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This thread is inspired by another: view original post
Edited by Kylestien:
9/18/2014 2:43:18 PM
28
Destiny News! (Parody of Destiny Stuffs, feel free to join in!)
Hello, this is Kylestien of Destiny News! In today's news:
Master Rahool: Cryptarch or Scammer?
Hive Prince goes on record, laments loss of priceless relic
Cabal declare war on Vex
And House Of Exile lobby for official Fallen House Status
Master Rahool: Cryptarch of Scammer?
In the headlines of todays news, guardians of all shapes and sizes are complaining that Master Rahool, the resident Cryptarch, is trading low grade items for high quality engrams. Several others have reported getting the wrong type of armor, with one Hunter in particular being mad about getting a Warlock cloak. Master Rahool has yet to comment.
Hive Prince goes on record, Laments loss of Priceless Relic.
One of the remaining Swarm Princes Of The Hive has gone on record lamenting the loss of The Sword of Crota, a priceless Hive Artifact. Said to have killed thousands of guardians and weilded by the horrifying warrior Crota himself, the sword was destroyed when a unnamed Guardian stole it anc used it to kill 3 Swarm Princes. The Guardian remains at large.
Cabal declare war on Vex
Cabal Commander Valus Ta'aurc has officially announced that The Cabal have declared total war upon The Vex. When asked for a statement, he said "FOR THE CABAL, WAR IS A WAY OF LIFE. WE SHALL WAGE IT ON YOUR SPECIES IN TIME, BUT FOR NOW THE VEX PROVE A GRATER CHALLENGE! THEY SHALL NOT HAVE MARS!" upon which he shot the reporter dead. We got a response from The Vex, but we cannot translate it.
House of Exile lobby for Official Fallen House Status
In a surprising move of Fallen Politics, The Fallen House of Exile, known for holding the remments banished from other Houses, have attempted to gain official House Status. The Fallen Houses Of Devil's and Kings reject the movement, but in a surprising twist they may have support from The Fallen House Of Winter coming their way. The Winter Kell Draksis, has one on record saying he finds the House of Exiles exploits "interesting and worthy of note."
That's all for now, stay tuned for more.
English
#Destiny
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Shocking news coming in this evening as we report an uncovered assassination plot against Master Rahool, the Tower Cryparch. In the wake of the scandel that rocked the Tower involving Master Rahool hoarding Legendary and Exotic engrams, several Guardians were taken into custody today as a plot to assassinate Master Rahool was uncovered by the TSF, Tower Security Forces. The Guardians in question are going to be detained for an undetermined amount of time as this level of crime in the Tower is unheard of. While crimes of this nature do happen in the city, citizens have voiced their anger. Some saying that they are merely disappointed in the behavior of the Guardians, others saying Rahool deserves punishment for his crimes against the Guardians, and that it would be fitting for them to carry out his punishment. The TSF had this to say, "These Guardians the are victims, not the perpetrators in this crime. These men and women risk there lives on a daily basis. They trusted this man [Rahool] to decrypt the engrams from their daily exploits into the areas outside of the city, Earth and beyond, and what they got in return was substandard equipment and grief. While these particular Guardians did respond in an extreme manor, we are dedicated to helping them recover from their psychological trauma. Due to this mans [Rahool] scams, many fireteam leaders have reported a drop in trust amongst teammates, resulting in a greater loss of life." The TSF is providing counseling services to any Guardian who is experiencing trust issues after the Cryptarch Scandel. We here at Destiny News would like to let all our Guardians, out in the field and here in the city, know that we still trust you and appreciate everything you do, not only for us but for all mankind. This is Saans Shadow with Destiny News wishing you a good night!
