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3/29/2008 10:13:31 PM
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The Misadventures of Captain MacMillan (A Joint Fan-Fiction)

Hey, y'all. As the title suggests, this story is based around Captain MacMillan, who is "famous" for his role in Call of Duty 4. It is, however, largely focused on the Halo universe as well. This fan-fiction is going to be written by both myself and Uberdawg, who will likely have the first chapter up tonight. This prologue is simply a backstory for MacMillan. 'tis here: [b]The Misadventures of Captain MacMillan[/b] [i]Prologue[/i] Who is Captain MacMillan? Where did he come from? How did his mere existence lead two Xbox Live gamers to write a piece of literature based around him? Those first two will be answered as we progress through this prologue. That third one- well, it’s not like we really had a choice. It’s Captain MacMillan! Rumour once had it that MacMillan descended from Hercules (as were the Spartans of the Battle of Thermopylae, coincidentally). Others speculated that the man just simply created himself. However, after careful, scientific deduction, it has been proven that Captain MacMillan originated from radiated dog feces. And that does not make him any less human than the rest of us. Probably more so, come to think of it. During his early years (if that's what you want to call them), MacMillan was raised by a pack of wolves within the abandoned city of Chernobyl. With their expertise, he became stealthy, cunning, and learned not only how to speak with a Scottish accent, but also how to wield an M21. MacMillan loved his family. Every night, he would bring home the rabbits that he had hunted that afternoon, just to see the look on their faces (which, being wolves, was almost always the same). One morning, however, while MacMillan was fetching breakfast for his family, the entire pack was murdered by a boy and his father (why they were in Chernobyl to begin with is beyond me). It was but a mere two minutes later when they both heard the phrase, "Oi, suzy!" Neither the condition nor the whereabouts of these two are known. MacMillan currently serves as an SAS (Special Air Service) officer. [Edited on 03.29.2008 2:20 PM PDT]
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  • [I]Chapter 15: Not a Bang… (That’s What She Said)[/I] [b]Desert of the Ark[/b] [b]2552[/b] “SNIPER!” No sooner had MacMillan shouted the warning than the six men split up, Privates Jackson and Washington and Corporal Gaz heading towards the helicopter wreckage and firing aimlessly into the Forerunner ruins, whilst MacMillan, Price and Kovacs sprinted towards the nearby Elephant. “That the lass we were supposed to chase?” Price demanded as the trio took shelter in the shadow in one of the Elephant’s massive treads. “Oi, so it is. She’s a real –blam!-, that one is.” “What in the hell is a ‘-blam-‘, anyway, sir?” “Are you daft? A –blam!- is a female dog, you…” “What, you mean a b!tch? Since when did ‘-blam-!’ replace b!tch?” MacMillan heaved a sigh of frustration. “Now, look, you’re circumventing the –blam!- thing…” Kovacs chose this moment of confusion to butt in: “Dude, I don’t get this –blam!-.” Both of his allies glared at him, and it was all MacMillan could do to contain his powers over spontaneous combustion and save the Corporal’s life. “Look, sir, what’s our plan here?” Price brought the petty conversation to its end, reminding everyone there were still bullets raining, though Suzy was now shooting at Gaz’s group holed up behind the Sea Knight. MacMillan spat into the sand as he thought silently. While considering their options, an infernal droning of radio static invaded his ears. As his eyes followed his ears, he noticed the Arbiter’s corpse again, or more specifically, the radio the warrior still had attached to a belt on his waist. For a piece of state of the art Covenant communications equipment, it was of unusual size, and MacMillan could only conclude that it had to be a very long range one. “Cover me, I’m goin’ to get that radio!” he barked to Price and Kovacs, both of whom readied themselves at the corner of the Elephant. “Go!” MacMillan shouted as he ran, feet sinking deep into the sand and slowing his pace, to the Arbiter’s corpse, grabbing the radio off of the belt as fast as he could. As he ran back into cover, he felt bullets flying past him, and he watched as Kovacs and Price fired back wildly. All three men huddled back behind the tread, and MacMillan focused his attention on the radio. Working the dial, he focused in on one signal… [I]“Psst, Jim… I’ve got the Mudkipz pr0n I heard you like…”[/I] MacMillan quickly turned the dial again, zeroing in on the next signal. [I]“This is Sangheili Fleet Commander Rtas 'Vadumee… Arbiter, do you hear me?”[/I] MacMillan recognized that voice, and it was one he was happy to hear. “Half-Jaw! That you?” A pregnant silence filled the radio. [I]“Who is this?”[/I] “Captain MacMillan, lad. The Arbiter is dead, and I’m at the Ark… I was at High Charity, remember? I killed Tartarus.” [I]“Yes, of course. I hear gunfire on your end… are you in need of assistance?”[/I] MacMillan bit his lip temporarily, then his logic beat down his pride. “Yeah, I am, I’m at…” [I]“Nevermind that, human, I can tell the position of the radio. Just keep it with you. I’ll have a Phantom down to you in 5 minutes.”[/I] “Solves that!” Price said cheerfully as MacMillan thanked Half-Jaw and shoved the radio into his Endless Bag of Tricks. “Price, we need to get together with the others, then let Half-Jaw glass this whole area, it’s the best way to handle this once and for all,” MacMillan reasoned. Captain Price nodded his consent, but Corporal Kovacs took another opportunity to ask a profound question: “Sir, what’s a half-jaw?” "Christ, lad, you remind me of my parrot from college!" Price barked, as he then turned toward MacMillan "What about the girl, sir? Not all of us are gonna make it to the helicopter with that little bugger takin' pot shots at us." "You lads stay here," replied the Scotsman "I'll take care of Suzy." The Captain counted to three, then quickly rushed out of the cover provided by the Elephant. Surprisingly, even in MacMillan's case, not a single bullet was fired at him as he made his way to the top of the sand dune. Upon scaling the hill, MacMillan swiftly slid under a half-collapsed arcway, and into the Forerunner ruins. Again, though, to MacMillan's surprise, Suzy was nowhere in sight. As he continued down the dimly-lit corridor (with the only glimpse of light coming from the other end of the passageway), the Captain thought, could she have fled? Could she have finally come to her senses, knowing full well what punishment awaited thee who dared challenge the awesomeness that was Captain MacMillan? Apparently not, as just two minutes later, MacMillan was literally shot in the back. The Scotsman felt virtually no pain, of course, but turned around just the same. And standing behind a six foot pillar on the landing above him was Suzy herself, wielding a SRS99D-S2 AM Sniper Rifle. "Like, why is it every time I aim for the head, I always end up shooting 'em in the back? It's, like, [i]so[/i] annoying! >: (" exclaimed the young'n. "It's over, lass," MacMillan told her "You're comin' with me." "Like, not alive I'm not! >:D" Suzy replied, as she aimed her rifle (bow chicka.... Ah, forget it) toward her left foot. "Err... Don't do it?" MacMillan said, unaware of just how foolish this girl was until now. "Like, seriously, I'll do it!" Suzy barked, "Don't come any closer!" The Captain sighed, took hold of his M9 pistol, and fired Suzy's weapon out of her hands, and onto the landing below. "Now, get down here!" MacMillan demanded. "Fine," Suzy replied, rolling her eyes "You win, Cappy. =)" The lass leaped off of the platform and onto the ground floor, but as she approached MacMillan with her arms behind her back, the Captain could sense that something was not right. As MacMillan reached for her arms, Suzy sprang forward with two silver knives, causing him to fall backward, and onto the cliff edge just on the other end of the corridor. The lass crouched toward MacMillan, with the two knives just mere inches away from his neck. "Why couldn't you just let Arby and me be together, Cappy?!" Suzy exclaimed stutteringly, "We were [b]meant[/b] to be be!" "Lass, don't you try to blame this-" "Enough," she interupted "This time I came prepared. To finish the job once and for all. >: ( It's a funny world we live in. Speakin' of which, you know how I got these scars?" As Suzy began to lift up her shirt, MacMillan appropriately intervened. "No," the Captain replied "But I know how you got these!" MacMillan, using a less fatal version of his [i]Pimpslap of Doom and Terror™[/i], smacked the two knives out of Suzy's hands, and right across her cheeks. The lass shrieked as MacMillan grabbed Suzy by her hair, and then tossed her over the cliff edge, at which point she began laughing maniacally. The Captain got back on his feet, now in a crouching position, and aimed his M21 at the plummeting Suzy. One millisecond later, MacMillan fired what looked like grappling wire out of his sniper rifle. The wire caught Suzy by her right leg just as she was about to land headfirst into the canyon below, and with the strength of his pinkies alone, the Scotsman lifted the now powerless teenager back to the top of the cliff. "Oh, you just couldn't let me go, could you, Cappy? <3" said Suzy exhaustingly, as she lied near the cliff edge "You really do play by the book, don't you? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness, and I won't kill you because.... Well, you're you. "I think you and I," Suzy continued "are destined to do this forever." "What're you talkin' about, lass?" MacMillan asked "As far as I'm aware, this is our first and only fight. I mean, you really thought that you could carry this [i]Dark Knight[/i] parody all the way up to this point?" "Can't blame a girl for tryin', Cappy >.>" Suzy shrugged. By the time that MacMillan had made it back to the "crash zone", the Sea Knight was fully operational again, with each of his men all inside and ready to go home. With duct tape wrapped around her mouth, hands, and feet, Suzy was tossed into the back of the helicopter, accompanying Kovacs and Gaz, as well as Privates Jackson and Washington. As the Sea Knight began to raise altitude, MacMillan (who was sitting in the cockpit, along with Captain Price) searched for Half-Jaw's signal on the radio. "Oi, Half-Jaw! This is Captain MacMillan. Do you read me?" [i]"....Affirmative, Captain. What do you need?"[/i] the Spec Ops Commander responded. "We're on our way out," the Captain said "Go ahead and glass this place, will you?" [i]“I shall beat the Forerunner structure like a drum!”[/i] Half-Jaw thundered epically. “Uhh, alright, lad…” [i]“Or perhaps I shall beat it like a rented mule…”[/i] Half-Jaw mused. “Look, shouldn’t you be firing the cannons by now?” [i]“No, no, I shall beat it like I beat your mother’s—”[/i] “SHUT UP AND GLASS IT!” [i]Epilogue: Unfinished Business[/i] [b]Voi, Kenya, East Africa[/b] [b]2553[/b] Fleet Admiral Terrence Hood stood before over half a dozen Marines, with the wing D77H-TCI Pelican Dropship prompted just behind him. "For us," said Hood, removing his white cap "the storm has passed... the war is over. But let us never forget those who journeyed into the howling dark and did not return. For their decision required courage beyond measure; sacrifice, and unshakable conviction that their fight... our fight, was elsewhere. "As we start to rebuild," he continued "this hillside will remain barren, a memorial to heroes fallen. They ennobled all of us, and they shall not be forgotten." The Admiral put his cap back on, as the seven marines lined about ten feet infront of him raised their Battle Rifles, each firing a single round of three shots into the air. [i]Continued Next Post[/i]

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