{{
`${userDetail.user.displayName}${userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode ? `#${standardizeBungieGlobalCode(userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode)}` : ""}`}}
{{getUserClans()}}
9/27/2009 8:38:30 PM
649
No wonder humanity was almost wiped out!
At the beginning of the Halo series, humanity had weapons that made the Covenant crap their pants. The standard UNSC pistol could be used as a freakin' anti-air weapon! The rocket launcher obliterated everything nearby, and the vehicles were completely indestructible.
Meanwhile, the Covenant were equipping their highest ranking Elites with fuzzy blue things that did nothing but make the humans laugh, as they used bullets to kill enemies rather than fists.
Then, the UNSC had a sudden urge to "balance" their equipment. They made it so the pistol couldn't kill a grunt, let alone a Covenant ship. They also turned their vehicles into fast-moving deathtraps that the enemy could now hijack. The only improvements that were made during this period were an improved rocket launcher that was able to lock on to enemy vehicles, and an increased budget that allowed the UNSC to get every marine a driver's license.
At the same time, the Covenant upgraded their blue fuzzy things into something resembling a sword, and it could now allow the user to fly 50 feet towards any desired target. In addition, they developed a weapon similar to the UNSC's rocket launcher, except the user could fire approximately 1 bajillion rounds before reloading.
The UNSC then created a weapon similar to the original stardard-issue pistol, but instead of making it standard issue, it was reserved for maniacs who enjoy getting launched from orbital stations for a living. This new pistol was decommissioned after six hours.
The Covenant then realized that marines were using the plasma pistol and BR55 together to kill shielded Covenant easier, so they did the only logical thing and made the plasma pistol completely useless.
In order to combat Banshees in the absence of the pistol, the UNSC designed Hornets which, while incredibly boring to fly, looked totally kick ass.
Not wanting to fall behind on the manufacturing of overpowered weapons that make no sense, the Covenant designed a seven foot tall hammer that could destroy any enemy with one hit. This weapon was of course down graded when the Covenant realized it was useful.
Only with the help of the Elites with their retarded glowy things that somehow enabled the wielder to fly towards enemies, was humanity able to survive.
Weapons in the future [b]suck[/b].
[Edited on 03.02.2011 9:49 PM PST]
-
[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] petarded2 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Mutoid Log [quote]Hornets, a slower moving, hard to operate vehicle that was only semi-competent at killing infantry units.[/quote]have you even used one[/quote] If given the choice between a Banshee and a Hornet, which one would you choose? [quote] And the M6D and M6C/S can't do crap on Covenant shields. The BR can, however. The UNSC couldn't go without having a weapon that has at least a little chance at killing an elite.[/quote] In Halo 2 the rocket launcher was the substitute for the M6D silly, not the Battle Rifle. [/quote] Don't you mean the Scarab Gun?
-
did enyone else realize that the energy sword and cods comando are a bit simmalar while reading this
-
[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncGCKsVIjuE&feature=player_detailpage#t=57s]The superior Covenant vehicles in action.[/url]
-
lolwin
-
[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Snowy Zoe Would you rather go into battle on a bicycle with a firecracker taped onto it?[/quote] Yes.
-
[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] P4ND3MIC Sh0tZ This weapon was of course down graded when the Covenant realized it was useful. ahaha this mad me laugh[/quote]
-
OP makes me smile.
-
That was before Bungie had to worry about balancing.
-
[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] raptorgear [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Three00Jews My computer just exploded from the amount of win located in this thread.[/quote] My cp exploded cause of the amount of truth in your commet[/quote] boom!
-
[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Three00Jews My computer just exploded from the amount of win located in this thread.[/quote] My cp exploded cause of the amount of truth in your commet
-
Lol, nice job. Ima save this.
-
Very funny
-
lolwut?
-
I'd actually say that the humans have more of an overinflated sense of "honor" than the Elites. They take the scope off the pistol, remove the homing capability of the rocket launcher, and give their soldiers flashlights when in fact night vision would have been a hundred times more practical. Oh, and a pump action shotgun isn't the best shotgun to wield in combat...but the UNSC's weapon designer couldn't think of an automatic or semiautomatic shotgun even five hundred years into the future...and the clip size gradually decreased with each game too. Weapons in the future...suck. Totally.
-
My computer just exploded from the amount of win located in this thread.
-
Ahh shut up, dude. Why act seriously if its a joke forum. I dont get people like you...
-
what if the author is an alien
-
It's true real world wepons now are even better than the ones in halo. lol
-
your also forgeting that the Halo 1 pistol was the only practical way of killing a hunter
-
[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] petarded2 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Telec did the humans win? yes. so what are you whining about?[/quote] Yes. But humanity only won because they teamed up with the Elites, who don't care about balanced weapons.[/quote] Exactly.
-
[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] bubba tubba 48 An interesting read, however I have to dispute a main point of your argument. Humanity obviously realized how much of a joke the Covenant forces were after they were soundly defeated on the first Halo, so they quite obviously downgraded all of their weapons in order to give their soldiers a challenge.[/quote] Actually, The Covenant was so close to winning the war with the help of they're large military armadas, they decided to upgrade all they're equipment, and decimate the final human forces on Earth and Delta Halo faster, but lost, due to the Prophets' trust in the thought of Brute barbarians replacing the mighty Elite warriors, and the fact that they forgot the one Spartan named John. Sorry to say Elites are best, but it's true in my opinion...
-
[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Silen7Sam win[/quote]
-
hmmmm win? with a flood outbreak the was narrowly stopped and covanate cruisers outside our door step and crap for trained marines?
-
I approve wholeheartedly.
-
joke class? dude that ship was pimped out, with a single mac cannon firing three at a time and point blank guns for defense, plus with john and cortana onboard, no way it was a joke class ship
-
OP - you have done a fantastic job of telling the evolution of weapons/vehicles throughout the halo games you get a cookie
