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    They are the League of Extraordinary Shitposters There's something about them, but you can't quite grasp what. Is it the smell, that pleasant but menacing scent reminiscent of scrib jelly mixed with the musk of a guar? Perhaps it's that air of defiant godhood; you can feel just through their presence that they are the masters of their own realities. Whatever it is, you've come to realize what they truly are, or maybe just the beginning of what they are. You can read their stares, and you know that they can and won't tear you apart. That they are above you, and below you, and beside and inside you. In this moment you take the next step, you become they, they become you. Conqueror and alterer. You've come to the end and found the holy syllable. Royalty. I ARE ALL WE

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originally posted in:TLESP
4/17/2014 4:04:22 PM
4

Bungie or Death?

Three guys are walking through a jungle when they are caught and taken prisoner by a savage tribe. The tribe chief says to the first man, "I will give you two choices. Death, or bungie." The man, not knowing what 'bungie' was, decided to choose that, because anything could be better than death. So the tribe proceeded to sodomize him repeatedly, for over an hour until he could barely walk. He stumbled away in tears as the other two men watched in horror. The chief asks the second man, "Death, or bungie?" The man was horrified by what he had seen, but still would rather not die. He chose bungie, and the tribe proceeded to sodomize him even more viciously than the first man, for hours and hours, leaving him permanently crippled. He dragged himself away, sobbing. The chief asked the last man, "Death or bungie?" The man decided that anything could be better than this 'bungie', even death. "I choose death!" the man exclaimed, bravely. The chief smiled. "Very well. Death.. by bungie!"

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