to screw with people?
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Double negatives. It doesn't work as well in text form and you have to think about what you type. When you are saying it, you can just go crazy.