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7/8/2014 4:59:06 AM
22
How to overcome deep-rooted anger with someone?
I broke up with my ex many months ago, yet I still have a lot of anger with her. I think it's important to note that I was the one who ended the relationship -- otherwise these feelings of irritation and anger could be misconstrued as feelings of jealousy or longing. They are not.
This person isn't even in my life anymore, yet whenever I see her, I get angry. When I hear something about her, I get angry. And when I get angry, I obsess over the anger. I think about how much she used to anger/upset me, and then I stay angry for a long time.
How do I overcome this? It's not healthy for me to constantly be this upset. I have no interest in ever talking to her again, and I do not miss her. I just want to not care instead of being angry.
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This is a really hard thing to do. It took me a year and a half of reflection and thinking, but I was able to overcome someone who had tormented me for ten years. I realized that forgiveness is a two-way street. Forgiveness is when two people are willing to share equal parts in the process. What does this mean? The one(s) at fault must own their mistake, but those who have been wronged must accept that mistake as well. Also realizing that you can only do you, and you can't change the other person's view or side, is another part of forgiveness. Understanding will always produce empathy.
