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10/20/2014 4:39:00 PM
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DLC voice pack idea: Replace Dinklebot with Wheatley

We all know how lame of a character our ghost is. Peter Dinklage may be an awesome actor, but it's clear he wasn't invested in the game. That's why I think Bungie needs to make a deal with Valve and have Stephan Merchant voice the dialogue for the ghost. That would make Destiny much more interesting. I've even written some dialogue for him. Take a look. [i]In the beginning of the game[/i] Wheatley: Hello? HELLOOOOOO? Oh FANTASTIC! You're awake! Wow, I honestly didn't think that'd work you know. Wow, being a ghost is incredible!!! *flies around ecstatically* WOOHOO! I JUST REANIMATED THE DEAD!!! LOOK AT ME!!!! *comes to a stop in front of the guardian.* This is AMAZING! The speaker told me I could reanimate the dead, but I didn't actually believe him! "Nutters! You can't bring the dead back to life!!!" I thought, but here you are, not dead!! Wow...this is.....simply amazing. Oh, I'm sorry guardian, you must be confused. You've been dead for a long time and I just brought you back to life. *distant roar* Umm....I'll have to explain our situation later. For now, we should run towards that wall. *enters the wall* Wheatley: So, I've been floating around the moon for centuries, losing my power. Then BOOM, next thing you know, I'm a ghost! Crazy isn't it? One moment I'm floating powerless, the next moment I'm a ghost for the traveler! I don't even know what a ghost is, but I'm LOVING IT! Oh, sorry. Um......yeah, I'm detecting movement all around us. OH GOD, WHAT WAS THAT?!? Oh, that's just a rat. Sorry! Just a rat. OH GOD!!!!!! THAT WAS NOT A RAT!!!!!! RUN!!!!!!!!!! Oh wait, it left us alone. ....scary. Oh look! There's a gun over there! You should probably pick it up! [i]skip forward all the way to the first hive encounter[/i] Wheatley: Wow, we can't see a thing. Hold on.....GAH!!!!! *turns on light* Doing that scares the bejesus out of me every time! Oh well, now at least we can see now. Wheatley: You know what? I'm detecting lots of movement ahead. I have a really really really bad feeling about this you know? Why can't the speaker ever send us anywhere nice? It's never "Go here and inspect this tropical beach." or "Go camping in the mountains." Instead it's always "Go inspect this eerie derelict building with scary monsters!". I mean, I guess technically that IS our responsibility, but you'd think they'd give us a brea.. OH GOD, ZOMBIES....I MEAN THE HIVE!!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO SHOOT THEM...WELL, SHOOT THEM IF YOU HAVE TO, BUT THEN RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *the next few minutes, Wheatley continues to scream frantically while the guardian kills the hive.* Wheatley: Well then....I knew you could handle it. I was just screaming.....to encourage you. I wasn't really scared.....well....nevermind. [i]skip forward to the Devil's lair strike mission, the first crescendo event with the terminal[/i] Wheatley: Well...I'm going to have to hack this terminal. I think I'm getting better at this, so I shouldn't have any problems this time. Let's see........oh boy........umm......no trouble, no trouble at all...this should be easy....he....hehehe....*nervous laughter* Wheatley: I may have just accidentally set off an alarm! I'm so sorry! I'll try to fix it. EEEEEEEEERGH!!!!! I JUST MADE IT WORSE! NOW THERE ARE TWO ALARMS!!!!!! WHY DO THEY HAVE TWO ALARMS?! I MEAN, ONE ALARM SHOULD BE ENOUGH, BUT TWO ALARMS?!? *starts getting into an argument with a Fallen AI in the terminal. Wheatley: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT ALLOWED IN? I AM A FALLEN! LET ME IN!.......SO WHAT I DON'T LOOK LIKE A FALLEN! I'M A NEW TYPE OF CYBORG FALLEN DISGUISED AS A GHOST!!! I'M LEADING THESE FILTHY HUMANS TO THEIR DEATH AS AN OFFERING TO YOUR...I MEAN OUR GOD, SEPIKS PRIME! COME ON!!!!! wait what? Prove...I'm a fallen? What, DO YOU WANT ME TO BLOW MY COVER? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M A MORON?!? NO, COME BACK! COME BACK! ARGHHHH!!! *slams his body into the terminal and causes it to short circuit, the gate opens. Wheatley: WOOHOO! I'M AWESOME!!!! (I will write more later)
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