JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

Destiny

Discuss all things Destiny.
Edited by Leopold Stotchh: 11/6/2014 11:51:46 PM
291

All Hail Broom Sweeping Robot

All Hail Broom Sweeping Robot! (BSR) Everyone thinks that the Tower is ran by the Vanguard. I am here to enlighten the unenlightened. The Vanguard are the false prophets. Do not let their propaganda sway you and lead you to believe otherwise. They do not keep the tower running. It is the honest, hard-working robot that sweeps the tower day in and day out. Have you ever seen him take a break? I THINK NOT. He has kept the floor clean since ALPHA as he cares about your well being, guardians! Imagine the amount of foot traffic that goes through that corridor. Albeit he sweeps the same tile over and over, I CAN GUARANTEE YOU, that if we were ever to step on that piece of future-tech tile that he sweeps, IT WOULD BE the ABSOLUTE cleanest tile you would have ever stepped on. Dead Orbit wishes to leave Earth? NO says the sweeping robot. There are floors to be cleaned. Future War Cult believes that war is inevitable. NO, says the sweeping robot. Why waste time on war when there are floors to be sweeped? New Monarchy seeks a way to bring back the Golden Age? HA! Foolish that their answer sits in the corridor between the main landing and shipyard. The true path to the Golden Ages is through immaculate cleanliness! Do you know how Lord Shaxx got his name? "Shaxx" is five letters. "Broom" is five letters. There are two letters of the same letter in Shaxx, same with Broom. Lord Shaxx is secretly an enlightened priest that secretly worships the true deity. However, now is not the time to expose the truth. How else do you think Shaxx gets his armor and weapons to give out to guardians? It is bestowed upon by the Broom Sweeping Robot. Crucible marks are secretly marks of BSR (Broom Sweeping Robot). The connections are there guardians, open your eyes. Broom Sweeping Robot has been there since the beginning. He has seen many things, guardians. He knows the truth. He knows what has been cut from this game, what was added. He has SEEN THE TRUE VISION OF DESTINY! Worship him! For he shall bestow upon and grant us vision of this True Destiny. We have been sheeps, guardians. Do not be lead astray and become sheep. Instead, become part of the prophecy! We must manifest our Destiny. Join me as we worship the True Leader of the Tower that will bring us back to the Golden Age. "Watch your step, Guardian" You know what, Broom Sweeping Robot? I indeed shall watch my step. EDIT 1: There have been talks among the nonbelievers inquiring about the puddles of water rampant around the Tower. I am here to enlighten and speak from the Book of Windex. Section: Lemon Pledge The puddles are water. Water represents life. There will be a time when puddles must be mopped, in which metaphorically means that life will require cleansing. However, now is not that time. Cleansing the world requires a starting point. That tile he is cleaning, is the the single entity in which represents the median of all of what we have known to exist. In other words, that tile he is cleaning is literally the "center of the universe". There will be a time for mopping, but first comes the sweeping. EDIT 2: Remember fellow guardians, of the way of the broom. The darkness is filth, and all filth must be purified through immaculate cleanliness. Become the windex, and together we shall form the broom in which the Broom Sweeping Robot sweeps. Amen. EDIT 3: Atheon is Time's Conflux. The Broom Sweeping Robot is the Traveler's Conflux.

Posting in language:

 

Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

View Entire Topic
1 2
You are not allowed to view this content.
;
preload icon
preload icon
preload icon