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9/29/2014 3:38:03 AM
42
Reason for server trouble
The Cryptarch got wind a few hours ago about Bungie's planned patch to give the appropriate items for the level of engrams. In protest the Cryptarch stripped naked and covered himself in his own feces. He then grabbed a plasma fuel soaked rag and stuck it in the Queens personal transport ships fuel supply and lit it. The whole tower became an incendiary torch which also houses the servers for the gameplay.
The Cryptarch was last seen on a speeder heading to the Cosmodrome with purple and yellow engrams in tow.
Viva la resistánce!!!
English
#Destiny
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I could sit in front of the Cryptarchs stand for hours, just listening to his ramblings. He tells the best stories.
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2 RepliesThe Cryptarch is working for the Darkness.
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That was not HIS feces... #ewwwww
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LIZARD SQUAD ON YEA FORHEAD
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Oh I so needed a great laugh today! Cheers Smerks and thanks!
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3 RepliesThat crazy Cryptarch. CRYPTARCH : "I had a feeling you'd choose that one.^^" ME : "It's the only one I had, jackass!"
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12 RepliesDeveloping Story The Cryptarch has been located. The Queen has issued a new bounty. Return the Cryptarch dead or alive and cleaned up (the Queen really resents the odor of tower pheasant's excrement). In reward you will receive 5 chest pieces, 6 helmets and a chance at a sniper rifle.
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3 RepliesThe cryptarch has been skimming off the top for a while now. He switches out your good engramms for fakes. Then decodes crap for you and sells legendary and exotics for himself
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Cryptarch scandal, perfect.
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1 ReplyLIZARD SQUAD ON YEA FORHEAD
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do not visit the forum if you want to read some usefull destiny news ...
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4 RepliesEdited by Decayed Zombies : 9/29/2014 4:49:37 PMBrace yourself for the Xmas Noobs!
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The L.A.P.D. has been called in to help with the pursuit with their nightsticks at the ready. We suspect that since the Cryptarch is a thief they will beat him.. taze him. beat him more. and possibly shoot him if they deem him "Of Color" The Channel 8 News helicopter is following as closely as possible in order to film this horrifying event... (we hope)
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1 Replyhttp://destinyherald.weebly.com/ I can take this down if it bothers you!
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1 ReplyThis just in: After being ineffectively tazed (immune to Arc), the Cryptarch was last spotted on a stolen sparrow heading at a walking pace down the ruins of the Los Angeles highway. Multiple Guardians are in slow speed pursuit.
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5 RepliesThis just in: Cryptarch believed to be hiding in the newly empty cave that recently was the scene of hive genocide at the hands of a group of guardians. Authorities are looking in to the matter.
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Edited by Matt71: 9/29/2014 3:24:06 PMCrypatarch needs to get shot in the face
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It's probably because he touched the Allspark, I heard him talking about seeing symbols in his dreams.
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Plot twist: The Cryptarch is a member of Lizard Squad.
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2 RepliesLeader of the darkness = Cryptarch
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Cryptarch joined lizard squad
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"personal transport ships fuel supply" So that's what they're calling it these days...:-P
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4 Repliesalso cuz all dlc plans got leaked and all destinations are known now google it
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2 RepliesBecause this game sucks.
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8 RepliesEvery enemy has it's back story why they are evil. Except the cryptarch. He did it for the lolz..
