I actually asked a girl out for the first time the first day back to school this semester.

I'm a girl

I'm addicted to destiny ;~;

I saw the Queen naked.

[i]I sell meth out of the convenience of my handy dandy fannypack.[/i]

I'm not actually a 27 year-old dude. [spoiler]I'm 28 now.[/spoiler]

That I gave this the 2,000th comment.

I only wear nike shoes

[quote][spoiler]okay....[/spoiler] [spoiler]I know this will be a shock...[/spoiler] [spoiler]But...[/spoiler] [spoiler]and keep it real...[/spoiler] [spoiler]Be serious...[/spoiler] [spoiler]Like seriously serious[/spoiler] [spoiler]Stop smirking I know you are![/spoiler][spoiler]Like really...[/spoiler] [spoiler]Stahp....[/spoiler] [spoiler]Pls... stahp...[/spoiler] [spoiler]Okay that's better...[/spoiler] [spoiler]Anyway... as I was saying...[/spoiler] [spoiler]I like bananas[/spoiler] [spoiler]Yes[/spoiler] [spoiler]Stop laughing![/spoiler] [spoiler]Oh... yeah...[/spoiler] [spoiler]Soooo....[/spoiler] [spoiler]What now?[/spoiler][/quote]

I'm spiffy. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

I would like to tell something very dark here about me. I like to grab giant buckets like the ones with Spider-Man stickers on them and it rips if u take them off. Anyway I get those nice buckets and go completely trash butt naked and then I look down at my man part and open my mouth then twist backwards then I *opens mouth to say the last word than hears a hard stomp almost deafening. I jump up in shock and look into the space that I heard the noise came from. I stop in utter terror and hear a single phrase "have you see me music box" the accent was perfect thick heavy Scottish. I think to myself I only know one foul creature that makes that noise. That sound comes from the legend and his name is Walrus Walgreens. As I think the last word in my mind the door splits in half as fog slowly creeps in like Ebola. Than a large ginger man on all four legs creeps in sniffing at an impressive rate almost inhuman like. My eyes adjust to him and gaze upon his masculine body. He is completely naked and peeing at an incredible rate like he's pushing really hard and about to pop a vessel or nipple. His pupic hair is straightened as it looks like by a curling iron. Or whatever it's called. Then his hair is a straight line down the middle of his scalp all the down to his rectum and all the way back up to his mouth. Perfect symmetry I think to admire his perfect work. Then terror reaches to me, as he slowly bear crawls to me and says " I can't seem to find it no matter what I do" his accent is splendid. He starts to release liquid poop almost with no hesitation I can't believe this, wow this man is so talented and so cool. He reaches inches from by face. He's on just two legs now, impressive I think to my self. He's peeing on me now it's hot to the touch but now it's cooling over time. His amazing poop is now creeping up to my shoes and is smells like freshly cut grass. I like the smell he has a cool diet. But it's been like 10min and he's still going strong but now he's whisper very delicately. "I give you to the count of five to find me music box" I smile because I really want to hear this man ls music. It's probably prince or the Cory in the house theme song or something. So I say ok and in and instant the Scottish miracle leaps on to my wall as his constant shitting and peeing intensifies to rates I never seen before on this planet. So he counts down fast and I run around sloshing in his chunky liquid grass with corn the corn is oddly blue I want to ponder this more but I need to find his box of uptown funk. He stops counting and says "I warned yea laddie" I said to this perfect beast "warned me of what?" He leaps so fast and I sits on my face. His butt is sweating like a mother and his cheeks are round as if it he has belt sanded his own cheeks for this arrival. I am being drowned by freshly cut liquid grass corn and his rectums hairs are tightening around my neck and he is laughing and pushing harder as the liquids are forced down my throat. All I hear is "oops spaget cigarette juice" then I get swallowed into darkness and my last thoughts are "I wouldn't have wanted it any better." [spoiler]I will never forgetti[/spoiler]

[i][b]POST REDACTED BY AUTHOR[/b][/i]

I'm actually a pretty cool guy