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Edited: 8/23/2014 5:50:11 PM
So guardians, are you getting so desperate that you are recruiting children? I encountered one of your youth who could have been no more than 10 cycles old. He had a foul mouth and plenty of spirit. But his bravery was not born out of experience, but out of naivety. He thought he could "own my ass" by charging at me blindly. But his screams were music to my ears when I stuck my blade into his chest, lifted him up into the air, and threw him against the wall. There, he proceeded to go delirious, repeatedly shouting "WHAT THE -blam!-?!? THIS GAME IS HACKED! MY DAD WORKS FOR BUNGIE!". I silenced his noise by liberating his head from his body and impaling it on a pike, with the spike going through his mouth. His horror was so great, that I swear I could still hear him screaming after his headless body slumped to the ground in a pool of it's own blood. A few seconds later, his twin brother appeared and ran towards me hurling the same juvenile battle cries, but I disposed of him with ease. Then more of his identical brothers ran towards me, all screaming. Eventually, the last one appeared, but he was crying. He was the smartest one because he shouted "I HATE THIS! I CAN'T WIN! I -blam!-ING HATE THIS! LAG!" before disappearing out of existence. YOU ALL SHOULD FOLLOW HIS ADVICE AND GIVE UP WHILE YOU STILL CAN!

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