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MyNameIsCharlie

MyNameIsCharlie

10/4/2012 5:05:38 PM
Listen up. OK, I see too many threads asking about girl advice, or talking about the "friend zone." What I have come to realize is that the Flood has no idea what to do when it comes to the matters of the opposite sex. Now, I haven't lied, I am probably in the top 5 oldest people here on this site. That means I have been around the block once or twice. So I have decided to give advice. 1) Attitude. This is the most important thing you can have. Noting can make or break a deal with the opposite sex quite as much as your attitude. People, not just women, like someone who is mature, sensitive and confident. Especially confident. No one likes the person who doubts their every move or hides from groups. Now, with females, confidence is nearly everything. You should be able to talk to someone without apologizing for your mere existence, and be able to state clearly what you want, how you plan to get it, and what you will do. No need to over do it. Taking this too far just makes you a douche, and no one likes those either. 2) Physical Appearance If you are too skinny, or overweight, that does not mean you are forever alone. But you should dress accordingly. No one wants to see your lack of biceps or front-butt in all its glory. So dress in a manner that compliments your body shape. As far as the style goes, I won't be giving advice. All I will say is that you dress as all of your peers do. Don't be the guy dressed all in black, or the one dressed like you are on your way to a rave. If you want to work out, that won't hurt your chances. Too many people here seem to think that being fit is the ONLY thing that matters. Well, they are wrong. Like males, females have wide and divergent tastes in men. They like them big, little, skinny, fat, buff etc... Think about it this way, Danny Devito gets laid... 3) Talking to them. A) The first approach. Guys never know what to say to a woman to break the ice. We've tried one liners, jokes, silly songs...nearly everything. What we haven't realized is that women are just like us. Approach her the way you would talk to a guy for the first time. Don't act like she's different. It will make you feel awkward, and then she feels awkward. Next thing you know, you are sitting there alone. Talk to her the way you would anyone else. B) The conversation. If you make it past the first few sentences, you are going to end up in the "getting to know you" talk. She is testing to see what kind of person you are, and you are doing the same. The difference is in how. She is reading your visual cues. That means your body language. So, do your best to be relaxed. Don't be nervous. Now, let her do most of the talking. Use "Active Listening." That means you let her do most of the talking, though you participate in the conversation. Nod, clarify points, agree or disagree as necessary. C) Asking for the date. OK, you've talked and listened. The event you are at is nearing the end...now what? Well, you will have to arrange for the next meeting. This is also the moment of truth if you were just someone to pass the time with, or if she's interested. Ask her how her time was, and follow up with a desire to do something like this again sometime. If she says she'd like that, ask her to go to something non-committal, and with friends if possible. Its a date, but don't make it seem like one. I prefer coffee with friends. It can be as short or long as you want, and you can have any number of people there. But anything usually works. Just don't make it too intimate. And NOT THE MOVIES. You don't interact, and its too "datish." 4) Now What? OK, so you did the first date, and she agreed to a second. Well, now you are dating. Have fun. Even at 37, and being married for 14 years, I'm still working out the whole "relationship" thing. Luckily so is my wife. So just let what happens happen. Now, about the "friend zone"... There is no such place. Say that you saw a woman you really liked and followed the above steps and she turned you down gently. She didn't say no, but there was no YES. Well, she said no, you just didn't catch it. If you want to be friends with her, fine. But you are the one making that call. She didn't put you in the friend zone, YOU did. My advice is to find another. Just move on. So, that's my bit. Feel free to add to it.

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