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Ironyimation

Ironyimation

7/25/2014 3:59:39 PM
I have to ask, Bungie. Why do you spite me? Your level 20 instant killing hive monster and mysterious sentry turret of death cannot stop me. My fireteam saw all the hive raise their hands up in victory after creating a bullet Hell of large, pulsating, purple dildos fly at us. But that did not stop us. After an hour of rushing our Nomads to death in a flaming Hell and finding the dead 'Human" ghost, I remembered the one most important phrase in my life. "Over the river, and through the woods, to hive breeding ground we go". After stating this my the man team of Warlock Scrub Lords made it into the small, snow covered rock. Under constant fire from purple dildos, and large blue dildos we made it into the entrance of the ship. Thinking we were safe, we turned around to see the mysterious void turret fired a volley of Axion Bolts and killed us all. 20 minutes later we made it back into the entrance, one by one we made it into the cave. My squad mates let of a sigh of relief, but I didn't. I have made it through here before and I knew what was waiting for us. One of squad mates let off a manly war cry and ran off into all the Thrals and Wizards. "Leeroy Jenkins" RIP Hosmerd. After 10 minutes of careful planning we made it into a small cave to the left where the invisible wall of no aggressive mobs was located. The Thrals backed off but that wasn't it, the Wizards gave zero craps and threw a giant poison cloud of "nope" into the cave. We all died. We respond at the entrance of the cave and went to the right this time. We all made it out, through your bullet Hell of agonizing pain. Thanks for the two ghosts. But wait, it isn't over yet. After fighting our way back out of the refinery, a Bungie mod said "LOL NOPE". I heard a confused squad yelling into his mic. He was mumbling about cursed, hallowed, chosen, and ascended things. We survived. The pasty white, cursed, Thrals didn't kill us and we survived the rain of blue plasma from the magical shield Knights. GG Bungie, GG. Can't wait for the full game.

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