Just last night I finally got enough engrams to raise my Cryptarch faction just one more level. Eagerly, I rushed to the mailbox to pick up his precious gifts. I raced back to the Cryptarch once I had received them, hoping beyond hope that he may be able to decode just one of them into something great. With bated breath, he unraveled the mystery of each item and I was not disappointed, for there in my hands lay the fabled gun; SUROS Regime! I thought to myself "My God, I am so glad that I didn't spend all of that time and effort collecting Strange Coins to buy it from Xur when instead I was able to use my pure skill to get it randomly." Knowing that I am terrible in the Crucible (seriously, check my stats), I could not help but think about the massive bump in skill this single item would grant me. I would now be god-like, if these forums are anything to be believed. Then an epiphany dawned on me; such skill should never be granted to one person so suddenly. To do so could greatly upset the natural order of things. Shedding a single tear, I dismantled SUROS Regime into upgrade parts not even allowing myself a single match in the Crucible to feel the almighty power of the only weapon capable of raising a pure scrub up from nothing to a mighty beast. [spoiler]This is a true story, that I made up (to paraphrase Daniel Tosh)[/spoiler]