Look... I was supposed to come home from Mexico a week ago but I got my passport stolen or something. I went to the embassy and they said I was to tan to be an American and told me to -blam!- off. Now I'm stuck here, I have a kid at home, and I need to get the hell out of here! Can anyone give me advice on how to back to America? I've been living in this guys basement named Juarez for a week and all he feeds me is rice since he wants the normal food. Any advice?