>no health care
>500 000$ + tips for an adhesive bandage
>whites are a minority
>massive debt
>houses made of cardboard
>uses overground electricity
>can't get elected unless you believe in Bronze Age fairy tales
>slavery and mass murder of indigenous people
>kill brown children in wars for cheap oil
>-blam!-ing imbecile adults, idiotic spoiled entitled younger generations
>play a "sport" where large black men wear armour and grab each others' genitals
>no culture
> island mentality stronger than Japan's
>shit education
>works like a mule but can’t take vacations
>take credit for winning both world wars when you only played a minor role
>assassinates citizens with drones
>shoots kindergardeners on a yearly basis
> obligatory 30% tip in all restaurants or public facebook shaming
>average citizen owns at least 3 guns
>still uses imperial system
> use gas guzzeling 5 miles per gallon minivans for 15-minute shopping trips
>still tortures
>still has death penalty
>quarter of the population is in prison
> legally allowed to murder any salesman as soon as he sets one foot on your porch
> for that purpose blind and insane people can legally own assault rifles
>banana republic levels of income inequality
>high crime despite wealth
>high poverty despite wealth
>injecting chemicals into ground for cheap gas
>majority of population denies evolution
>draconian levels of military spending
>mutilate their babby's genitals
>3rd world murder rate
> so democratic that they only have 2 political parties
>govt regularly starts a war every few years, typically with faked evidence for cheap oil
>govt can legally tap your phone
>govt can legally know what websites you visit and what books you got from the library
>govt can search your room if you drew a picture of a weapon
> overall delusion that all of this makes up the greatest country on earth
EDIT: For those of you who wish to learn more about American culture, I highly recommend this documentary on the subject (linked above).
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I chuckled internally. This thread isn't as funny the fifth time around, though.