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TheSpiderChief

TheSpiderChief

10/5/2012 1:32:22 PM
[b][u]PART I[/u][/b] He could barely hear a thing except from the ringing and the muffled sounds of shouting and gunfire. It was Aelason's first mission with Team Snow and already things were going sour. Team Snow were supposed to be on a recon mission, an "easy job for the new guy" their CO had said, but he was now dead when the M831 Transport Warthog took a plasma grenade to the belly. The resulting explosion had left the Warthog flipped onto its side and with more than a quarter of Team Snow out of action either dead or unconcious. Aelason slowly began to realise that he was being dragged away from the fighting and into the forest nearby. He looked up at the person dragging him and saw that it was a woman. Figures. Sarah was always the first to pull his arse out of the fire when it got too close, even in training when they were both rookies she was always looking after him even when he didn't need it. But he was grateful for her being at his side all of the time, he knew that if the team ever fell apart he could always rely on her. Sarah dropped Aelason on the forest floor and asked if he was alright. Aelason's ears were still ringing, he couldn't hear a word she was saying but he knew that she could understand him so he said, "I'm fine. Ears are still ringing. I've no idea what you're saying". Sarah nodded to show Aelason that she understood what he had said and she handed him her Magnum, nodded once again and ran off back to the fight. Aelason looked at the Magnum and noticed it was the M6I version. He slowly sat up, looked around, crawled to the nearest tree and rested his back on it. There were no other people with him and his hearing seemed to be getting better for he could hear things more clearly. He felt a sudden wave of anger, he wanted to rejoin the fight, to get back at the ambushers but felt it was best to just stay out of the way for now. The last thing Team Snow needed was a distraction in the middle of a firefight against the Covenant. SNAP! Aelason spun his head round so fast he felt his neck click. Something was snapping the twigs on the ground and it sounded like it was getting closer. Breathing very quietly Aelason raised the M6I Magnum to his chest and waited for the source of the noise to get closer. Aelason poked his head ever-so-slightly round the tree and saw a big blue hoof of an Elite Minor. 'A scout' thought Aelason as he withdrew his head. He was thankful that the Elite Minor hadn't seen him otherwise he wouldn't have a head to withdraw. He needed to take the Elite out but he didn't have a clue on how he was going to do it. No matter what move he made the Elite would surely see him and he would be dead within seconds; he had to come up with a plan, something that wouldn't involve killing him in the process. He closed his eyes and began to think up of a plan whilst listening to the Elites heavy hooves snap the twigs on the ground. It took a full minute before he had come up with a plan: he would have to strike from the shadows or at least strike quickly if that didn't work. All he needed was something to distract the Elite long enough for him to make his move. And that something came almost immediately after his wish. Another explosion sounded from the battle which drew the Elite Minor's attention for a short second but it was enough for Aelason to strike. Coming out from the cover of the tree Aelason fired the M6I Magnum at the Elite's hoof. The Elites shields flared as the bullet impacted on them and Aelason withdrew once again behind the tree. The Elite had his shields activated, his plan had failed and all he had to do now was wait for the blow that would indeed come. He heard the Elite roar in rage and the hissing sound as he drew his energy sword and Aelason felt the blade plunge through the tree. Aelason felt the white hot energy of the blade singe his hair as the sword narrowly missed the top of his head. Thinking on instinct he quickly got up and tackled the Elite Minor to the ground and he heard the energy sword deactivate but he never heard the handle hit the forest floor. The Elite roared in rage once agin as Aelason tried to pin the Elites arms down to the ground but the Elite was too strong and with Aelason in his weakened state he couldn't do much as the Elite headbutted him. Aelason let go of the Elite Minors arms feeling a bit dazed and the Elite struck once again this time punching Aelason in the stomach. Aelason felt the wind get knocked out of him and then he felt the Elite pick him up and throw him on the ground and Aelason heard the Elite Minor reactivate its energy sword. This was it. He was going to die. He didn't have the strength to move. He heard a burst of fire, silence and then another burst. Aelason heard the Elite Minor's shields flare as the bullets impacted on its shields and he heard the Elite roar in rage as it turned to face its new attacker. Aelason turned his head slightly and saw Sarah and three Orbital Drop Shock Troopers suddenly form a firing line and open fired on the charging the Elite. The Elite Minor was persistent too say the least; even as its shields had dropped and its body was absorbing the bullets being fired at it it was still charging in their direction. Sarah took a few steps back as she reloaded and the ODSTs did the same but the Elite was right in front of them now. The Elite Minor swung its energy sword, cutting an ODSTs battle rifle in half. The ODST swung his fist and as it connected with the Elites head another ODST aimed his battle rifle at the Elite and fired. The Elite Minor recoiled as the bullets hit it and then the body slumped to the floor with purple blood oozing out onto the orange-brown leaves that lay on the forest floor. Sarah stepped over the dead Elites body and approached Aelason. When she got to him she bent down, picked him up and said "You love finding trouble don't you?" "I don't find trouble, trouble finds [i]me[/i]" Aelason protested as he pushed her away so he could stand on his own two feet. "Either way it is best if we [i]try[/i] to avoid it. I don't think we can handle another ambush like that" Sarah said as she handed Aelason his ODST helmet. "Casualties?" Aelason asked putting on his helmet. "Half of Team Snow is dead either from the ambush or the battle which followed soon after and whoever's left is either wounded or running low on ammo" Sarah replied, also putting on her helmet. "Do we know how they managed to pull the ambush off?" Aelason asked as they joined the three other ODSTs. "We ain't got a goddamn clue" replied one of the ODSTs. "You didn't think of trying to keep at least one alive?" "All we know is they ambushed us, we fought back and we won. The Covenant that didn't die fled when they saw their numbers dwindle past our own". "I guess their ambush didn't go as planned then" one of the other two ODSTs said. "Well lets get back to the ambush site and call for evac. Gather those that aren't tending to the wounded and have them secure the area. We don't want any Covenant scouts spying on us" Sarah said to the three ODSTs and they all made their way through the forest too the edge and up to the ambush site. The ambush site was a wreck. The M831 Transport Warthog was still the wrong way up but the flames had long died out. Surrounding it were the dead ODSTs who had either been unfairly caught in the Warthog explosion or had died defending the wounded. Just a few feet away from the ambush site were the rest of the survivors of Team Snow. The ones who were wounded were either sitting up or laying down with other members of the team tending to their injuries. Sarah and the three ODSTs moved away too the rest of the team; the ODSTs gathered those who were available and they set off in the forest to secure it whilst Sarah went straight to the radio which was salvaged from the Warthog. Aelason looked at the various dead Covenant soldiers about a quarter of a mile from the ambush site, maybe he could find some clues on the bodies. It wouldn't hurt to have a look, after all, it looked like they were going to be here some time. "Kilo One-One this is Sergeant Major Redorov of Team Snow, do you copy?" Aelason heard Sarah say on the radio as he walked over too the dead Covenant bodies. "How did you know we were here?" he muttered as he looked at a dead Zealot. It didn't make sense; what was a Zealot doing here, and where were the others? Was it abandoned along with its squad? Aelason crouched down next to the body. So many questions but not enough answers. He looked over at the two grunts lying face down in a pool of their own blue blood. They had obviously died whilst trying to flee the battle, unfortunately for them it seemed that the retreat didn't work and they got peppered with bullets. He heard someone approaching him, turned his head to see that it was Sarah and when she was near him she asked "Find anything interesting?" "No" Aelason said standing up "That's the odd thing about this whole scene. We have a dead zealot as well as a few other Elites as well as the handful of grunts and a few dead jackels but what doesn't make sense is that Elite Zealot. Where is the rest of its squad?" "Aren't zealots supposed to be alone then?" Sarah asked, looking at Aelason. "It's not common to find a zealot working alone" Aelason said "On occasions they are in a group under the leadership of a field marshall which is the groundside equivalent to what they call a shipmaster or a supreme commander". "Right. So where are the others?" Sarah asked looking at the forest. "Exactly. I can't help but wonder if another attack is coming. They fled when our numbers started to outgrow their own but now they would've had the chance to regroup and coordinate a more effective attack from the most obvious place possible". Aelason looked at Sarah and then she understood. "The forest?" she said "They're going to strike again from the forest?" [Edited on 10.31.2012 11:50 AM PDT]

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    TheSpiderChief

    TheSpiderChief

    10/31/2012 7:49:00 PM Permalink
    [b][u]Part III[/u][/b] "Aelason! Get over here and provide some covering fire!" "On it!" Plasma and bullets filled the air all around the ODSTs. The remaining Covenant soldiers had regrouped and had launched another ambush from the forest as Aelason had predicted and no matter how prepared the ODSTs were no one could have predicted when they would strike. The Jackel snipers were the first to fire and the beams from their rifles cut through the air and straight through two ODSTs who were dead before they hit the ground. With the ODSTs in Team Snow getting more wounded than dying it was getting a lot harder to provide covering fire for them; it was a godsend that they had enough ammunition. "We're running out of options here Sarah!" Aelason cried as he focused the fire of his BR55 battle rifle on the points where the long purple beams were coming from. "Don't remind me!" Sarah replied angrily as she focused her fire on a trio of Grunts that were brave enough to start advancing. "Are you sure evac is on its way?!" cried an ODST to Sarahs right. "Positive!" she replied. An ODST dropped to one knee behind Aelason clutching his chest; Aelason turned around to see the ODST get back up on his feet and continue to fire his weapon at the Covenant.
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    Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander

    10/26/2012 7:23:27 PM Permalink
    Well i suggest you break it down into smaller pieces. My early stories were too huge full of text so i learned to keep it broken down to. Find a good point when you are speaking so people do not loose interest or there eye sight. Looking back on a few of my stories especially [b]Dark of Intent[/b] one and two i plan on doing a third but wanted to finish one last story before i went on with it. Anyways my point was that to keep others interested try to give the reader not walls of text but break it down further. This is constructive criticism. So find a point in the tempo of the story. Or when some one fishishes speaking. Space it out a bit more. Also the forum does not adjust to certain things so you might have to adjust it manually. No matter how well written it is no one wants to read walls of text. Thanks for understanding. [Edited on 10.26.2012 11:28 AM PDT]
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    TheSpiderChief

    TheSpiderChief

    10/26/2012 2:22:57 PM Permalink
    [b][u]PART II[/u][/b] Team River forced their way through all of the rubble that was once concrete that made up buildings. Their opponents fired blindly from the cover they were using half a mile from Team River's location. "Okay" Grange, the leader of Team River, said as he and his team crouched down behind an abnormally large piece of concrete "Threshall, Winger and Tyler, lay down some covering fire and keep an eye on the enemy position. Let us know if they start to move up". The three ODSTs Grange was talking too nodded, got up and started to fire short bursts from their MA5K Carbines. "Right, we're going to split into two sub-teams. One sub-team will keep the enemy focused on them whilst the other sub-team flanks them and takes them out, quickly and with minimal ammo loss. Is that clear?" The other six ODSTs that were listening all nodded, some even punched the padding on their chest to show that they understood. "I'll lead the shadow sub-team, Mickey and Irvine you're with me. The rest of you stay here and keep them distracted by any means necessary, hoo-rah?" "HOO-RAH!" the ODSTs replied in unison. Grange, Mickey and Irvine moved between and behind the rubble of buildings hoping that the opposition didn't see them. Once or twice they crouched down as the concrete in front of them got chipped as bullets hit it but they were convinced that it was just stray fire and that they didn't know where they actually were. Grange poked his head round the corner ever-so-slightly and saw that Threshall, Winger, Tyler and the remaining ODSTs of Team River were doing their part and distracting the enemy with whatever they had and whatever they could use. Grange withdrew his head, looked at Mickey, made the hand signal for him to move up and waited for Mickey to do so. Mickey took the lead and crawled over to the nearest ruin and signaled to Grange and Irvine that it was all clear for them to move up. Once they were all behind cover in the ruin, Grange withdrew a grenade in one hand and a M6G Magnum in the other whilst Irvine drew his MA5D Assault Rifle and Mickey his M7 submachine gun. "This is shadow sub-team. We're in position, do you copy?" Irvine asked. Grange and Mickey knew that he wasn't talking to them but too the other ODSTs. A while passed and no reply came. Irvine tapped the side of his helmet, "This is shadow sub-team. We're in position, [i]do you copy[/i]?" he repeated. He looked at Grange, tapped his helmet once again and then whispered, "Nothing. No reply". Grange wanted to come out of cover and to look in the direction of the other ODSTs of Team River too see if they were alright but he couldn't blow his, Mickey and Irvine's cover, not if his team wanted to come out of this on top. He looked at the grenade in his hand, looked at the other two ODSTs crouching next to him, pulled the pin out of the grenade and threw it. None of them heard the grenade bounce off of the concrete slab that the enemy were hiding behind but they did hear the shouts of "Grenade!" and "Run!" from the enemy and the explosion just a few seconds later. Mickey was the first to come out from behind cover and fire on the opposition; his M7 submachinegun ripped the air and anyone who was unlucky enough to be standing at the time got hit and went down almost instantly. Irvine was the second to come out with his MA5D Assault Rifle, only squeezing the trigger for short fire bursts and then Grange came out of cover his with more accurate M6G Magnum and managed to pick off the others that were either still standing and dazed or had anough concious to start fighting back. "Move up!" Grange shouted, and he and the other two ODSTs carefully approached the position of where the enemy was but found no combatants. All the people here were stunned. Irvine looked to his left and noticed the red flag that was planted into the ground. Without wind to make it flap it looked dead. "Sir?" Grange looked at the red flag and nodded, "Grab that flag Irvine. Mickey, I want you to go and see what happened to the rest of Team River. Make sure they're alright". As soon as Irvine grabbed the flag and pulled it out from the ground a womans voice sounded in the air, "Capture the Flag training session complete" she announced "Removing stun effect. Team River leads two points to zero against Team Landslide". Grange looked around and saw the fallen ODSTs of both teams struggle to get back up. Grange smiled inside his helmet, ODSTs were as tough as nails but even they couldn't shake off the effects of the stun rounds that easily. He looked down and saw the commander of Team Landslide sitting up, "I'm surprised you didn't see our flanking maneuver" he said, holstering his magnum and extending his right hand to help the fallen commander up. "We had a different tactic in mind" he grunted as he accepted the hand and stood up, "We were hoping to at least take out some of your guys before moving up. But it seems that we need to pay a lot more attention to our surroundings". "We did think that you had spotted us at one point" Grange explained, "Bullets chipped away at the concrete which we were hiding behind". "Must've been stray fire" Team Landslide's commander said as he went to help up one of his fellow soldiers. "Yeah, that's what we thought ..." Grange started but at that moment a womans voice came from the tannoy. "Team River report to the briefing room immediatly". The womans voice didn't sound automated like the previous voice they had heard and Grange had certainly never heard that voice before. "You heard the woman" Grange said to his team over the comm-channel in his headset, "Lets go". Thirty minutes later Team River were all sitting down on concrete-wooden benches with their helmets off and waiting for the woman who had called them to enter the briefing room. The briefing room was chalk white, had no windows and only one door. The big table that was just a little way in front of the first row of benches was a projection table which projected various images and important information for those soldiers about to go on missions groundside. The white door opened with a hum and there stood a woman, early thirties, with brown hair and cold blue eyes as though they were made of ice. She walked into the room in a stiff manner, stood in front of the projection table with her hands behind her back and waited. Grange narrowed his black eyes. He had never seen this woman before; who was she and what was she doing here? She was obviously high up in the chain, a captain maybe? "Gentlemen" the woman began. "There are two women in this team as well" muttered a blonde female ODST. Grange smirked, Helena didn't like it when only the majority of the gender was addressed. "My name is Captain Elizah DeFan. When addressing me you will address me as either 'Captain', 'Captain DeFan' or 'ma'am', do I make myself clear?" "Yes ma'am" the ODSTs replied. "Good" Elizah said matter-of-factly, "Now to the matter at hand", she tapped the projector table once, waited for a few seconds and then tapped it again twice. This time a few images appeared. One showed a small UNSC Warthog with ten black dots and what looked like a Pelican just taking off, another showed what looked like a Covenant Corvette in orbit and the third showed what looked like the Corvette exploding, "This image is from a drone we have orbiting Kaliah. As you can clearly see there is some very unusual activity ..." her sentence faded away as Grange held up his hand in a lazy fashion, "And you are?" she asked rather coldly. "Warran Grange ma'am, commander of Team River" Grange said. "Very well Grange, you have a question?" "Yes ma'am. Those black dots on the image there, are they marines or innies?" "They're ODSTs" Elizah said. "And did they or anyone else destroy that Corvette?" asked Tyler on Grange's right. "No" Elizah said, "From what we can tell it just self destructed". "How is this in relation to our guys on the ground?" asked Grange. "Take a look" Elizah replied and she tapped the projector table twice again and brought up another image. This image showed that the Warthog had been destroyed and that there were only seven black dots instead of ten. The seven black dots were what looked like to be in a firefight against some other black dots. "This image was taken about ten minutes ago. When the drone caught the Corvette we were called into the system, we are now orbiting above the planet. Your mission is to get down there and extract those other ODSTs in case those Covenant soldiers decide to strike again" she said pointing at the black dots, "The Pelican Kilo One-One is waiting for you. Get those soldiers out of there". A while later the ODSTs of Team River were heading down to the planet Karliah in Kilo One-One. The pilot explained that there was originally a UNSC space station here which hovered just above the planet as well as a UNSC ship which went by the name of Outback. "The Outback was assigned to protect the space station" the pilot said "But when it entered the atmosphere of that planet the ships electronics and systems began to go haywire. The captain ordered everyone to evacuate when it became clear that the ships would not recover and then, without warning, it exploded. Those who managed to get out went to the space station and stayed there for a while but then that damned Corvette showed up and, well, as you can probably imagine that without the Outback there to defend it the station was a sitting duck and so we had to evacuate that. We've been staying on that planet ever since, say, where'd that Corvette go?" "It exploded" Grange said. "Just like the Outback? Well I'll be damned. Something in the air doesn't like the bigger ships it seems". "But the smaller ships can pass through? Like Pelicans?" "Oh sure, Pelicans, Long and Shortswords, hell, I've seen Phantoms flying around". [Edited on 10.26.2012 11:57 AM PDT]
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    TheSpiderChief

    TheSpiderChief

    10/21/2012 10:46:44 PM Permalink
    [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Wolverfrog Good effort, keep it going, but you'll have to do something special to make a human-Covenant war story be interesting now.[/quote] This is going to go beyond just the Human-Covenant war. As the various parts are released there will be many questions that will want answering. Like the lone zealot in this part for example.
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    Wolvers

    Wolvers

    10/21/2012 10:42:30 PM Permalink
    Not bad - the human-Covenant war's starting to feel a little dated now, though. I know with the next book of my fan fiction I'll be progressing the story into the realm of the Reclaimer trilogy. I wonder if most will stick to the human-Covenant war period - I mean, it is safe and full of opportunity. Quite easy to understand the premise, whereas with the new canon you need to know a whole load of information. Not to mention concluded so there's little risk of contradiction. But then, the constant risk of knowing your entire story could be ruined by a single line in a future book or game is what makes fan fiction writing fun for me. I wrote a rather big fan fiction a few years ago that served as a sequel to Halo 3; that's been completely shot to pieces now, obviously. But I read through it again the other day and enjoyed myself - it's my own personal little sequel, and no matter what happens in the Reclaimer trilogy, a tiny, stubborn part of my mind will always think that John crashed into Sanghelios after Halo 3. It'll be interesting to see what happens after [i]Halo 4[/i] releases - how the ratio of fan fics shift. Anyway, I went a bit off-tangent here. Good effort, keep it going, but you'll have to do something special to make a human-Covenant war story be interesting now.
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    TheSpiderChief

    TheSpiderChief

    10/21/2012 10:25:00 PM Permalink
    [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Spartan1995324 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] TheSpiderChief [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] welder1stdegree Perhaps space the paragraphs, but pretty cool stuff. I look forward to the follow up, if that's your plan.[/quote] I did space them out like authors do in books but it appears that bungie.net doesn't like that. When I continue it later I might have to edit it.[/quote]I always thought that every time someone speaks there has to be a new paragraph?[/quote] Many authors have their own layout of a page. If you compare at least 5 different books you'll see what I mean.
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    Manny

    Manny

    10/21/2012 5:21:06 AM Permalink
    [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] TheSpiderChief [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] welder1stdegree Perhaps space the paragraphs, but pretty cool stuff. I look forward to the follow up, if that's your plan.[/quote] I did space them out like authors do in books but it appears that bungie.net doesn't like that. When I continue it later I might have to edit it.[/quote]I always thought that every time someone speaks there has to be a new paragraph?
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    TheSpiderChief

    TheSpiderChief

    10/19/2012 11:22:24 AM Permalink
    Okay guys Part I of Enter Team Snow is now complete. No plans for a Part II as of yet. -edit- Part II of Enter Team Snow will begin sometime next week. [Edited on 10.19.2012 2:37 PM PDT]
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    Arbitor5
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    TheSpiderChief

    TheSpiderChief

    10/18/2012 10:26:48 PM Permalink
    [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] TheZealEffect I loved it, that was great! :D[/quote] I'm glad you like it. It is my first Halo fan-fic.
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    TheZealEffect
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    TheSpiderChief

    TheSpiderChief

    10/5/2012 6:13:36 PM Permalink
    Just a note to people, I will keep on editing the story (adding parts on) but I'll leave them at cliffhangers ;D
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    TheSpiderChief

    TheSpiderChief

    10/5/2012 2:09:25 PM Permalink
    [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] welder1stdegree Perhaps space the paragraphs, but pretty cool stuff. I look forward to the follow up, if that's your plan.[/quote] I did space them out like authors do in books but it appears that bungie.net doesn't like that. When I continue it later I might have to edit it.
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    welderman

    welderman

    10/5/2012 2:06:54 PM Permalink
    Perhaps space the paragraphs, but pretty cool stuff. I look forward to the follow up, if that's your plan.
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