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10/22/2014 1:25:32 AM
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A timeline of the French Revolution.

Just in time for the new Assassin's Creed game, or for that book report you're avoiding! Act I [spoiler]The poor French people are angry because the rich French people are fat and have lots of money. They decide to solve both these problems the quick and easy way; beheading them. After all the rich people were killed, the country was left to the devices of poor farmers, and other smelly people. This was a problem. End of Act I.[/spoiler] Act II [spoiler]The poor, smelly French people who were left in charge then crippled every aspect of French society, from the social ideals to the economy. National economies can't be based on potatoes and disease, now can it? The poor people were confused and angry, until a savior arrived; another rich person whose name I can't/won't write down. End of Act II.[/spoiler] Act III [spoiler]The poor, smelly Frenchmen gather in their caves and decide that it would be a good idea to give this rich guy power over their country, as they were ill-fit to rule anything larger than a corn field. They make this rich person King of French People, and then promptly kill him and his family when things don't get better by the end of their communal smoke break. The poor people return to where they started. End of Act III.[/spoiler] Act IV [spoiler]The poor, smelly French people decide they've had enough of rich, fat people ruling them, so they create a committee of rich, fat French people to rule them, led by a guy whose name sounds like "robe spear". This committee promptly goes crazy and starts killing thousands of the poor, smelly French. End of Act IV.[/spoiler] Act V [spoiler]This committee of rich, fat, and crazy French people stays in power until ANOTHER group of rich, fat, and crazy French people overthrow and kill them all. The poor, smelly French are now exactly back to where they started. This changes when the newest group of rich, fat, and crazy Frenchmen are overthrown by a midget with a god-complex, named Nipple Leon. End of Act V.[/spoiler] Act VI [spoiler]The midget Nipple Leon promised change to the poor, smelly French. He declared himself a god/dictator/king, and made no further changes. He then began to invade other countries that had the nerve to touch France's non-existent borders in an event called the Nipple Leonic Wars. This made other countries angry, and they promptly formed a gang that beat up the midget king's country before sending him to a far-away island where Nipple Leon got an STD from an animal and died. That concludes the timeline of the French Revolution. END.[/spoiler]
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