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8/19/2012 3:47:05 PM
239
Who's in the right? Me or my mother?
So, not too long ago, I decided to have a pizza for lunch. I retrieved the pizza from the freezer. I put it next to the chopping board (I like peppers on my pizza). I started to dice some green peppers when my mother walks in and turns the oven on. She then said, "Hurry up 'cus the oven's on". I chuckled and said, "Well turn the oven off then". So she then responded, "Just hurry the hell up or stop being so -blam!- lazy and turn it off yourself".
I turned to her with an expression mixed between anger and confusion. I asked her what the hell was with the attitude. She shouted at me and told me not to speak to her like that. I told her to drop the damned attitude and I wouldn't. She picked up my frozen pizza, put it back in the freezer and said, "If you want pizza you can buy your own". I carried on chopping my peppers and a few minutes later she came back with the pizza and stood next to me. I turned to her and asked what she wanted. "What? I don't get a thank you for bringing you the pizza back?" was her response. I scoffed and said, "Sorry, I didn't realise I'm supposed to be grateful when you act your age".
I put my pizza in the oven with the added peppers and sat down in the living room. Another few minutes passed and she walked in and said, "No matter what we argue about, you shouldn't talk to me like that. I'm your mother". I told her, "You may be the reason I'm here, but I'm not going to inherently respect you. I am grateful for what I have but it doesn't mean I respect you at all. You argue with me, dad and gan-gan; it isn't us. You make your own stress and anger. Lose the attitude, calm the hell down and then I'll show you the respect you want".
So Flood, whose side are you on?
[Edited on 08.19.2012 8:00 AM PDT]
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I realize we're only getting your point of view on this, but based on that, your mother sounds like she was acting childishly. You did nothing wrong.
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Your mother's. You sound very ungrateful. Did you ever consider that trying to provide for you is the cause of the stress? Jesus show a little a compassion.
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You could both be a little less rude. I mean what you said to your mother is right but you don't have to sound like such an ass when you tell her, even if she does. It could be that you tried being nicer before and it didn't work in which case I guess you're in the right on this one.
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Depends on why she was so angry. Had anything upset her earlier?
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Even though your mother's weird, I wouldn't talk to her like that if I were you.
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I'm on your side. I don't believe she deserved any sort of respect. If it were me we would of been in an all out shouting match.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] xNiGhThAwKx19 Your mother's. You sound very ungrateful. Did you ever consider that trying to provide for you is the cause of the stress? Jesus show a little a compassion.[/quote] My parents are in no way finding it difficult to put food on the table. Her main causes of stress are her workplace, the fact she smokes and the tendency she has to let herself get so angry so easily.
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Sounds like this was a tripping point. To be honest, neither of you are [i]right[/i], but she definitely seemed to have been provoked by something, whether it was you or not. They way I look at any situation, you have to give respect to get respect. This may mean you stepping up to bat, or her, regardless, it needs to happen.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Halo Fan 569 Depends on why she was so angry. Had anything upset her earlier?[/quote] No. We argue like this all the time. I try to have a discussion about something and talk about it like adults. Like when she won't give me a straight answer to a question I've asked, I'll ask again and then she ends up shouting which riles me up. Sometimes our house is like a warzone.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Sector Z 157 Sounds like this was a tripping point. To be honest, neither of you are [i]right[/i], but she definitely seemed to have been provoked by something, whether it was you or not. They way I look at any situation, you have to give respect to get respect. This may mean you stepping up to bat, or her, regardless, it needs to happen.[/quote] I don't think it was a tipping point. She always lets herself get worked up by trivial stuff.
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For once on I'm the kid's side in these parents vs. children arguments... Assuming everything you said is true... Your mother showed an over reaction to which you reacted, she, surprised by your reaction retaliated to secure her authority... Her conversation is also very off... She seems to be swaying sides from time to time, I'm not sure if she is having mood swings or if she was having a difficult time making up her mind about something. One thing is for sure, she felt her feeling of authority over you threatened and showed serious signs that she didn't want to lose it.
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Any decent parent will put their children first. If you disagree than I fear for [i]your[/i] children. It doesn't matter how tough the times are, the children should always be spared the consequences. Showing compassion if fine, but until you've actually be in a situation like that, then you shouldn't say much. Parental conflict is not an enjoyable thing and when tension rises, no one is right, and no one wins. [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] xNiGhThAwKx19 Your mother's. You sound very ungrateful. Did you ever consider that trying to provide for you is the cause of the stress? Jesus show a little a compassion.[/quote]
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Sounds like my mum. Very simple way of dealing with it, when she acts like a child, indulge her, treat her like a child.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] X Drag0n Fate X For once on I'm the kid's side in these parents vs. children arguments... Assuming everything you said is true... Your mother showed an over reaction to which you reacted, she, surprised by your reaction retaliated to secure her authority... Her conversation is also very off... She seems to be swaying sides from time to time, I'm not sure if she is having mood swings or if she was having a difficult time making up her mind about something. One thing is for sure, she felt her feeling of authority over you threatened and showed serious signs that she didn't want to lose it. [/quote] That actually makes sense. Whenever we argue I always explain why we do and that she gets too angry too easily but she just walks off because she doesn't want to hear it.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Dodge Reborn Sounds like my mum. Very simple way of dealing with it, when she acts like a child, indulge her, treat her like a child. [/quote] I like the way you think. How old are you?
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight "You may be the reason I'm here, but I'm not going to inherently respect you.[/quote] Wrong. Your mother is your mother. Respect your parents. They have given you EVERYTHING, and will continue to do so until you can live on your own without their help. Show some damned respect, even if they are having a bad day.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] The U2 RoKKeR [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight "You may be the reason I'm here, but I'm not going to inherently respect you.[/quote] Wrong. Your mother is your mother. Respect your parents. They have given you EVERYTHING, and will continue to do so until you can live on your own without their help. Show some damned respect, even if they are having a bad day.[/quote] How am I meant to have respect for someone who consistently acts immature, has an attitude and refuses to hold a conversation about issues when I try and bring them up? As much as I appreciate and am grateful for what I have and the very fact I am here, I cannot respect someone like that. It's a two-way street. [Edited on 08.19.2012 8:05 AM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] The U2 RoKKeR [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight "You may be the reason I'm here, but I'm not going to inherently respect you.[/quote] Wrong. Your mother is your mother. Respect your parents. They have given you EVERYTHING, and will continue to do so until you can live on your own without their help. Show some damned respect, even if they are having a bad day.[/quote]A good parenting method isn't claiming to be dictator and walking on the backs of your own children. I don't care what they've done for me. I'm not letting my mom step on me. Regardless of how many more years she's lived or what she's done for me, she doesn't get to attack me and be insane. You people are so weird when it comes to elders. They don't deserve any more respect than anyone else.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Slothful Koala [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] The U2 RoKKeR [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HistoryHighlight "You may be the reason I'm here, but I'm not going to inherently respect you.[/quote] Wrong. Your mother is your mother. Respect your parents. They have given you EVERYTHING, and will continue to do so until you can live on your own without their help. Show some damned respect, even if they are having a bad day.[/quote]A good parenting method isn't claiming to be dictator and walking on the backs of your own children. I don't care what they've done for me. I'm not letting my mom step on me. Regardless of how many more years she's lived or what she's done for me, she doesn't get to attack me and be insane. You people are so weird when it comes to elders. They don't deserve any more respect than anyone else.[/quote] I totally agree. My mother always claims that it's 'teenage' rebellion. However, I respect my step-dad, grandmother and (to a degree) my grandfather. She is the only family member I genuinely have no respect for.
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I'm kinda confused by what I just read, but as far as I can tell, you're both being immature, and both of you could stand to improve your attitude. You could at least be courteous and see if she improves.
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Your right. She's wrong.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Blackbird42 I'm kinda confused by what I just read, but as far as I can tell, you're both being immature, and both of you could stand to improve your attitude. You could at least be courteous and see if she improves.[/quote] Trust me. I have tried. It's got to the point where I've given up trying to hold back and explain calmy, I've just resorted to drilling it into her head that she could do with improving her attitude and acting more maturely.
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Neither. Ya'll both talk trash
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Slothful Koala I'm on your side. I don't believe she deserved any sort of respect. If it were me we would of been in an all out shouting match. [/quote]
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You're both really dumb.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Killer VVhale You're both really dumb. [/quote] No we aren't... You can't judge someone's character through one scenario, especially when that scenario is an argument... Not to mention I acted more maturely than most people would in such a situation.
