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Edited by Kylestien: 9/18/2014 2:43:18 PM
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Destiny News! (Parody of Destiny Stuffs, feel free to join in!)

Hello, this is Kylestien of Destiny News! In today's news: Master Rahool: Cryptarch or Scammer? Hive Prince goes on record, laments loss of priceless relic Cabal declare war on Vex And House Of Exile lobby for official Fallen House Status Master Rahool: Cryptarch of Scammer? In the headlines of todays news, guardians of all shapes and sizes are complaining that Master Rahool, the resident Cryptarch, is trading low grade items for high quality engrams. Several others have reported getting the wrong type of armor, with one Hunter in particular being mad about getting a Warlock cloak. Master Rahool has yet to comment. Hive Prince goes on record, Laments loss of Priceless Relic. One of the remaining Swarm Princes Of The Hive has gone on record lamenting the loss of The Sword of Crota, a priceless Hive Artifact. Said to have killed thousands of guardians and weilded by the horrifying warrior Crota himself, the sword was destroyed when a unnamed Guardian stole it anc used it to kill 3 Swarm Princes. The Guardian remains at large. Cabal declare war on Vex Cabal Commander Valus Ta'aurc has officially announced that The Cabal have declared total war upon The Vex. When asked for a statement, he said "FOR THE CABAL, WAR IS A WAY OF LIFE. WE SHALL WAGE IT ON YOUR SPECIES IN TIME, BUT FOR NOW THE VEX PROVE A GRATER CHALLENGE! THEY SHALL NOT HAVE MARS!" upon which he shot the reporter dead. We got a response from The Vex, but we cannot translate it. House of Exile lobby for Official Fallen House Status In a surprising move of Fallen Politics, The Fallen House of Exile, known for holding the remments banished from other Houses, have attempted to gain official House Status. The Fallen Houses Of Devil's and Kings reject the movement, but in a surprising twist they may have support from The Fallen House Of Winter coming their way. The Winter Kell Draksis, has one on record saying he finds the House of Exiles exploits "interesting and worthy of note." That's all for now, stay tuned for more.
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  • On the lighter side of the news, some new Guardians got their wires crossed when told about a great "farming" spot in Old Russia. They were found by several other Guardians planting vegetables outside a small cave. When asked what they were doing the responded, "We're trying to plants some turnips but these damn Fallen keep running out of the cave kicking up our seeds and dropping these stupid colored orbs.". They were laughed off the scene and could not be reached for comment. Back to you Kylestien.

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