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Pink Menace

Pink Menace

3/22/2005 2:17:24 AM
James... er... Smith. Research Paper The Sociology of the Undead Although at first “Zombie Sociology” may seem somewhat of an oxymoron, modern researchers have unearthed a surprisingly intricate society among zombies. For instance, zombies tend to form large packs instead of hunting individually. Also, when they are not hunting, they tend to show affection to child zombies, and will form into “families” of young zombies, parent zombies, and grandparent zombies. There is also a pecking order when hunting, which includes the quickest zombies at the front of the pack, and the slower ones at the back. However, before zombie sociology is explained, the zombie mind must first be explained. First and foremost, zombies have a mental capacity beneath that of an insect. Zombies have never been seen using tools of any kind. Even using a rock as a weapon is beyond their grasp. This proves that the basic thought process involved in realizing that a rock is a more efficient weapon then the naked hand is incomprehensible to them. A good analogy for the mind of a zombie is that of a computer which can only perform one function, a function that cannot be altered, over and over again until its power supply is exhausted or it breaks down. A zombie performs all of its functions out of instinct- not intelligence. Now that the zombie mind has been explained, the sociology can be. One great example of undead hierarchy is the pecking order. In zombie packs, the quickest and strongest members tend to be at the front, with the slower or weaker ones following from behind. The zombies at the front therefore get their choice of food. If a zombie from the back of the pack disrupts the feeding of the stronger zombies, they are dealt with viciously. Also, zombies tend to group into families within the pecking order, with children and parents together. This may be an instinct left over from their previous life, or a characteristic passed on through evolution so they seem more human. Since zombies lack cunning, they cannot advance in the packing order through means of intelligence, leaving strength and agility as the only two deciding factors. While hunting, zombies also tend to work with each other instead of attack individually, overwhelming their prey. Since they cannot form words, zombies alert other zombies to the presence of a human or other prey through moans. After the prey has been killed, all but the bones are devoured. Zombies are normally very protective of their food. However, when food is plentiful, zombies will sometimes share the most nutritious parts, such as the brain, with other zombies. This is done by simply not retaliating when the intruding zombie attempts to eat from the sharing zombie’s prey. Thus, at a first glance a group of moaning zombies may appear to simply be coincidentally at the same spot and moaning for no apparent reason, there is actually an evolutionary reason for this. Zombies have, for their brain capacity, a very complex and in depth social structure. They arrange themselves in families, share food, and alert each other to the presence of a human. From the established pecking order to the hunting in packs, zombies have, and will continue to, follow the established hierarchy. Please mods, if you have any sort of decency in you, leave this here. I just need it for a little while. My Comp doesnt have a floppy drive yet, so I need to copy and paste. [Edited on 3/21/2005 7:23:38 PM]

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